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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Exhausted

36 replies

Dancingflow · 23/10/2022 09:06

DC has been unwell for three days with a throat infection. Sought medical attention and just been giving TLC at home. Nights have been very unsettled and I have seen sleeping beside DC as he vomited on Friday evening and is uncomfortable sleeping at the minute. All in all the weekend has been exhausting but that’s what happens when a child is ooorly. Yesterday morning, I got up with DC, did all the chores, saw to the pets and my son. My husband had a lie in then later that day went to the gym. I wasn’t bothered as I was happy to stay at home with Dc.
This morning, DC gets up at eight and shoes downstairs with husband. I think I might get a longer lie in but no, my husband comes up twenty minutes later and says I’ve arranged to play golf with such and such at nine - I can cancel it though. AIBU to think he should have done just that without putting it on me. Of course, I said no, got out of bed and just feel exhausted. He’s now away for five hours and He does this a lot.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 23/10/2022 11:54

Oh, @Dancingflow . You deserve so much better than this. You really, really do.

He had multiple affairs and he is walking all over you.

leave. You’ll be better off on your own than with him.

💐

Topgub · 23/10/2022 11:55

The children should be why you're ending it.

Don't teach them that being a door mat is normal

BrutusMcDogface · 23/10/2022 11:56

Can’t you see his wrong it is that HE had the affairs, yet you believe it’s YOUR responsibility to make it work?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/10/2022 12:26

I tried and failed to post already about the extraordinary selfishness of the two days off he feels he deserves.

He’s also had affairs? Good Lord OP, he’s got no respect for you whatsoever.

As for telling you to “bite your tongue”, who does he think he is? A character on the Crown, or some sort of period drama? The woman has to bite her tongue whilst her husband leaves her all weekend to battle with children’s illness, and also cheats on her? Is it the 1600s or something?

Its for your children’s sake as well as your own that you should leave this vile man. Plus there’s no such thing as being on “a period of reconciliation”. He thinks he knows you’ll accept anything and just keeping bowing down to him. Will you?

mansviewpoint · 23/10/2022 12:26

Dancingflow · 23/10/2022 11:51

Because of children. Also, he has had affairs plural and I have taken him back so feel like it’s my responsibility to make it work. This ironically is supposed to be a reconciliation period at present.

Nope. Not at all. You gave him a chance, and he is responsible to make it work. If he can't keep his d*ck out of other women for the sake of the children, he certainly won't for you. If you want your daughter to feel subserviant with him, then stay, if you want your son to end up abusing his wife like he does, then stay with him. If you want the kids to develop into happy well adjusted people, then change the relationship dynamic.

VladmirsPoutine · 23/10/2022 12:39

The golfing is really not the issue here. I'm sorry to say it but you need to get a divorce. He has worn you down to the point where he can just do as he pleases as he knows you're not going to complain or leave. This is outrageous - you need to find the anger, of course you're exhausted!

BryceQuinlan · 23/10/2022 12:43

How depressing.

Towcat15 · 23/10/2022 12:44

Sorry I voted yabu because you’re being a martyr. You can’t say ‘yes go and play golf darling’ then be miserable about it. Let him sulk.

jay55 · 23/10/2022 13:11

Surely you are now going to be grumpy, tetchy and resentful for the rest of the day.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/10/2022 13:25

Surely you are now going to be grumpy, tetchy and resentful for the rest of the day.

Also this

bewarethetides · 23/10/2022 13:42

Dancingflow · 23/10/2022 10:45

Because if he doesn’t go, he will be grumpy and tetchy for the rest of the day.

Then leave him to it. Get in your car, drive to someplace safe like a local park and have a nap in your car.

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