To ask what you do on maternity leave?

[hagridsbeard33]

Dd is 6 months old. Once the initial newborn fog wore off a bit I started trying to get out with her. I do 1 sometimes 2 organised baby classes a week and occasionally take her swimming. We go on plenty of walks and I try to get out daily although often it is just a walk to the shops, wandering around Tesco or sitting in my mums kitchen. Sometimes though we do have days where we just stay home and do very little.

Some of the mums I met at baby group seem to have multiple things on everyday! Swimming sessions in the morning, baby yoga in the afternoon and it goes like this all week. On one hand I can't be bothered to do much more than I already am. On the other I feel like maybe I ought to be making more of mat leave as I won't be able to do these things as easily when I go back to work.

So how did your spend yours? Were you a fan of baby organised classes or did you do your own thing? Did you do nothing at all? (With my first I never even went to these classes as I was so lacking in confidence).

I did a bathroom renovation! Not a single baby class

I went back to work full time when mine were 4 months both times. With DC1 I had two friends who had babies at the same time so we would do swimming, soft play, park a couple of times a week, we would also go to visit parents in law at least once a week and I d go out on my own as well.

With DC2 DC1 was almost 2 and we had a great time, we went out every day just on our own, no organised classes or anything and they would both nap afterwards 2 til 4 so I d either have a snooze myself or do some cleaning, prep dinner etc.

I m not fond of organised classes I imagined them to be cliquey and competitive so never really bothered.

This is me at the minute.
I feel so miserable.

I also find it tricky because dd has rigid nap times and always sleeps better at home in the crib. She will sleep in the pram but not as well and not for as long so I kind of have to work our days around at least one decent nap too.

I went back to work when both of mine where six months old.

Sorry to hear that @fairgame84 what's making you feel that way?

I have had a few crying days too. Mostly when baby is clingy and screamy. I can't get anything done and you just end up feeling awful. We've had a bit of that this morning but we are getting out for a class this afternoon. It's also pouring with rain which makes me a bit nervous for the winter months as it can be claustrophobic to feel like you don't have the option to go out. Walking in the pissing rain is no fun for anyone whereas a crisp sunny walk does wonders for my mood.

Surviving, pure and simple, hour by hour until he was 10 months old and i went back to work, barely went out, no clubs, only left the house to drive or push him to sleep. had no family or friends here so literally watched alot of TV and got through the day

Needless to say, no more kids for me lol

It sounds like you have a good balance. It's such an individual choice.

Mine sounds very similar to yours. I think do what you have the time, energy and mental capacity for. Putting pressure on yourself to do more will make you feel bad about yourself.

OP I was similar to you, a few classes but lots of walks. I also realised it’s the only time in my life I will get a career break so I made sure to stay in bed and play one day a week and have a lazy morning / watch that TV series etc.

If you remove the pressure (which all mums do) it makes it all more enjoyable. I don’t think having children being constantly entertained and being in activities is a good things. Some is good but independent play / entertainment is also needed.

Do whatever you want. No one gets a prize for attending the most baby groups!

With DS aged 6-12 weeks I was out with him every day, baby sensory, baby massage, baby rhyme time, meeting with friends who all had babies. Then lock down hit. Classes / groups started again when he was around 9 months and we done a couple a week, but still got out every day until I went back to work at 11 months.

With DD (now 4 months) I’m more relaxed and do choose to spend a little more time at home. The two days DS isn’t at nursery we’re out at his classes, country parks, soft play, occasionally swimming. The days he’s at nursery for a few hours I try and get the house work done, enjoy playing and just focusing on DD at home, doing errands, meeting a friend for tea and cake. So far I do one specific class for DD a week but hoping to start another one after October half term. None of my friends are on maternity leave at the moment where as lots of them were the first time round and that changes things as less people are free during the day to meet up / walk.

I think it’s important to have a balance. I do love getting out and about & seeing people but equally I love snuggling DD on the sofa and making the most of the lovely sleepy cuddles and her being this small!

I took DS for a walk everyday. Met up with some people.

We did go to a baby class every week and I stuck it out for a couple of months but it was too clicky so I just left.

I'm spending a lot of time cuddling him in bed while reading or scrolling in my phone when older DC are in nursery. I have just signed up for a Pilates class and night do some drop in baby classes if I can be bothered. I'm mainly enjoying the peace though.

When older DC are here we do stuff like farm and zoo visits, playground etc.

@hagridsbeard33
We're struggling with breastfeeding, it's just not working. Theres a problem with her latch which we thought had resolved but it hasn't and things are getting worse. She screams before a feed, during a feed and after a feed. We top her up by bottle, she vomits. To be fair she vomits after breastfeeding as well probably because she's so unsettled and jiggling about coming on and off all the time.
She can be an hour breastfeeding off both sides then a top up then wants another feed 2 hours later.
My breasts are painful.
She won't sleep at night so I'm trying to sleep with her on my chest.
I miss my old life.
Midwife has said it might be best just to bottle feed due to my low mood and previous pnd with dc1.
We're bottle feeding today but I feel so guilty for not breastfeeding. I've got loads of milk as I've just pumped off 80ml.
I feel like a failure. Breastfeeding is supposed to be natural and easy right?
I bottle feed dc1 and had no regrets, I don't know why I feel so differently this time.
I was going to go for a walk today but it's torrential rain so we're stuck indoors.
We're only on day 11 and I feel so miserable already.

The first time around, I did a lot of organised baby fun. It was nice to see people and get out of the house but it quickly became clear that my baby hated all that stuff. So I tried just doing things that made me feel better - stuff that made me feel able to look after my baby. I went to parent and baby exercise class (exercise is the next best thing if you're not getting any sleep, well maybe coffee and cake, but it gave me energy and helped me to feel stronger), I went to baby cinema (quiet, dark, you might both fall asleep), and I met up with baby parent friends as much as possible - at home, at cafes, at soft play, walks, parks, days out etc. Talking to adults when you're on maternity is life giving. But there should be no judgment, do what you need to do to get through the day, do some stuff to make you feel good and maybe when your baby gets bigger, do some stuff they might like!

I only had six months off work, I didn't enjoy going to baby groups so I spent a lot of time with friends and family and went for walks.

Ended up doing 2 modules, having to put my baby in Childcare, and then had to start my own business because my work refused to let me work part time.. this time I'm not even getting a maternity leave and I'm bitter :(

You could do those mother and baby fitness classes or get a running buggy and go running?

Lockdown

Baby groups, taking my baby to the libary he loves it.

Do what ever you feel like to the extent that the baby will tolerate!

everyone’s maternity leave is different. I have friends for whom it’s been one long lovely social event and others who’ve struggled emotionally, physically and financially.

Personally, I had horrible PND with my first and full lockdown with my second. I’ve got a third one coming up and I’m putting no pressure on myself other than to do whatever I need to to keep the baby and myself happy.

I used to

• go to baby group once a week
• swimming once a week
• meet with friends
• go to zoo
• clean & do food shop

I was however back at work by the time both mine were 6 months. So my fun time was short lived sadly. I loved being off with them.

@GlassesWearer How did you do it? Can you give an example of how your day was structured? I'd love to study a bit during mat leave but don't know where to find the time...

Baby classes 3 or 4 times a week, family once a week, occasionally some friends, enjoy a nice chill day in with all that! Soft play, walks etc. also 6 months.