In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

Tell you what OP. If struggling financially stresses you out and your boss dressing as she does gives you all additional mental stress, I’d be considering what not having a job might do if you go to HR trying to bully her out of dressing as she chooses

Eh?

Oh I see. Thank you for explaining that. I see your point. You’re right. I guess there was no need. I guess I just thought it was necessary to explain that looks can be deceiving. Is there really a need to be jealous if she too is struggling financially? That was my line of thought but now that I’m saying it out loud it doesn’t matter. She shouldn’t have to change herself to get the approval of others.

BTW if this is genuine you and your colleagues are bullies.

It's irrelevant if it bothers any of you if she is dressing in accordance to the work place's dress code. I doubt it says she can't wear anything with a designer label.

Stopping her wearing it won't make you and your colleagues any better paid.

I feel a bit sorry for the poor woman and don't even know her. Starts a new job - probably excited for a new challenge and promotion - only to end up with her colleagues gossiping and criticising her behind her back. And I doubt you'd even notice if it was a bloke wearing a designer suit either!

Things you've told us:

• she's younger than you
• she's more successful than you, so much so that you wouldn't even be considered for her job
• you all talk about her behind her back
• you research things that she wears to determine the price, then say she's being insensitive

I see the problem OP and it's not her.

This is why young, successful women have such a difficult time in the workplace. The odds are stacked against them from the get go and its not just from men.

I can't get my head around anyone thinking they can dictate their colleagues work attire - mind blown

Fair enough if she was coming in very scruffy and not looking professional, but you can't dictate where someone else shops it's ludicrous

This just sounds like taking office gossip out of the office.

I was Band 1 NHS... and I had to sometimes work with Band 9 employees. I was in a shitty uniform, and they were wearing designer gear.

There's a workplace I worked before and I wouldn't wear my designer stuff there if I continued working there as the team was exactly like op's team and for that reason alone I wouldn't have wanted to be target and would have preferred my team to be on my side so therefore it is vital to read the room in that sense. But on the other hand, people should be able to enjoy their stuff whether they have rich husbands or have bought it through their 6 figure salary or have rich parents who treat them with luxury items or simply inherited it.

No for sure about it at all
If she’s competent at her job and her attire is appropriate (but expensive that’s up to her)
your example is about a personal preference guiding behaviour. It’s a managerial preference, but it’s not HR
HR is about process, the application of policies, and fairness . It’s not about telling off someone for being a conspicuous spender

I don't think it's a HR issue, but people should really read the room. I work in the charity sector and never wear my flashy engagement ring because it just wouldn't be appropriate or respectful. I think it's just about being sensitive to other people and aware of the company culture. It would be the same as working in banking and wearing old clothes with holes in them all the time and being extremely stingy about every penny. Would be completely ridiculous.

We're not missing the point at all. You honestly sound a bit unhinged. She is entitled to wear whatever she likes so long as she adheres to the dress code.

Does this lady have any say in what you are paid? If so and you are being paid below market rate then I can appreciate the frustration.

However, if she has no say in your pay or you are indeed being paid market rate then I think YABU.

You also haven't answered whether she is good at her job. She has probably worked really hard to get to where she is and as long as she conducts herself and dresses professionally I don't see a big problem.

I think you are paying her way too much attention. I probably wouldn't know if something was expensive or not and you certainly don't help yourself by Googling items!

Any complaint taken to HR needs to be a loot your job and pay etc not an attack on someone who has done anything directly to you

OP! Stop.

Well, that's a bit silly. If people do notice your engagement ring, they may think it's cubic zirconia, or those other pretend diamonds from QVC. For goodness sake, wear what you want.

Oh @Mandarinthyme you so JELL! 😂

Steal her bag and set fire to it
It'll save you putting the heating on for a bit and make you feel better about what she earns

She’s very focused on how her team feels. I think she needs to distance herself from them if that is the case. Just because the team feels that way doesn’t mean they are right. There are environments where folks get caught up in gossip and bullying and feed off of each other’s unhealthy negative feelings.

This has got to be a joke! Why should she dress in other clothes just to please the staff. If she can afford it she can buy it and wear it. I don’t feel any sort of a way about my boss having fancier things, 2 homes and a caravan she goes to every weekend. Good on her she earned it!

Why? It sounds like you assume the people you work with would see value in your engagement ring. That says more about you than it does them.
I bet no one would notice or give a shit.

@Plmoknijb123 why wouldn’t it be respectful?

How is she head of a department if she is very young?

Raising it with HR or even somehow persuading her to wear different clothes won’t change her salary. Surely as an adult you’re well aware that some people earn more than others and that this is the case even within your own workplace?

If you think the pay gap is unfair within your company why not look for a role within one you think is more balanced?

Well shit I had an employee who drove a fancy sports car. I really did wrong.

🤣