To ask what you do on maternity leave?

[hagridsbeard33]

Dd is 6 months old. Once the initial newborn fog wore off a bit I started trying to get out with her. I do 1 sometimes 2 organised baby classes a week and occasionally take her swimming. We go on plenty of walks and I try to get out daily although often it is just a walk to the shops, wandering around Tesco or sitting in my mums kitchen. Sometimes though we do have days where we just stay home and do very little.

Some of the mums I met at baby group seem to have multiple things on everyday! Swimming sessions in the morning, baby yoga in the afternoon and it goes like this all week. On one hand I can't be bothered to do much more than I already am. On the other I feel like maybe I ought to be making more of mat leave as I won't be able to do these things as easily when I go back to work.

So how did your spend yours? Were you a fan of baby organised classes or did you do your own thing? Did you do nothing at all? (With my first I never even went to these classes as I was so lacking in confidence).

@fairgame84 sorry to hear you're having a tough time with breastfeeding. Has little one been checked for a tongue tie? Can really effect their latch and could explain the being sick if they're taking loads of air in due to not being latched properly and explain why your boobs are in agony.
That said please don't ever feel guilty for bottle feeding. As long as baby is fed and happy and you're happy that's all that matters

Walked a lot, read a lot, decluttered my house with DD in the sling, spent all my child benefit on coffee and cake, more or less ignored organised classes because DD always howled/pooed/fed throughout and invariably there was another mum there from the group of NCT witches who made my first weeks a misery. It was very refreshing when I stopped bothering with all the ~stuff and just treated it like a big holiday with a baby in tow. Museums, galleries, walks, cake, gardening, pottering… lovely.

My DD is almost 11 months. At the beginning I was meeting multiple people a day, going to loads of classes I was so scared of being lonely. Now I have an established group of friends and go to a few classes a week I enjoy the days where we have nothing on, we usually end up seeing a friend for a quick coffee but that's about it. I'm going to be a SAHM so I wonder how different my days will look when my friends are back at work!

Went to Ireland for 5 months of it - was firing covid and wanted to be nearer my family and support network ! My husband got the go ahead to work from
there

when I was there I just basically went for a lot of walks, out for lunches, coffees, hung out with my mum a lot (saw friends in the evenings when they finished work)

back in London I just did baby’s classes once or twice a week and popped to the cinema for bring your baby sessions

went in the city and did museums and gallery’s when it was quiet on weekday mornings

When DD was a baby we had an excellent Sure Start centre at the top of our road so we went to several of their groups each week. When I went back to work, my mum carried on taking her on the days i worked.

Pretty much just aim to get outdoors every day so he knows it's daytime 😅 we have various groups to go to for whoever I have that day but the school day is so short it pretty much feels like I blink and it's pickup time anyway. First baby I went on a few cheap trips at short notice just because I could.

I was like these people first time round, did so many classes! I was still in my old life of constantly doing things and seeing people. I calmed down later on and just did the better / low effort ones. Second time around I knew I'd be nothing like this and so far at 6 months haven't done a single class. Ds was pretty screamy the first few months and we're only just starting to get more of a routine so that I know he's actually enjoy a class plus travel. I reserve most of my energy for the school run and older dds things. I do take him for fresh air and nature though. As ds gets a bit older and starts crawling I'll think about a playgroup. I absolutely don't think the kids need any of it before 2, it's for the parents. So you choose!

I think what to do on Maternity leave is such a personal thing and it depends on the person. I hated organised groups (have an issue with clicks parents). But I had a friend who had two Ds’s, one of which was born 3 weeks before my DS. We always (even now and he’s 2) meet up and go to soft play once a month. However with my little one we are always pretty busy. I do pick up for my father in law and husband on working days which is about 1 1/2 hrs round trip. At 2 he still has an 1hr and 1/2 sleep during the day too. We do imaginative play (play doe, music play, dancing and shopping - he has a wooden shop lol and messy play 2 times a week (painting, cooking, gluing etc, paint an object for a family member Eg we recently did a birdhouse I bought from Aldi for £2.50). Then we also do sensory play too. I have been doing these since he could sit up (sensory before) what I’m trying to say is thy you don’t have to take them out everyday to do enrichment activities and even then we have SO many days where we sit and watch tv while we free play. Just spend time with your little one they learn so so so much from you and will normally enjoy the time with you. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and enjoy your little one.
I am expecting backlash from this post but this is my OPINION only and I’m not saying everyone should do this, I have anxiety and don’t really like large crowds or groups but my DS does swimming and other outside activities with his dad so he has that side also.

I loved ML, I did a watercolours class which I had to pay for and baby DS went in to the college crèche and then an IT course that was free which meant that the crèche was free. I also had an exercise class and swim session once a week, had to pay but the crèche was again free. So I had three two hour sessions where I just did stuff for me and DS got to play with other babies and toddlers. We also went to one baby group a week but only when he was tiny, we went out to lunch together to the same little cafe once a week.

I liked to get out once a day. Maybe a baby class or a meet a friend for lunch. I loved snuggly afternoons watching breastfeeding and binge watching something on Netflix.
Sounds like you have a good balance.

I stayed at home with my twins for 5 years. While under one we did very little as it was hard getting out with two babies. Once they were mobile and easier to handle we did a lot of toddler groups, often two a day, morning and afternoon. I would take them places like the airfield and fire station to look at planes and fire engines. Trips to ikea, swimming, spending time with friends, the aquarium, parks. With small children anything and everything is entertaining to them.

Mine are a while ago now
first one I did a few classes and met my NCT group once or twice a week for coffee or a walk, I then chilled at home but felt like I was missing something- until DD got into a routine that is and her naps were 3 hours from 12-3 an I then fully enjoyed having a rest! Score!!

With no2 I had the school run twice a day so that felt like I was getting out and seeing people without much effort - plus more groups here l-nicer area, which helped - went to a BF group and met some lovely friends there who I then went to various drop in baby groups with (church hall types) but as I was BF baby I spent a lot of time watching box sets and cuddling baby it was pure bliss and those 6 hours between school runs was delightful.

It was autumn/ winter in the early days and after a windy/ rainy school drop off and a busy rush to get out, that feeling of calm and no demands was just what I needed.
I loved coming home to a cosy house, warm breakfast and to sit and watch Netflix whilst feeding baby.

I bloody loved mat leave and fully owned it the second time not caring what others did- it was mine to be spent how I wanted to
thats all I’d recommend OP- just do what makes you happy.

With my 2nd, we didn’t have the opportunity to do any baby classes (lockdown) until the end of my maternity leave when we went to a music class. Nothing else was running. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her as a result, she is no different to her brother at the same age who had the opportunity to do lots.

The most important thing is that you spend time with them. Talk to them, sing to them, play with them in your own home - you don’t have to spend money every day for them to develop. More than anything I miss the days of being able to sit and cuddle my baby, so just enjoy the lazy days at home if you’re happy with them!

All of this! I used to drop my son off at school (morning nursery session) in that autumn term, my daughter would fall asleep, I’d get home, she would stay asleep and I got to drink hot tea and watch Netflix. Then she’d wake up, have a feed, and we’d go back to pick him up. Felt like I was winning at life! 😂