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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it is ok to jump the queue when with an infant?

504 replies

Eole · 24/10/2022 19:42

DH, DC (3 months) and I were flying for the first time today to see family, long expected break!
We had booked priority, lounges and everything we could to relieve a bit of the stress.
Priority queue was quite long to check in luggage and we started queuing nicely.
Another mum came along and told us we could jump the queue which we did gladly as baby started stirring a little bit.
However it enraged some of the people in the queue, literally shouting that it was very out of order and that was no such thing as baby class, and what is wrong with you people etc.
Interestingly, every other step in the airport (security, customs, boarding) we were invited nicely by the staff to jump the queue.

So YANBU, of course you can jump the queue when with an infant
YABU no, you should queue like everyone else

OP posts:
maddy68 · 27/10/2022 10:26

No. It's rude unless the people in front of you ask you

maddy68 · 27/10/2022 10:27

Sometimes airport staff ask children to go on first. But that depends on the airline

Delatron · 27/10/2022 10:36

I don’t know why people are getting worked up over this. I think it’s fine to go to the front of the queue if you have a baby. It is harder queuing and travelling with a baby. I’m sure check in staff would have said if you couldn’t go to the front. You’d get sent to the back. Worth a try!

We arrived at the airport late (shuttle bus didn’t turn up from car park). The queue for bag drop was horrific- we would have missed out flight. I spoke to a lovely Ryanair lady and she ushered us to the front of the queue. Nobody shouted.

MrsMontyD · 27/10/2022 10:55

The only people I've seen get priority at check in are those who are disabled (usually using wheelchairs or crutches so they can't handle their own luggage) I've never known people with children be given priority, only sometimes at boarding.

I wouldn't have shouted but I'd have been annoyed, two of you (presumably young and you haven't mentioned an Illness or disability) could manage one tiny 3 month old in a pram much better than I can manage standing in a queue with luggage and my arthritis, I'd have had something to say if you'd walked past me in the queue. Do you push in at the supermarket or the post office as well?

QuebecBagnet · 27/10/2022 11:04

Have to say I think it's very odd that the OP chose a poll of;

So YANBU, of course you can jump the queue when with an infant
YABU no, you should queue like everyone else

When what she is now actually saying is

YANBU, of course you can listen to airport staff and follow their instructions if they bring your forward
YABU, no you should ignore the staff instructions and queue like everyone else.

Even the title of the thread is wrong for what she now says happened.

And of course the woman who in the OP told her to queue jump is now a member of staff - again very different. I really don't understand why people drip feed massively like this. Why can't they just say what actually happened from the start - it would have been a very different thread. Hmm

MrsMontyD · 27/10/2022 11:14

QuebecBagnet · 27/10/2022 11:04

Have to say I think it's very odd that the OP chose a poll of;

So YANBU, of course you can jump the queue when with an infant
YABU no, you should queue like everyone else

When what she is now actually saying is

YANBU, of course you can listen to airport staff and follow their instructions if they bring your forward
YABU, no you should ignore the staff instructions and queue like everyone else.

Even the title of the thread is wrong for what she now says happened.

And of course the woman who in the OP told her to queue jump is now a member of staff - again very different. I really don't understand why people drip feed massively like this. Why can't they just say what actually happened from the start - it would have been a very different thread. Hmm

I think the OP is just trying to justify their behaviour with the added details, it sounds like they'd jumped the queue and staff tried to get them processed and out of the way as quickly as possible to avoid even more of a fuss.

They behaved in an entitled manner and got away with it because of where they were. They wouldn't presumably have risked such behaviour queuing at a supermarket or waiting for a table in a busy restaurant.

JanetSally · 27/10/2022 11:49

I agree.

Inbthe 1st posts they walked up to the top of the queue and eventually staff agreed to check them in.

In the later ones they changed to a Lane specifically for families and were checked in at a separate desk.

In the first posts there was general annoyance by people in the queue.

Now it's just one man who was complaining while everyone else seems to have been fine with it.

sue20 · 27/10/2022 12:55

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 24/10/2022 19:45

She did! The staff approached her and brought her to the front.

Show quote history

She says it was a Mum not staff

sue20 · 27/10/2022 13:02

Agree with this. There are reasons in all ways and at all different times of life to feel the need for things to be made easier. I think if handling a child who is crying/tantruming then it’s to all people’s benefit that the queue is jumped. But having had a 3 month baby I don’t think in an ordinary way it’s more difficult than less visible issues.

menopausalbloat · 27/10/2022 13:02

I'd be doing everything to ensure that baby boarded the plane in the least stressful way! Nothing worse than a stressed-out baby in an enclosed space.

sue20 · 27/10/2022 13:13

Bobshhh · 24/10/2022 20:51

So you're in the priority check in queue anyway and thought you could jump to the front because you have a baby? That's so weird!

Yes. I think when you have a small baby you are in a cocoon of caring for the baby and all that surrounds it. Especially if it’s a first. It makes you very self centred. You hopefully eventually learn that there are other people around you with maybe their own needs. And adjust your behaviour. Hopefully.

sue20 · 27/10/2022 13:17

JanetSally · 26/10/2022 18:43

I still don't really understand. If there was a special Lane for parents why were staff not ushering passengers with babies into it?

Yes the account doesn’t really make sense. On another note, not OPs fault, the shouting man could have had issues…..

DangerousAlchemy · 27/10/2022 13:38

Bokkenrijders · 24/10/2022 19:55

Is that you Phil and Holly?

🤣👏🤣👏🤣👏

Magnoliamarigold · 27/10/2022 13:44

@JanetSally

She didn't say there was a lane for families. She said that the method used to get to the front of the queue was via 'a parallel empty lane'

DangerousAlchemy · 27/10/2022 13:46

AnnieSnap · 25/10/2022 19:47

This 👆 I think your mistake was assuming the other mother was correct. Once you were up front and people were shouting, airline staff would call you forward to get you through and settle things down. People with young children are boarded first, but not checked-in first!

Show quote history

100% this! Everytime we check in most people in the queue are travelling with kids or babies - they can't all go to the front of the queue 🤣🤣. If the baby was screaming then fair enough I'd happily let them go to the front (to save my ears & fervently pray they aren't near me on the plane) but otherwise a baby in a pram is fine to queue. Especially as it was the OP AND her DH so she wasn't travelling alone either. Depends where she was in the queue too. If people had been queuing to check in for ages then not surprised they were a bit miffed if a family just sails past them for no apparent reason. I wouldn't have shouted at them though - that's rude - I would just have muttered to my DH how unfair that was 🤣 but there are a lot of rough families around - & nowhere is that more apparent than the check-in queue for a package holiday lol 🤣🤣

JanetSally · 27/10/2022 22:21

Magnoliamarigold · 27/10/2022 13:44

@JanetSally

She didn't say there was a lane for families. She said that the method used to get to the front of the queue was via 'a parallel empty lane'

So they skipped the queue on the word of a random passenger? Does that make it any better?

Magnoliamarigold · 28/10/2022 09:27

Yes I don't think OP did anything wrong to be honest. She was queuing, passenger told her staff said go this way if you have a baby, OP goes to the front and gets called forward when they see her.

It's not ok to shout at a woman with a 3 month old baby. End of.

JanetSally · 28/10/2022 09:33

It's not OK to shout at anyone.

Anyhow it's still not fully clear what happened.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 28/10/2022 09:34

Magnoliamarigold · 28/10/2022 09:27

Yes I don't think OP did anything wrong to be honest. She was queuing, passenger told her staff said go this way if you have a baby, OP goes to the front and gets called forward when they see her.

It's not ok to shout at a woman with a 3 month old baby. End of.

This

if someone came up to me and said the member of staff said we can go to the front I would assume she’s telling the truth. I can’t see what she would gain from it apart from being kind to another person.

And I was consistently ushered to the front by staff when I last flew with a small baby. I was also the only one who wasn’t asked to remove their shoes. (Admittedly a bit ago, my babies are no longer small)

MrsMontyD · 28/10/2022 12:01

Magnoliamarigold · 28/10/2022 09:27

Yes I don't think OP did anything wrong to be honest. She was queuing, passenger told her staff said go this way if you have a baby, OP goes to the front and gets called forward when they see her.

It's not ok to shout at a woman with a 3 month old baby. End of.

But what else are the staff going to do at that point? It sounds to me like they called them forward and got them out of the way to prevent further issues, given people were shouting.

You don't go to the front of a queue without being asked to by someone who has authority, so a member of staff, not some random person. I bet there were other parents in the queue who the random lady didn't speak to, probably having a much harder time with toddlers and multiple bags and cases.

Quisquam · 28/10/2022 12:02

I'd be doing everything to ensure that baby boarded the plane in the least stressful way! Nothing worse than a stressed-out baby in an enclosed space.

In my opinion, you are naive or lucky! We don't fly with DD very often, but sometimes we think, well she is entitled to nice holidays too; or there is a family wedding abroad. We would pay for priority check in. I would not be at all happy to see a set of parents with a 3m old baby go to the head of the queue, as they think they are "entitled"; when DD may not be able to stand too long - we could end up in A & E and miss our flight. As for the pp, who say we are not taking into account how much stuff parents need for a baby - I'd say some of us, need the same stuff for our DC; but its adult sized. Incontinence pants, baby wipes, nappy sacks, meds, spare clothes, food, something to keep her occupied on the flight.....

I can assure you, it is far harder to deal with an adult sized toddler, with challenging behaviour, than a 3 month old baby. She can be charm personified; but she can get stressed too. No baby is capable of shouting at all and sundry

"I hate you. Fuck off you bitch. I never want to see you again!"

Then, perhaps, she could push you over or punch you in the stomach for good measure.

I will certainly book special assistance for her in future (although we have booked it before, and on the day, there was none); now I know people with babies think they are the only people in the world, with difficulties in queuing; and apparently unable to conceptualise that other people have problems too.

MrsMontyD · 28/10/2022 12:10

I would swap standing in a long slow queue with my arthritis for pushing a 3 month old baby in a pram through check in (with another adult to help me) every time. I take Tramadol before I set foot in an airport. I'd even swap it for bored toddler.

GoodnightGentleBoris · 28/10/2022 12:28

Quisquam · 28/10/2022 12:02

I'd be doing everything to ensure that baby boarded the plane in the least stressful way! Nothing worse than a stressed-out baby in an enclosed space.

In my opinion, you are naive or lucky! We don't fly with DD very often, but sometimes we think, well she is entitled to nice holidays too; or there is a family wedding abroad. We would pay for priority check in. I would not be at all happy to see a set of parents with a 3m old baby go to the head of the queue, as they think they are "entitled"; when DD may not be able to stand too long - we could end up in A & E and miss our flight. As for the pp, who say we are not taking into account how much stuff parents need for a baby - I'd say some of us, need the same stuff for our DC; but its adult sized. Incontinence pants, baby wipes, nappy sacks, meds, spare clothes, food, something to keep her occupied on the flight.....

I can assure you, it is far harder to deal with an adult sized toddler, with challenging behaviour, than a 3 month old baby. She can be charm personified; but she can get stressed too. No baby is capable of shouting at all and sundry

"I hate you. Fuck off you bitch. I never want to see you again!"

Then, perhaps, she could push you over or punch you in the stomach for good measure.

I will certainly book special assistance for her in future (although we have booked it before, and on the day, there was none); now I know people with babies think they are the only people in the world, with difficulties in queuing; and apparently unable to conceptualise that other people have problems too.

now I know people with babies think they are the only people in the world, with difficulties in queuing; and apparently unable to conceptualise that other people have problems too.

I don’t think that’s really fair, as a parent of a baby I certainly think that someone with a disabled child needs the priority spot more than I do. I can’t see that anyone could argue otherwise really

Quisquam · 28/10/2022 12:35

I don’t think that’s really fair, as a parent of a baby I certainly think that someone with a disabled child needs the priority spot more than I do. I can’t see that anyone could argue otherwise really

OP was in a priority queue for check in - why did she think other people had paid for priority? For all she knew, every person could have had their own reason, such as they had an invisible disability, a child with an invisible disability, etc. Yet, she didn't ask anybody else if they minded her going to the top of the queue - she thought she was entitled to take priority over everybody else, because she had a baby. One baby is not that hard - as I have posted previously, we had twin DDs, and I used to wonder what people with a singleton did all day; and why they made such a big production of it?

Magnoliamarigold · 28/10/2022 13:11

Wow. So now OP barged past disabled people, trampled on some toddlers and sat on top of the check in desk shouting and demanding to be checked in first...