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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What gives you the ick from the opposite sex

368 replies

dotty636 · 21/10/2022 00:43

Just for fun really

OP posts:
LemonDrop22 · 22/10/2022 07:54

One ex;

Mouth corner goop/stickiness/cracks (he smoked)

Saying he'd give up smoking/trying to give up smoking but always reverting to smoking

Talking about himself in the third person, always braggingly/egotistically

Pretty big belly/paunch which I didn't actually care about much but which he'd go on about in a ridiculous way "I never had this before/until recently!" when photos clearly showed he had.... Covering up with a t-shirt at all times due to it, he wanted to have sex with a t-shirt on, every time

Lack of foreplay

Super fast sex and climaxing. A few mins.

Would wank noisily and huffily if denied sex when he wanted it.
Huffing about lack of sex in general

Flat/non existent arse with saggy flaps of skin

Doing things like suggesting bath as a treat for me, then half filling the bath with barely warm water, handing me wine in one of those novelty wine glasses with an impractically long stem (and no base), and some strawberries.... While I could see the dried up strawberry from the last woman he'd done it with still in the bathroom bin/waste paper basket

Chewing/sucking the inside of his cheeks..

Refusing to get eyes tested and get some appropriate glasses ... While waving (country area where people wave at others passing on road) at empty parked cars ... And reading newspaper through generic reading glasses held in front of the paper.

Using the word spinster ... A lot (and in a derogatory manner).

Saying that women whose behaviour I complained about in work (work colleagues with some very frustrating traits) needed a good shag, that was their problem. It wasn't

Repeating the same anecdotes, stories, opinions etc. Ad nauseum. Huffing and getting annoyed when it was pointed out politely (after perhaps 20 times) that he was repeating the same anecdotes over and over

Jabbing me with his elbow when making a point, emphasising a point etc. Sane with hand "chopping" onto my arm etc.

Eating very very very quickly, like the food would be snatched away .... He let it slip that even other men had commented on it to him.
He once also licked a plate in front of me.

Having such poor spelling literacy (but doing nothing about it) that his texts were sometimes incomprehensible .... He would then phone me up and explain in a patronising and exasperated manner what he was saying ... As though I were slow and obtuse; not that his spelling was so bad it was hard to make out words/meaning.

I could go on...

FlirtyMelons · 22/10/2022 08:01

LemonDrop22 · 22/10/2022 07:25

What did he say - can you say?

I'm curious what (that's not offensive) someone could say that would make someone go from fancying to not fancying them almost instantly.

@LemonDrop22 TMI but he just said 'oh it slipped out' but in a weird voice, almost a baby voice but not quite and that was it. I know that sounds so shallow but that was just it for me.

I do genuinely think if you are properly in love with someone it's way more unlikely to happen and things that would have given you the ick with someone else wouldn't even register with them.

KikiniBamalamm · 22/10/2022 08:04

Bushy beards because they look like pubes

Topless if it isn’t the beach or the pool etc

Long fingernails

Dirty fingernails

LemonDrop22 · 22/10/2022 08:05

FlirtyMelons · 22/10/2022 08:01

@LemonDrop22 TMI but he just said 'oh it slipped out' but in a weird voice, almost a baby voice but not quite and that was it. I know that sounds so shallow but that was just it for me.

I do genuinely think if you are properly in love with someone it's way more unlikely to happen and things that would have given you the ick with someone else wouldn't even register with them.

Ah, that's fully understandable.😂

The baby voice part especially ... Uuuuugh

FlirtyMelons · 22/10/2022 08:12

😂 the baby voice does feature on this thread a few times.

LemonDrop22 · 22/10/2022 08:18

Well I guess we're wired that way as our partner is supposed to be the one helping us look after and raise babies, not be the actual baby.

On the flip side , deep voices on men; 😍

Michael Wincott (Guy of Gisborne in Robin Hood Prince of Theives) and Michael McElhatton (Roose Bolton in GOT) are not like super handsome but thryr voices elevate then into sex gods for me 😀

BeetFeet · 22/10/2022 08:21

A Yorkshire accent.

SirMoose · 22/10/2022 08:34

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 07:17

God… there’s more

And getting your heart broken will also help you learn (hopefully) to be emotionally independent, to stand up for yourself and know your worth.

So many men, especially younger men, only value themselves based on women's approval, and have difficulties feeling emotionally well without a partner. Learning that a woman in your life isn't everything is an important lesson. And that often comes when they try to move on from a break up.

😔

So pretty much the exact same advice that gets fished out in here then.

ReneBumsWombats · 22/10/2022 08:46

SirMoose · 22/10/2022 08:34

So pretty much the exact same advice that gets fished out in here then.

He's actually been up all night on Reddit frantically trying to find a few counter-examples to men being arseholes on the internet because he's so threatened by a gender neutral thread on Mumsnet. Some people have to work very hard at being right about something, which makes it all the more tragic when they still don't manage it.

TweetnDour · 22/10/2022 08:54

I must say I haven't heard many men do a baby voice, heard it done by women. I read on here that there might be a link with them wishing to be protected and as a mechanism they learnt in response to abuse so that made me feel neutral about this baby voice thing.

@alotoftutus Haha every summer it seems there are loads of men in flipflops :) I actually prefer a jesus sandal. Sensible, brown leather sandals with a linen, bamboo or cotton outfit sounds good to me. I love reading about contrasts in turn offs and ons as it gives a different perspective :) No comment about the grey tracksuit! Incidentally, I fancied a guy DESPITE his grey tracksuit but now I just can't do it.

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 11:48

ReneBumsWombats · 22/10/2022 08:46

He's actually been up all night on Reddit frantically trying to find a few counter-examples to men being arseholes on the internet because he's so threatened by a gender neutral thread on Mumsnet. Some people have to work very hard at being right about something, which makes it all the more tragic when they still don't manage it.

He? I’m a 50 (something !) year old woman.
Yes, I’ve been up all night. Thanks to the peri-menopause.
Yes I know that men can be a’holes - I have had the misfortune to have been surrounded by plenty of them over the years. Some pretty decent ones too.

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 11:49

*I’ve met some pretty decent men too

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 11:50

SirMoose · 22/10/2022 08:34

So pretty much the exact same advice that gets fished out in here then.

Yes! Exactly @SirMoose ! 😊

OP83 · 22/10/2022 11:59

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 11:50

Yes! Exactly @SirMoose ! 😊

"We have more in common that that which divides us". Some men are arseholes, some women are arseholes...fancy that.

Now, for something that REALLY gives me 'the ick'...people who use 'deep and meaningful' quotes at any given opportunity!

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 12:06

@OP83

Definitely! 😊

You’ve just reminded me of Matt Goss in that documentary!
Bros: After the screaming stops (Netflix)
SO profound! 🤣 🤮

AmberGer · 22/10/2022 12:10

Long fingernails (even if they're clean)
They read daily star, s*n, daily mail (or any rag paper)

OP83 · 22/10/2022 12:12

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 12:06

@OP83

Definitely! 😊

You’ve just reminded me of Matt Goss in that documentary!
Bros: After the screaming stops (Netflix)
SO profound! 🤣 🤮

I'll give it a watch!

BagpussBagpussOldFatFurryCatpuss · 22/10/2022 12:14

OP83 · 22/10/2022 12:12

I'll give it a watch!

@OP83
Be warned! It’s painful to watch! 🤣

Snoozer11 · 22/10/2022 13:10

Simonjt · 21/10/2022 19:18

You’re more than welcome to the racist, sexist, homophobic liars

Pathetic.

CookPassBabtridge · 22/10/2022 13:46

Being a sleaze on womens photos on fb etc, even when single. Wandering eyes. Eyeing up young women. Ick!

KikiniBamalamm · 23/10/2022 09:23

When men do that obvious looking you up and down thing. It’s just plain creepy and makes my skin crawl. I won’t care how handsome, smart of funny you are after that I’ll always think you’re a smart slimy sleeps 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

KikiniBamalamm · 23/10/2022 09:24

Smarmy slimy sleeze*

TinaWeymouthsBass · 23/10/2022 09:27

Tory/ukipper
smoker
not being able to drive

AffronttoBS · 23/10/2022 12:37

Sneering, angry Virtue signalling bearded woke bros, who tell you to BeKind.

NippyWoowoo · 23/10/2022 12:58

CruCru · 21/10/2022 09:55

Some of these are fair enough, not an irrational ick. Using a baby voice to suggest sex? Ugh.

Am feeling a bit sorry for the guys re body hair though. So far we’ve had completely smooth, hairy chest and curly body hair. Isn’t body hair generally curly?

I once got the ick because a man pronounced the “l” in folks.

Yep, body hair is curly especially in non-white men so I guess they give people the ick 🤷🏽‍♀️