To ask how to handle this - sister constantly taking my clothes without asking

[FourForYouGlenCocoYouGoGlenCoco]

I live with my sister, in a house share with a couple of other people (the others are both guys).

My sister constantly takes my clothes. Sometimes I’ll notice because she’ll have something of mine hanging up in her room or I’ll see some of my clothes when she takes her clothes out the washing machine. Or sometimes I can’t find something that I know I’ve put away in my wardrobe, or I’ll just see her wearing something of mine. She takes the most random stuff too - sometimes a pricey dress, sometimes nice leggings, once or twice, she’ll take some socks.

It hasn’t happened for a few months now, but I’m packing to go away today, and have searched for a couple of things that I’ll need, and they’re not in my wardrobe where I’d expect them to be. I’ve texted her and asked her politely to return the things, but I’m getting so so frustrated! I’ve asked her politely but firmly, so so many times, and she always says sorry she won’t do it again, but then she does!!

I really don’t know how to address this. I can’t put a lock on my bedroom door (I have asked but it’s not allowed - fair enough). I feel very stuck now in terms of options. I am planning to move out, but that’s obviously a long term solution (and not happening overnight), and in the short term, is it really too much for her to stop taking my clothes? Do you have any advice for how I can handle this, please?

Just buy a length of chain and a padlock and wrap the chain around the handles in a figure of 8 and apply the padlock. Many hardware stores sell chain by the length but even if you had to get to much the ends could hang down.

There's a cupboard with knobs like those in a facility I use and the padlock and chain works very well.

chain in a figure eight style and a padlock…if you use a combination one you dont have to worry about losing a key

Get a lock for your cupboard. Don’t speak to her about it, just put it on (or door to your room)

www.argos.co.uk/product/6999603 this?

Thanks so much everyone! Have now bought a couple of padlocks with a chain.

So pissed off st my sister - I’ve worked out she’s taken about £150 worth of my clothes and is reluctantly giving it back now in dribs and drabs. I can’t afford to replace any clothes she doesn’t give back, and it’s not my job to replace them anyway, as she’s the one who took them. Any advice on how I can handle this please? The wardrobe padlocks should be coming in the next few days. I’m just wondering how I can stop her from going into my room in the meantime, as obviously I won’t always be there.

OP, you need a patio lock. This one is a bit pricey, but there are other versions....

www.amazon.co.uk/Patlock-Instant-French-Conservatory-Security/dp/B00K1YCAV2/ref=sr_1_22?crid=1XI1ADGS876MI&keywords=double+handle+lock&qid=1666214743&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjAwIiwicXNhIjoiMC4wMCIsInFzcCI6IjAuMDAifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=double+handle%2Caps%2C86&sr=8-22

Pack your good stuff in a suitcase and bring it to work!

I’m going away for a few days tomorrow, while my sister will still be at home. Any ideas how I can make sure she doesn’t get into my room/wardrobe while I’m away, please? (I’ve ordered locks for my wardrobe, but they won’t have arrived by tomorrow). I’m just so sick and tired of her using my room/wardrobe while I’m away. I’m thinking of closing the door and sliding a letter or something under the door at a certain angle, so if it’s moved, I’ll know she’s been in my room. Sorry if that sounds bonkers, I’m just at the end of my rag!!

Lol - meant to say at the end of my tether and losing my rag.

Take one of her favourite tops and photograph yourself wearing it when you're away.

Can you do something blatant and obvious on the outside of your door - put up big 'Keep Out Sis' signs, police tape, sellotape etc. (but nothing that can't be removed or cause damage). Basically make it a big hassle to get in and very obvious if she has. She's only doing this because it's easy and she thinks you are a pushover.

Also either unscrew the doorknob and take it with you or wrap it round with sticky tape. This all sounds really childish, but then so is her behaviour.

I do see your point, but unfortunately I think that won’t stop her (and she doesn’t keep her clothes in a proper wardrobe, just a floor-drove, so I’d have to wade through loads of clothes first to get to anything nice).

Yes good plan! I might just get some sellotape and stick it on the doorframe to reach to the other end, and if it falls down, I’ll know she’s been in my room. Thank you! Im just so frustrated with her. The latest thing is she’s taken some pricey clothes that were a present to me, and is denying all knowledge of taking them. I don’t really know how I can get her to return them - I’ve asked her for the clothes back, or for the money they cost if she doesn’t have them anymore, but she just keeps denying she has them. I know she must do, as they’re not in my room, and I know for a fact I had them.

Temporary solution - stick them in bin bags and hide in multiple places until the locks arrive. Under other housemates beds, in shed in garden, under sofa etc

I'd go for one of those samsonite style airhostess wheelies, put it under the bed with the items she has her eye on locked inside.

It's less of a statement. Putting a lock on your wardrobe door might cause WW3 but she can hardly say, when I was rifling through your stuff I couldn't find your new top, where is it?

Can you go in her room and take all your stuff back ? Have you got a car ? Lock your clothes in there til your locks come.

Sadly I don’t have a car - can possibly ask other housemate if I can temporarily put my stuff in their car though, for a very short while! Thanks!

Is is normal to be in a house share and not have a lock for the door? You are potentially sharing with random strangers who could bring anyone back to the house with them. All your worldly possessions are in you room. Last time I house shared was at uni and we all had locks. Maybe mention to the landlord that people are stealing from your room which is why you want a lock.

I think the only way to teach your sister a lesson is by taking something she absolutely loves, take her favourite thing. I remember once seeing a rehabilitation program for teens who graffiti. Person running it picked a kid wearing a white t shirt and proceeded to sharpie on it whilst he was still wearing it. Asked him how it felt. He was livid.

The U shaped bike lock with a key would prevent that being opened.

Your sister sounds awful.
I realise a bit of that goes on with some teens but certainly not what you describe.

That would sour a lot of relationships as it is so disrespectful.

You certainly won't miss her!

Ruby I don’t actually know what my sister’s favourite clothes are because she just has them all strewn around her bedroom floor without any order at all, and she tends to wear the same sort of outfit most days (not the same clothes, but a variation of the same sort of thing). She tends to buy lots of clothes for fairly low prices, whereas I don’t really have that many clothes, and don’t buy them very often, but when I do buy them, they generally cost more. I think it would be quite mean and petty if I just stole one of her clothes or started wearing it. She would definitely retaliate - once, we’d had an argument, and she broke my glasses afterwards, and another time, she threw my watch out of the window and only told me about it several months later… luckily it still worked and is still usable (no idea how).

She did give me money to pay for new glasses, eventually, but initially denied she had any knowledge of seeing the glasses when I first asked her about them, when I realised they were missing.

booby trap your wardrobe

🤣🤣

I'm deadly serious - cover her in flour or water or something non dangerous but very annoying