Which friend is wrong?

[whoisBUherehelp]

Friend A - long term relationship, married baby on the way

Friend B - was single for 7 years (not through choice) and has suffered badly with depressing. Is now in a very happy relationship of one year.

We met for lunch today and afterwards friend A messaged friend B saying how lovely it was to see her and that she seemed glowing with happiness and it’s lovely.

Friend B has screenshot the message, sent it to me and she is FURIOUS. Said friend A was being a smug, patronising bitch. I don’t really know what to say.

YANBU - friend A was trying to be nice

YABU - friend A was being smug and patronising

Friend B is in the wrong. Is she jealous because Friend A is pregnant?

Friend B is being weird.

The fact you have to ask suggests that there must be backstory here as based on just what you've said B is completely wrong.

Unless friend B was miserable and grouchy for their lunch and friend A was being sarcastic, sounds like friend A misread friend B. B is not glowing or happy or she wouldn't have overanalysed and snarled back at a comment that was complimentary to her. Would she have preferred A to have confirmed her insecurities and said "I gritted my teeth through lunch and now feel relieved that I don't have to deal with you for a few weeks". If she overeacts like this too much then this is exactly what her friends will be thinking. We all need a friend who gives us compliments but it takes strength to accept them sometimes.

@ThirtyThreeTrees no backstory.

Friend A is a ‘lucky person’ in terms of things just working out for her fertility, financially etc and it can rub friend B up the wrong way in general.

I’ve never found her smug but perhaps naively positive which can be annoying at times.

Friends b sounds like a shit friend

Agree with this. I can see how it could be patronising.

I can too, but it does depend

B is being ridiculous and unkind.

Friend A sounds nice and friend B sounds a bit odd. Are you really friend A?

Friend B needs to get over herself

Friend b,.😲😲

Friend a, was trying to be nice.
Seems friend b took unintended offence

No brainer, friend B being a teat. Friend A very nice

Seems.like friend b, has more beef with friend a,

I find it weird that friend B would find it acceptable to send this to you about a mutual friend. Have you shown signs that it's acceptable for her to approach you and call another friend a bitch?

I can't think of any friends who would do the same to me...

Think friend B has totally overthought how friend A ment it, someone could take it negatively, like a backhanded complaint , thinking well was I really that miserable before I met someone. Totally overthinking it, maybe ask friend B why it was such a negative thing to say to her so you can understand.

Friend B sounds like the bitch. What did you reply OP?

YANBU Friend A was being genuine and Friend B could try and show some generosity towards Friend A's intentions.

There is more to this

Totally agree! The harder I work, the luckier I get!

You both sound like horrible friends! Hope friend A had other better friends that she can spend time with.

Friend B is insecure. Possibly wants all the luck of friend A. Feels patronised by friend A and Is defensive.

Friend A is a Pollyanna type who wants everyone to be wonderful and happy which is hard for some. Maybe B wants a husband and pregnancy but feels it’s years away if ever and is offended by words of faint praise?

@TeaPleaseNoLemon @XanaduKira

Financial luck can also come from family wealth or marriage.

And to say the harder you find that the work the luckier you get is a bit done deaf / naive when the example I gave was fertility.

Omg this. I am glad B isn't my friend. She sounds utterly joyless and abrasive as hell