Would you let your 13 yr old watch or play 18s?

[Offandonagain]

I know the rating is 18, but personally I think that is unreasonable and totally depends on the film.

My 13yr old is not allowed to watch psycho/horror gore Halloween type films such as Halloween at this rating, or sexy stuff such as Wolf of Wall Street

But he has gta on his computer due to him moaning to me that his friends have it and he wants to be able to play with them.

He is also currently on to season 2 of breaking bad, which I didn’t realise he was watching until yesterday as he’d binge watched it whilst ill and I was in work. I’ve seen them all and know what to expect. I don’t want to stop him because he’s really in to it and I know if it was me I’d be pissed off.

yabu - bad bad parent

yanbu - it depends on the individual film/game?

(Pressed too soon)...when their child becomes a rapist. That's shocking.

I've never played it so he's obviously mis-remembered when describing it to me. The lack of fingers being cut off doesn't convince me its appropriate material for a child though as I'm assuming he is correct when he said somebody was actually tortured to death and you know the casual sexual violence

I have let my 12 year old play GTA, however I have researched it. He can not play in story mode this is where all the nudity and most of the violence etc is, however the online version Is much tamer with no nudity.
I think with anything as long as you research and know your child you can make the right decision.
I also think its really important not to put social barriers between my child and his peers, there’s been enough of them over the last 2 years thanks to covid. I don’t want him in the playground feeling isolated and excluded because he is the only one not playing a game, just because am trying to be on some moral high ground rather than take the time to research and understand a game.

Exactly this, word for word.

That's extreme sexual violence in the shape of a "game". And then we wonder why there are so many violent bastards around.

I know my 13 year old is not ready for things rated 18. I suppose it depends on the child. It is a definite no for everything rated 18 here and 15 ratings I watch first or watch with him and research the games first. Mostly he is ok with age rating 15.

I also think it’s really important not to put social barriers between my child and his peers, there’s been enough of them over the last 2 years thanks to covid. I don’t want him in the playground feeling isolated and excluded because he is the only one not playing a game, just because am trying to be on some moral high ground rather than take the time to research and understand a game.

Lol. If everyone is playing at battering and robbing vulnerable women I can’t let my child be left out!

You can’t try to research and understand GTA without coming to the conclusion it’s inappropriate for young children. And he will by no means he the only one in the playground who doesn’t play, unless he has absolutely no other interests.

Being allowed to watch 18 films is a right of passage. You are removing that from him. Reassess when he is 16.

Yabu, as an avid gamer I am sick of encountering clearly underage children in lobbies, who when losing become racist, homophobic, misogynistic, little bastards.

I can't count how many time I've heard an angry child screeching out an absolutely vile barrage of insults that contain every derogatory term and swear word known to man.

"Fucking camping /hacking ft / nr / s*t / we / etc, fuck your dead mum, I hope you get cancer you fucking st, I hope you get gang raped by nrs, are just some of the insults I've heard out of the mouths of angry children online and not infrequently either.

I report every single one in the hope they get a long ban but who knows if anything actually happens. Oh and before you come back and say "oh my little angel wouldn't do that" the frequency it happens would suggest a good portion of you are wrong, and even if your child doesn't do that, they're still being exposed to it.

It all depends on the specific media and the individual young person. It also depends how active the parent is in contextualizing it in a moral framework. They WILL see stuff and it's part of a parent's job to help them process and respond to it in a healthy way. Trying to blanket ban this stuff from teenagers rarely works on a number of levels, but parents whose kids have learned to hide things from them often think it does.

I wouldn't ask on Mumsnet though. People genuinely seem to think a 13 year old is no different to a 7 year old here. Talking about reporting you to the DSL. Lol.

I watched 18s when i was under 10 (older brothers). Ive turned out alright i think 😜

I agree, it's not appropriate for a child that's why it's an 18 rated game.

I just think if people are going to quote events from the game then it should be accurate information.

I actually don’t think GTA is appropriate full stop. Adult or not. Regardless of whether or not a 13 year old can distinguish between reality and fantasy, why would you want rape, murder, and torture to be your fantasy?

We were relaxed on films, we would judge on each film.. however I was a strict no on GTA

You know your child best though

I think there is a difference between watching an 18 film and playing GTA. The film they watch probably once, so it's two hours of passively watching, say, violence, as opposed to playing GTA regularly, and being the one actually doing the raping and being in conversation with others also doing it.

Commonsensemedia is brilliant, really useful reviews about things. I used my judgement and my knowledge about my own DCs. Ratings aren't always great, some films that were rated 15s years ago are not particularly unsuitable IMO some i find are more like 18s. Also old 12s would likely be rated 12As now so down to parental choice.

Video games I have been generally lenient with, DH always played them first and mostly played with the DCs when they were younger.

I was always into horror films from age 13 (don't really watch them now) but my 14 yo loves them and he is totally fine watching them and always has been. We are fully aware of what suits the DCs though and when he was younger he loved WWE and often watched it before bed but we realised it was over stimulating him so much it gave him nightmares so he was only allowed it early in the day. Eldest DS at 16 is more than capable of decided what is suitable for him or not now.

Absolutely not, they are 18’s for a reason.

When you have teenage children you will forever hear everyone has it, is going etc. You will be told your ruining my life etc. Then you will find out that none or few (generally the physically or emotionally absent parents) went did or had. I ruined my now adult sons life many times in his teens....he now says it was all tsln between friends much like when girls are talked into early sex becouse everyone does it. He's great full for the boundaries as he said the ones who didn't have them went on to have awful late teens couldn't cope at uni etc.
Parenting isn't about easy life or being a friend

This

I don't get the fantasy Vs reality argument at all either. Why would you want your child (or husband for that matter) to be spending time living in a fantasy world where they are stealing, raping, torturing women etc while hearing all this bad language and more. No thank you, and if that's what all their friends are playing then quite frankly I would rather they found new friends. The argument that they won't actually do it in real life is ridiculous. That game wouldn't be coming into my house full stop, call that a moral high ground if you like but I'm not going to apologise for having standards.

Another clickbait thread. There's a reason why professional people in a professional setting give these a certain rating. Try reading and understanding the criteria and why its something that is followed and endorsed by a huge swathe of industry and government, rather than reviews by 13yr olds?

Lol he has lots of other interests but am not naive he goes to an inner city comprehensive all the kids play it, and it’s not them just saying they do when really they don’t as I can hear them online together.
My son understands a game is make believe he isn’t for a minute going to go out and replicate it and if I thought he was going to go out and be violent, steal cars etc. I’d have much bigger issues than worrying about the games he is playing.

So how do you explain all the violence, before the consoles, e.g. Kray era ect

It doesn’t mean he’ll go out and do exactly what he does in the game - but unfortunately those ideals will be seeping into his developing mind.

I feel sorry for you that you can’t see that - I mean would you let him watch porn since it’s ‘all make believe’ and he won’t copy it?

I’ve always decided on a case by case basis.. I’ll take the ratings as a general advisory, not a strict rule. Ds (just turned 16) loves horror movies, but is also a kind, sensitive, empathetic teenager. There were a couple of things I said no to when he was a bit younger (ironically, one being GTA, although I wouldn’t have stressed if he’d played it elsewhere) but my only hard and fast rule now is that there is no pornography in this house (and that would apply to anyone regardless of age).

GTA is a wonderful game and a fantastic piece of art, but is completely unsuitable for a 13-year-old. The interactive element makes it significantly worse than allowing them to watch an 18-rated film, some of which are not that bad, depending on the reason for the rating.