Whole class party (few rsvp)

[immigrant002]

My child has been asking for a birthday party he just started reception and since his birthday is so close to the start of school i thought it would be better to invite the whole class and book a hall and an entertainer bouncy castle etc

I gave the cards with my number at the bottom for rsvp . Out of 30 children 6 replied should i assume no one else would be coming ? Surely people do not just show up ? I would always reply to an invitation even if i was not going so am not sure what to make of this

I am also a bit gutted for him he is very shy and he didn't know anyone from before as he was going to a different nursery he mentions a few names of boys he plays with but none of them replied .

I can't get over how rude people are. I think it's since mobile phones became such a big thing. People think they can just ignore other people. They have no manners!

I am so sorry you are going through this OP. That is tough, especially if you are shy, know most people only by sight and it feels as if they all know each other already.

Good suggestions from previous posters so won’t repeat.

Great that you have found a FB group; makes life so much easier!

In my experience, a lot of RSVPs come back within 48 hours of the party. There is usually a flurry of activity. I usually prepare party bags for all who have RSVPed plus roughly 30% of total numbers. I have had people turn up on the day and people who have previously RSVPed yes but turn up without any warning. Or turn up with uninvited siblings. Or tell me about allergies at the party. People seem to be so busy they don’t think ahead which is rude to the host I feel.

As long as your son has fun, that is what matters.

I hope it goes really well! Good luck OP!!

@OldWivesTale This! In spades!! 😡

I sent out invites to my DC nursery, 10% replied and I had double the kids in the hall I’d invited…

I'm one of those people who don't always RSVP. Not because it's intentional and I want to offend people, just because I'm unorganised and slightly inept. I have every intention of doing it but if I don't do it straight away then it would be a day before/on the day text message to see if it's okay to come still. It is rude but unfortunatley I don't even reply to some of my family and friends at the moment before forgetting they've messaged me with life getting in the way. Work a job full time, children to get to breakfast club and after school club, outside school activities, housework, family to see/care for, pee poo and shower for myself, relationship woes to contend with and then climb into bed to do it again the next day. Barely have time to go to the toilet before peeing myself but I'd love to be one of those people who are on it with communicating to other parents. I see it as an achievement if I actually remember theres a party to go to nowadays!

I have also been on the receiving end of this though as I throw my son a party every year and I acknowledge it is bloody annoying. I understand though that people are probably not doing it to be annoying on purpose. I now have a supply of cheap party bags and chuck in some haribo/bubbles etc and a slice of cake so it doesnt matter if more/less turn up because they will get used at some point.

At the end of the day whoever comes your child will love it!

From experience, yes people do just turn up or will text on the day to say they are coming

I had the exact same thing last year! I had to actually ask them in person at drop off/pick up if they would be able to come or not as only 8 people got back me out of 30. Apparently generally only around half of people you invite come plus the one's that come may bring siblings also so I had extra goody bags just in case. This year only sent digital invites so got everyone's number and WhatsApp it to them and then easier to chase them up and remind them. Worked much better this time round.

Pretty much everyone i know'll be doing stuff for bonfire night the 5th & can't be arsed with a kids party too.

Rude though, in our school everyone would reply within about 24 hours

Rookie mistake

I would do stickers and have a word with the TA and ask her to put them in reading diaries - if he gave out the invites are probably all still in the bottom of drawers or book bags !
….. this is how WhatsApp groups get started ! Good luck! x

It is so rude but soooo many people just don’t bother replying and then send their child along… I speak from experience. My youngest had a class party in September. I sent out party invite via year WhatsApp and then followed it up with invitations into class for the people I didn’t have replies from (presuming some of the mums weren’t on the WhatsApp group). Went out and bought wee party gifts for the children to take home at the end - bought 6 more than the replies I’d received - and was 3 short!!! 9 people sent their kid without replying.

More than 6 are definitely planning on coming. I think you need to bite the bullet and ask some people in the playground. It's a good opportunity for you to get to know people too. Why not start with the parents of the children who you child mentions playing with. Bonus if you find out about a class WhatsApp.

Does your class have a class rep at all? If not sure maybe ask the class teacher. Sound it out with a couple of other mums. A lot of reception bags don’t get checked. If there isn’t a WhatsApp group have a quick chat with the teacher and maybe set one up if you can. It’s usual these days for there to be one I think. I would definitely ask around at pick up and drop off time.

Surely the fireworks aren’t til it’s dark though? Parties tend to be morning practice mid afternoon.

People do just show up, and they do bring siblings sometimes, so have enough party bags!

Do you have a class rep? I’d ask them if there’s a WhatsApp group this is helpful in lots of ways. I did the same invited the class to my DS party in a hall with bouncy castle in reception, I invited through the what’s app group & sent a reminder 1 before, I also did a fair bit of reminding at pick ups to mums I hadn’t heard back from. I catered for the no. I had invited most turned up. But kids can have a great time with a small no. of friends, a bouncy castle & running around like wild. I always find the lead up to a party quite nerve racking whether Ive heard back from people or not. You could Invite friends, old nursery friends and family, and remember to breath

I have sent reminders when mine were that little. As a TA I've seen reminders handed out and the teacher actually said to the children they need to make sure they reply. She was a particularly wonderful teacher 🙂. When they get older I tell them to ask their friends if they are coming. That usually prompts a few replies.

Try not to judge or make assumptions about the lack of replies. Life can be a bit like spinning plates at times and I know I've been guilty of dropping the party plates at times. I always feel really bad but it's never intentional. You never know what's going on in people's homes that can make them flaky with stuff like this.

I've often seen parents post on our school FB group asking for more replies. I think that's fine if you have no other way of contacting them.

I'm sure your ds will have a great time even if there are only a handful of guests.

How's it going? Hope you have made some progress!

Got a few more replies 10 in total so not so bad ! I am catering for the 30 and made 30
Gift bags just in case more show up !

People are so rude not replying. I feel bad for you feeling that you have to prepare all those party bags, hopefully it's stuff that can be reused for something else. Hope the party goes really well, however many turn up!!

Stand by the door on Monday with a list and ask each parent that picks up - with a breezy just checking your child can make my son's birthday party next Saturday at xx it is his first party and I want to make sure there is enough food for everyone. Don't point that they are really rude not to reply, just keep it simple. Some people will just forget, others are disorganised. At least you will meet everyone before the party that way 😤

How many did you get in the end? Hope the party went well. It'll be way less stressful next time as you'll pick up their numbers over the year