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AIBU?

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Original poster

To sack cleaner for this?

383 replies

Katrinawaves · 21/10/2022 20:33

My husband and I had a mix up today and both left cash out to pay the cleaner. She has taken both lots of cash so double her normal payment for the day. Would I be unreasonable to sack her for this? My husband is saying we should just not pay her next week but I am concerned now about her honesty. What would you do?

OP posts:
goodbyestranger · 22/10/2022 11:25

If you know the Op from previous threads, you will know [the] DH is a very very competent liar who is pretty morally abhorrent

I don't know the OP as I said but my money is on the ne'er do well DH saying he had put the cash out when in fact he hadn't. That's the answer :)

jammydodgersforever · 22/10/2022 11:28

I wonder if she pocketed the first lot on auto pilot and then at the end of her shift saw the money and took it not remembering the first. That may seem a bit of a stretch but if you've got a lot on your mind it could happen. You should defiantly message her.

goodbyestranger · 22/10/2022 11:28

Don't know in what way the guy is morally abhorrent but if he's into messing with the OP's head then that would be a typical move. Cause problems between OP and cleaner. Even a not morally abhorrent DH might say oh yes I left it just to avoid any sort of row, however mild.

daisychain01 · 22/10/2022 11:32

daisychain01 · 22/10/2022 08:14

..... or innocent until proven guilty.

You need to go into the conversation with your cleaner on the assumption that they are innocent. This will ensure that whatever the outcome, you both come away with dignity intact.

"DH and I each left £50 for you this week, by mistake. It was a mix up on our part as we were in a rush that day. Did you see both lots of money on the table?"

note the wording "did you see ..." not "did you take...."

say the above and no more. Let your cleaner talk about the situation from their point of view.

there are many possible scenarios and outcomes:

  1. Supposing your DH hadn't even left the money, maybe he thought he had, but had not. Are you 100% certain he had? What then? The reality is they were innocent of any wrong doing, but there is no proof unless of course you have the MN security CCTV camera footage, panning down on the table showing two separate piles of money From your cleaner's perspective they were completely innocent and will say "I only took the £50 you left for me". Are you going to sack them anyway because you think they're lying, but you only have your DHs word not actual proof.
  2. Supposing they took the 2 x £50. But then deny it vociferously and say there was only 1 x £50 . You have no proof, you then have to decide if you believe them or not.
  3. Supposing they admit wrong-doing and apologise, yes they took the 2 x £50 but state they honestly thought they had been left a bonus. Are you really going to sack that person? Even after they apologise?
  4. Supposing they admit they took the money but didn't feel they did anything wrong, they thought it was a bonus. in this case, you can sack them for stealing, but at a time like this, be aware people are doing desperate things to keep the wolf from the door, you'd have to be a pretty harsh person to send them packing. Sadly when cash is left out it does put temptation in peoples way, that's life. You'd do well to learn a lesson from this and agree with your DH that only one of you should ever leave the cleaner their money so it never happens again.
Show quote history

But he can be absent minded so as I did not see it on the table, I left some out. I did text my husband to check whether he had left money for her but he was at work and did not see the text.

Eh? OP are you serious?

I've re quoted my own post from earlier today where Point 1 questioned whether you're certain your DH even left the money in the first place and now here you are admitting your DH is absent minded and you haven't even ascertained whether he did leave the money.

you can't go around accusing people of doing things when you haven't even bothered to get your facts straight!

daisychain01 · 22/10/2022 11:34

goodbyestranger · 22/10/2022 11:25

If you know the Op from previous threads, you will know [the] DH is a very very competent liar who is pretty morally abhorrent

I don't know the OP as I said but my money is on the ne'er do well DH saying he had put the cash out when in fact he hadn't. That's the answer :)

And the poor cleaner gets caught up in the vortex and sacked for being a liar and a thief.

i have no words.

OoooohMatron · 22/10/2022 11:42

Some weird replies on here. I have a cleaner 2 hours a week, doesn't mean I'm minted, far from it. Also not sure where people get the idea that a cleaner is a low income job either. My cleaner charges £16 an hour, which is way more than minimum wage and allows her to work flexible hours around her kids.

marcopront · 22/10/2022 12:36

@Katrinawaves

My husband usually leaves the money for her and she picks it up as she is leaving. But he can be absent minded so as I did not see it on the table, I left some out. I did text my husband to check whether he had left money for her but he was at work and did not see the text.

Didn't you think to ask her, if he had left the money?

C8H10N4O2 · 22/10/2022 14:23

OoooohMatron · 22/10/2022 11:42

Some weird replies on here. I have a cleaner 2 hours a week, doesn't mean I'm minted, far from it. Also not sure where people get the idea that a cleaner is a low income job either. My cleaner charges £16 an hour, which is way more than minimum wage and allows her to work flexible hours around her kids.

You are paying £16 an hour for a service, that is not the same as her earning £16 an hour (all the business costs come out of it first).

KitchenSupper · 22/10/2022 14:41

Meagainalready · 22/10/2022 08:57

Wouldn’t she see the first lot of cash in her wallet when she put the second lot in?

or get home and count her wages out and realise?

Im not sure most people capable of holding down a job are so forgetful they can’t recall picking up money a couple of hours previously.

Im not saying she was stealing but yours doesn’t seem the most likely explanation.

Show quote history

If she receives all her wages in cash she probably has more notes in there than the average person to start with.
I don’t think she should be expected to know exactly how much is in her wallet at all times, I certainly wouldn’t know offhand.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 22/10/2022 15:01

C8H10N4O2 · 22/10/2022 14:23

You are paying £16 an hour for a service, that is not the same as her earning £16 an hour (all the business costs come out of it first).

Show quote history

Transport?

FurElsie · 22/10/2022 15:29

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 21/10/2022 23:42

Can't you do your own cleaning if you're at home?

🤣 I was waiting for something like this!

Endlesslysurprised84 · 22/10/2022 15:38

OoooohMatron · 22/10/2022 11:42

Some weird replies on here. I have a cleaner 2 hours a week, doesn't mean I'm minted, far from it. Also not sure where people get the idea that a cleaner is a low income job either. My cleaner charges £16 an hour, which is way more than minimum wage and allows her to work flexible hours around her kids.

No sick pay, no pension, travel costs, absolutely no employment rights (most aren’t through an agency), absolutely no job security whatsoever, no redundancy rights, no possibility of career progression, one of the first services to be terminated in a financial downturn, and I don’t know a cleaner that manages to carve out anything close to proper full time hours.

and you’re cleaning skid marks off toilet seats. Day in. Day out.

OoooohMatron · 22/10/2022 15:47

Endlesslysurprised84 · 22/10/2022 15:38

No sick pay, no pension, travel costs, absolutely no employment rights (most aren’t through an agency), absolutely no job security whatsoever, no redundancy rights, no possibility of career progression, one of the first services to be terminated in a financial downturn, and I don’t know a cleaner that manages to carve out anything close to proper full time hours.

and you’re cleaning skid marks off toilet seats. Day in. Day out.

Show quote history

You're describing many aspects of being self employed. Cleaners are in demand in my area, my cleaner is turning down work because she's so busy. As a self employed cleaner she can claim for petrol, equipment, cleaning products etc and if she doesn't it's because she's not declaring income to HMRC, in which case not paying tax (I don't ask, I don't care) Cleaning is a lot more lucrative than people think.

Endlesslysurprised84 · 22/10/2022 15:49

OoooohMatron · 22/10/2022 15:47

You're describing many aspects of being self employed. Cleaners are in demand in my area, my cleaner is turning down work because she's so busy. As a self employed cleaner she can claim for petrol, equipment, cleaning products etc and if she doesn't it's because she's not declaring income to HMRC, in which case not paying tax (I don't ask, I don't care) Cleaning is a lot more lucrative than people think.

Show quote history

Sadly

most are foreigners that don’t understand the administration process of declaring as self employed, especially in London of English isn’t good.

So they accept the cash. But are completely vulnerable

NumberTheory · 22/10/2022 16:58

ImustLearn2Cook · 22/10/2022 02:06

@NumberTheory I think that most people can see through a flimsy excuse and then respond accordingly. Also, effective communication would send a very clear message that you won’t be easily messed around with and that you are a reasonable person that doesn’t operate on assumption.

Why do you think the excuse will be flimsy? I think that’s really unlikely. Most of the things suggested on this thread are semi-plausible, but unprovable either way.

If you don’t trust her, if you think she may be trying ti on in some way, when you’re talking about theft from your home a clear message on communication is pointless. You need her to not be in your home.

dinkdink · 22/10/2022 17:39

No way, you left two lots but if she comes weekly maybe she thinks you paid her for next week already, It’s not for her to work this out of the cash was left for her where it normally would be, also I hate the fact people have suggested cleaning is a shitty job, some people enjoy helping people and being on the go as it’s a physical job not just sat down all day, so for them people get a grip and come back down to earth

Bib1234 · 22/10/2022 17:57

Why would she just take it? It could have been for someone else - she had her money - I think it’s very dishonest but also think you should ask her about it

Lndnmummy · 22/10/2022 17:59

It would be extremely unreasonable to sack someone without talking to them first. Why would you treat people like that?

Bunchymcbunchface · 22/10/2022 17:59

I used to clean
I’d have taken my wages and left the rest

I’d never assume it was a bonus

people were always leaving cash around the house(s)
I used to collect it up and put it all in one place in the room it was in so I could clean tables sideboards on top of the tv etc
never did I assume it was for me.

LovelyIssues · 22/10/2022 18:09

You BOTH left £50 in notes for a cleaner for A WEEK?! That is an expensive cleaner. Do you live in a mansion or does she come daily?

blanketyblank97 · 22/10/2022 18:11

LovelyIssues · 22/10/2022 18:09

You BOTH left £50 in notes for a cleaner for A WEEK?! That is an expensive cleaner. Do you live in a mansion or does she come daily?

3 hours a week I have my cleaner, that's £45 so I don't think it's excessive, depending on how many hours obviously.

Regularsizedrudy · 22/10/2022 18:11

Hang her from the lamppost!

or you could ask her about it like a normal person would.

ExpectMore · 22/10/2022 18:14

@MyrtlethePurpleTurtle

You’re not very kind, @ExpectMore

Eh? For suggesting she show some empathy and try to understand the situation (including considering that the cleaner may need some support) before summarily sacking the cleaner (fundamentally as a result of OP and her DH's mistake)...? Explain that to me please

Catzby · 22/10/2022 18:19

Totally unreasonable to make assumptions based on your own prejudices.
There could be a multitude of reasons:

  • she thought you were paying for both weeks
  • You gave a gift
  • Did anyone else take it?
Maybe speak to get before assuming the worst in others.
daisychain01 · 22/10/2022 18:21

I'm still not convinced the DH even left the money. Twat.

#bekindtocleaners