To ask what you do on maternity leave?

[hagridsbeard33]

Dd is 6 months old. Once the initial newborn fog wore off a bit I started trying to get out with her. I do 1 sometimes 2 organised baby classes a week and occasionally take her swimming. We go on plenty of walks and I try to get out daily although often it is just a walk to the shops, wandering around Tesco or sitting in my mums kitchen. Sometimes though we do have days where we just stay home and do very little.

Some of the mums I met at baby group seem to have multiple things on everyday! Swimming sessions in the morning, baby yoga in the afternoon and it goes like this all week. On one hand I can't be bothered to do much more than I already am. On the other I feel like maybe I ought to be making more of mat leave as I won't be able to do these things as easily when I go back to work.

So how did your spend yours? Were you a fan of baby organised classes or did you do your own thing? Did you do nothing at all? (With my first I never even went to these classes as I was so lacking in confidence).

I found it helped to break up the day if we had something scheduled, but that might have just been a walk in the park or a coffee with a friend or a trip to the big supermarket - kind of what you're describing I suppose. We did a couple of classes a week but I'd have hated to pack them in I think.

And then if naps got mucked up or she had a temperature or a blowout nappy just as we were leaving the house, we wouldn't make it to the class anyway. I'd have found it quite stressful I think to have that many commitments with such a small baby. It's fine to chill out! Mat leave is for spending time with and care for your baby, so however you choose to do that isn't a 'waste'.

My mat leave experience was abit different, as 5 months in, covid/lockdown madness happened, but it was still very positive for me, despite that.

Pre covid , l went to the free baby groups held at the art gallery once a week. My next door neighbour had her dc around the same time so we often went together, which was nice. Tbh Mother/baby groups didn’t appeal to me that much, so we didn’t miss out on them when they closed for covid, as we wouldn’t have gone anyway!

We went to the local swimming pool too, they had free sessions for under 5s during the week, which I only found out about after one of the hv mentioned them. Perhaps check if your local pool has them.

We did lots of walks, local parks and national trust sites. I enjoyed them the most, as dh and I love walking and nature etc. Dd loved being in her cosy carrier, she would happily watch everything going on then fall asleep. Lovely memories.

I remember May 2020 had particularly gorgeous weather for the whole month, we spent a lot of time in the garden, playing on the grass, in the little paddling pool, blowing bubbles.

Some days, we didn’t leave the sofa, in the early months, cluster feeding, cuddling, Netflix and napping were all that was needed. I have very fond memories of those days too!

I wouldn’t have done anything differently. I’m due dc no2 early Feb & hoping to have the same lovely experience again, with toddler dd to share it with us too!

This time

I had my first baby in Dec 2019 so there was absolutely bugger all to do during maternity leave 🙄

Hoping to be able to do all the baby groups this time round!

@fairgame84 that sounds so much like my experience. We couldn't get the latch right at all and baby streamed non stop from the minute we got home from hospital. I immediately started combi feeding but I put so much pressure on myself to pump too. I had to feed her when she woke up and then make time to pump every few hours too. Double the work. I remember hiding from visitors and missing my older dc school engagements because I was so fixated on when I was going to pump.

I got some very valuable advice on here and pretty soon I realised this wasn't sustainable at all. Once I made the decision to stop I instantly felt a weight had been lifted. I'm not telling you to give up (the early days are notoriously hard and it does apparently get easier) but I'm telling you that there is no shame whatsoever in turning to formula. You will be happier and more relaxed which is what your baby needs. Sending hugs I remember those early days well.

Second time round is a bit different because I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old at home for two days during the week, DD goes to nursery 3 days per week.

If both kiddos are home- Pre-school music club once a week, a playdate 1-2 times a month, shopping, playing outside, playing indoors, reading, baking, watching children's shows whilst I'm cooking etc. I've managed to get both children to nap simultaneously in the afternoon so that's my chance to get housework sorted, have a cup of tea or watch TV. DD also has a dance class on a Saturday mornings.

If DD is in nursery and it's just DS and I-
Playing indoors, playing in the swing outside, going for a pram walk, baby music club, postnatal exercise group, baby swimming. Shopping and running errands, housework.

Really feels like the days are just flying by with two little ones! My motto during my first mat leave was: When in doubt go outside. I was super tired when DD was a baby but going for a walk outside always made me feel better, rain or shine. A bit of fresh air and light exercise always helped when I started to feel lonely or tired.

We do baby groups on a mon/Fri, see baby friends when they are about, shopping, see family and some days just laze at home!

I absolutely hated the idea of any organised classes so never went to them. I enjoyed walking to get a coffee each morning. Other times I went shopping. Just loved spending time with my baby without the pressure of other people / keeping to a schedule. My third baby was born during lockdown so that was different.

I was at baby groups at the surestart every day. It was a lovely time. Are they still going? Did baby massage, play and stay, there were meals and courses on, all free.

Walk, meet friends for walk/coffee, go to the gym (can take DD with me) Keep the house super clean 😂
I do not like baby classes.

I did a couple of baby classes, housework, seeing friends abs family and lots and lots of sitting on the sofa in my pjs cuddling DD. Don’t regret it at all!

Literally nothing most days and i love it 😂 occasional baby groups and that's it. We play loads at home and they see their siblings when they get in from school, they all play together then. We moved house when i was pregnant and i LOVE it so am happy staying indoors. Got baby starting 1 day a week nursery so they'll get some fun stuff there.
I did loads with my other two and part of me wishes I'd just chilled put more and enjoyed the 1 on 1 time.

With DC1, he was an awful sleeper for the whole year I was off. I found I needed the structured classes because trying to sit and play with DC1 at home the tiredness just took over, with a class you can piggyback off other people's energy for the time you are there. I'd try to make sure I had something planned every day, from memory it was somewhere between 1-3 classes and the other days walks / coffee with friends.

With DC2 when I had both at home most days, it dropped to one baby class on a day i only had DC2 and some toddler playgroups on 2 ish days.

I did an activity every morning and was out a few hours, then chill out afternoons and we both had a nap on the bed lol

We've done 1 or max 2 baby classes a week, I wouldn't want to do any more than that. I like the classes but I also like having free days to do whatever I fancy with DS! We still do baby sensory and did baby massage when DS was tiny.

We've also been out with the pram a lot, less so now that he's 11mo and prefers to be crawling/cruising all the time to sitting in his pram. We meet friends for coffee or soft play, go to parks to play on the swings if the weather allows. Visit my grandma once a week.

I love our days at home just playing and pottering about though, no pressure to be anywhere by a certain time and thinking "to be there by X time I need to feed him by Y and get him up from his nap by Z". And the best bit is lots of cosy contact naps on the sofa 😍

Recovering from pregnancy and birth, bonding with baby, eating nourishing food to replace lost nutrients, nursing and cuddling, soaking up oxytocin, closing the bones and generally resting and enjoying being a mother

Same here 🙃

I did very little. I did one baby class a week which after a few months I had to stop as it fell on her nap time, I was gutted as we both enjoyed it (she seemed to anyway). I did sometimes think I would of liked to of done more, bust cost wise I just couldn't. Do as much or as little as you want, enjoy your time whether that's just being at home or out and about. I certainly don't feel like I wasted my time off.

I definitely did lots of walking though, like you mostly just into town. This was lovely and I enjoyed that. Getting out once a day for a walk was often enough for me.

I did a lot of baby groups and found the same 4 mums went to a lot of them and we made friends that way and started doing coffees and playdates and less groups. The second babies were all born around the same time and its lovely to see them growing up together so far less groups.

This.
Classes were nice and all, but I much preferred the chilled walks with music. Or coffee and cake with the NCT ladies.

I looked forward to going back to work at month 10/11. (1 year off)

We loved swimming so went once a week or so. But not a class, i just took him myself when it suited.

I also quite often went to a music session. But i really hated anything where you had to commit to a term, we always ended up missing 3 or 4 and felt tied to a time that didn't work as naps changed, and when i worked out the cost it was so expensive for what it was.

I then also went to the toddler group in the local church hall, 50p, no booking etc just toys, cup of tea & a biscuit. That was probably my favourite tbh. DS is now at school with a few of the kids we went to that with, its a nice community thing.

Oh and i liked to stick to a nap routine, had no issues with just chilling at home with baby. We also went to supermarket, library, visitee friends and family, lots of walks and visits to parks, duckponds etc

I tended to do one thing a day, it was rare for me to spend almost a whole day out and about.

With my first:

• Library (initially just for me)
• Cinema screening that lets you take your baby (again for me)
• Spent a lot of time with my DM, DF and DB at their house, especially DM as she doesn't work
• Under 1s groups at two different children's centres
• Sat around at home, napped, housework, lots of time spent applying for jobs/training programmes
• Occasionally met up with a friend who was a shift worker so sometimes off in the week, either go to a cafe, for a walk together or she'd come to mine
• Walks around local highstreet and local parks
• A local church playgroup
• From around 6 months sometimes take her to the playground for a go on the swings
• Have lunches out in play cafes with my DM or with other local parents
• Food shopping

With DS:

• 2 different breastfeeding support groups at children's centres
• 2 different local church playgroups
• Drama group - was more for my eldest
• Go to the play cafe, sometimes meeting friends as by now I had other parent friends who either worked part time or were also on mat leave
• Had friends and their kids over to ours for play dates - more for my eldest
• Parks and playgrounds - more for my eldest
• Library - sometimes for me initially
• Food shopping
• Cinema screening that lets you take your baby with you - for me
• Clothes shopping, present shopping, whatever when I only had DS with me as he is fairly chilled baby when out - for me
• Lunches out with friends who were part time or shift workers or SAHMs to nursery or school aged kids on days I only had DS as he was fairly easy to take out - so this was for me
• Voluntary work from home
• Housework on days I only had DS, playing at home with the kids
• Going round to my DPs house and seeing my DPs and DB, because DM doesn't work, and DF and DB both mostly work from home

I've been busier second time round but not because I did more stuff for DS, but because I had to do more for DD and also I did more for me as he has been an easier baby.

When she was tiny I focussed on doing the stuff I wanted to do like go to the cinema. When they were bigger I would have at least one thing every day we could do if I felt like it eg play groups, swimming, music. But we see a lot of friends and still go out to galleries etc bc she likes the bus journey and will nap while I push the pram around.