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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Which friend is wrong?

52 replies

whoisBUherehelp · 23/10/2022 18:34

Friend A - long term relationship, married baby on the way

Friend B - was single for 7 years (not through choice) and has suffered badly with depressing. Is now in a very happy relationship of one year.

We met for lunch today and afterwards friend A messaged friend B saying how lovely it was to see her and that she seemed glowing with happiness and it’s lovely.

Friend B has screenshot the message, sent it to me and she is FURIOUS. Said friend A was being a smug, patronising bitch. I don’t really know what to say.

YANBU - friend A was trying to be nice

YABU - friend A was being smug and patronising

OP posts:
Borisisabanana · 23/10/2022 18:36

Friend A sounds lovely and friend B doesn’t sound that hAppy

Morechocmorechoc · 23/10/2022 18:36

Friend b clearly has issues!

muchprefersummer · 23/10/2022 18:37

And maybe this was why friend B was single for 7 years. She's not nice.

OrigamiOwls · 23/10/2022 18:37

Friend B needs to calm herself down before she finds herself lacking any friends

excelledyourself · 23/10/2022 18:37

I don't think friend B knows what it means to be a friend.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 23/10/2022 18:37

Wow. That is some shitty reaction to a comment from someone then call a friend.

If there is not history between them that would indicate A is a snide cow then I don’t know what B’s problem is. She needs to get a grip.

FionnulaTheCooler · 23/10/2022 18:38

Friend B is overreacting. Sounds like friend A was just trying to give her a compliment, which she has taken the wrong way.

Soubriquet · 23/10/2022 18:38

Friend B has issues. Friend A was being nice

Willbe2under2 · 23/10/2022 18:38

So B's upset because A's happy that B is happy? B is being U.

RonSwansonsChair · 23/10/2022 18:39

Friend A sounds lovely, friend B sounds bonkers

BattenburgDonkey · 23/10/2022 18:39

B sounds jealous and is over reacting, A clearly hasn’t done anything wrong, unless there is a back story of them being patronising here.

Davros · 23/10/2022 18:39

B is wrong

malmi · 23/10/2022 18:39

Depends on the exact wording

NoSquirrels · 23/10/2022 18:39

Unless there is a backstory, Friend A was just being nice.

lentilly · 23/10/2022 18:39

Is there a massive backstory eg. A has told B once they find a partner they'll be happy?

cravattwat · 23/10/2022 18:40

Unless there's a backstory between then, B is a rude twat.

I've got a friend who is in a lovely new relationship after being dicked around and I've told her lots how happy I am for her and I mean it.

YellowTreeHouse · 23/10/2022 18:41

B’s a miserable bitch. No wonder she was single for so long.

TeaPleaseNoLemon · 23/10/2022 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Previously banned poster - This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

kimchifix · 23/10/2022 18:43

Yanbu - friend B seems very sensitive and has taken it the wrong way and is over-reacting. Without knowing friend A it doesn't sound like she was deliberately being patronising, although I do see how it could be taken that way if B was so inclined and in the lookout for having been pitied in the past.

blebbleb · 23/10/2022 18:43

Wow friend B sounds lovely Confused

pewtypie · 23/10/2022 18:44

B for bitch.

megosaurusrex · 23/10/2022 18:46

Sounds like B is jealous of A

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 23/10/2022 18:47

Friend B is showing why she was single for 7 years.

Friend A was being nice.

MyneighbourisTotoro · 23/10/2022 18:56

Friend A sounds like she was just trying to be supportive and nice.
Friend B clearly overacted!

burnoutbabe · 23/10/2022 18:57

i'd assume it was being nice but it can also be patronising - i'd not be FURRIOUS about it

(i remember i bought my own flat, at 29 and visiting my aunt - as i left, she mentioned how pleased i was "i'd met someone nice" - i found it a tad patronising/odd that THAT was thw achievement to be pleased about, rather than being able to buy a flat as a single person - one being due to hard work and the other luck)