Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really fed up of my sister’s attitude to my dog?!

60 replies

DogMama93 · 18/10/2022 19:05

Me and my sister got dogs from the same litter of puppies around a year ago. We see each other regularly therefore the dogs see each other regularly and we also take them both to our parents home when we visit etc.

We have completely different views about how we raise our dogs which is absolutely fine, how she raises hers is none of my business yet she makes a point to constantly and openly judge me on how I raise mine.

For example, she asked what food I was changing him onto (butternut box) and when I told her she started going on about how she would never pay prices like that (I get a few discounted boxes which has really helped) and that dogs would be fine on the stuff you can get in the supermarket (which is completely true and nothing wrong with that).

Another example, when we go and visit our parents we are there for a long day so I take his treats along etc, something to keep him chewing and busy - I done a lot of research when he was a baby on what was best and I chose what worked best for us - natural treats such as rabbit ears, chicken feet, pig ears etc because it has natural vitamins and minerals, much lower in fat and has multiple health benefits including great for teeth cleaning! I can pick them up really cheap too, like the chicken feet are 30-40p each. My sister prefers like the pedigree sticks and gravy bone biscuits etc, which my dog has had before, again nothing wrong with them but nutritionally they don’t actually add much benefit so I tend to limit them.

Every time my dog has a treat she tuts and makes the same comments every single time how people are so woke they can’t even feed their dogs supermarket food, how the treats I give him are probably why so many dogs have stomach issues because it’s not good for them etc… my dog has always been absolutely fine on them!

It’s really starting to get on my nerves after nearly a year of this, so when she commented a while back I turned around and told her I was sick of the comments, how I feed my dog these things for the nutritional value and to try and prevent health issues and keep him healthy because of the research I have done and we have moved on from the days of dogs living on scraps!

Despite this she is still carrying on and it’s got to the point where I’m not feeding him directly in front of her or I’ll take an alternative food when it’s a long day which is ridiculous really (!) but I’m just so sick of the disapproving looks and comments all the time!

Any advice?!

OP posts:
hesbeingabitofadick · 18/10/2022 19:10

Just keep telling her to wind her neck in and then change the subject every time she starts on at you.

fortifiedwithtea · 18/10/2022 19:19

Your sister is being a boring arse. We feed our girl boxer butternut box because she has pancreatitis and multiple allergies.

i would say don’t change what you feed your dog on parent visits. Changing diet can give dogs upset stomachs.

how does sister’s pup behave when your pup has such a high value treat? Maybe sister is peeved her pup to looking longingly at those rabbit ears . Jealous so putting you down ?

stick to your guns OP

catchthedog · 18/10/2022 19:22

she sounds jealous that she can't afford the better quality food and treats. you're doing the right thing.

U1sce · 18/10/2022 19:27

Ivevoted YANBU but I think YABU to change anything in front of her, esp as you have researched so know what youre doing is healthy for your dog.

Just keep repeating - not your dog, so not your business anytime she says anything. After a few more times, Id tell her that Im considering keeping distance from her as a result of her ridiculous behaviour. If that doesnt stop her, then follow through and reduce how often you see such an opinionated twonk

Hawkins001 · 18/10/2022 19:29

@DogMama93
do as you think is best, you did your research, and it's each to their own

BeanieTeen · 18/10/2022 19:32

I can see how it’s annoying but I think you just need to grow deaf to it. I’ll be honest though - some of your post does sound a bit overly sanctimonious in terms of dog nutrition. Have you been saying these things to or around your sister? I could understand that in turn she’d find that irritating, maybe she feels judged as much as you do which is why you’re getting a strong reaction from her.

glamourousindierockandroll · 18/10/2022 19:38

It depends how you are as well to be fair. I'll be honest, i'm picking up a similar tone here as those lunchbox threads where someone is humble bragging about their child's organic vegan macrobiotic packed lunch, whilst insisting that they don't judge others for giving their children sandwiches and a frube.

StupidSmallFruit · 18/10/2022 19:43

Honestly, why are you letting this get to you?

You know you’re right, so that’s all that matters. Honestly - it is!

It’s glaring obvious and simple, but the only thing to do is stop caring and ignore her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The only persons letting you get so wound up about this - is you!

StupidSmallFruit · 18/10/2022 19:46

But I must say, I agree with others, that keeping your nutritional preferences to yourself is a good idea.

Don’t explain, don’t justify. You wind each other up, when you do this.

Just get on with it - it really is that simple.

DogMama93 · 18/10/2022 19:46

No I never mention it in front of her or speak to her about it, only mentioned the butternut box when she asked me about it. I know she can be moody about things so I’ve learnt what to say and what not to say around her over the years!

Her dog has sometimes tried to go after my dog’s treats and had his eye on them and I’ve offered to give him one or give her some of ours to see how he likes them… honestly it’s not like I’m flush with cash in the slightest that’s why I buy in bulk and they end up at just a few pounds for a whole month or two’s worth depending on how often they are having them! X

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 18/10/2022 19:47

She sounds annoying but … ignore her? Does it matter? Why does it bother you what she thinks? Do you think your parents agree or something?

DogMama93 · 18/10/2022 19:47

Oh yes and I did mention it when I snapped at her that one time, but before that not at all

OP posts:
MissingNashville · 18/10/2022 20:04

You do sound like you think you’re perfect and I bet that comes across. You both sound as bad and pathetic as each other.

You’ve bought puppies. 🙄 Love them, feed them, give them exercise and stimulation and a safe home. That’s it.

erikbloodaxe · 18/10/2022 20:05

I think this is more about your relationship with her than about your dogs.

How old are you both and do you have children? Young dogs are pups/puppies not babies.

LampHat · 18/10/2022 20:06

Any advice?

Whatever you do, don’t have babies at the same time as each other!

BeanieTeen · 18/10/2022 20:06

Her dog has sometimes tried to go after my dog’s treats and had his eye on them and I’ve offered to give him one or give her some of ours to see how he likes them…

I don’t think that’s great form though. You know the other dog doesn’t get a treat so why create that kind of conflict between them? It’s a valid choice to give your treats to your dog, sure - but it’s also a perfectly valid choice to not offer treats and stick to main meals instead. I’d be irritated by that situation if I was your sister - although I’m not saying her reactions are justified. They are still very young dogs. With older dogs, set in their ways and habits it might not be an issue but when they are barely out of the puppy stage just give the treat out of sight of the other dog. You’ve spent a lot of time reading up on dog nutrition - great - maybe try a dog behaviour book next?

Cw112 · 18/10/2022 20:10

It sounds like she feels inadequate and is over compensating by projecting onto you as a result. I would pick a sentence that shuts the conversation down and just repeat it every time she says something and she will get the message. Could be "what i do with my dog is my business im not having this convo with you again" change subject move on. Rinse repeat.

Beancounter1 · 18/10/2022 20:18

Has she always been bossy and bullying to you? Has she always been jealous?
This is a symptom of your wider relationship. If you don't get on with her, avoid her and visit DP separately.

echt · 18/10/2022 20:18

You are going to end up with a fat dog if you routinely give him treats to “keep him chewing and busy”.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/10/2022 20:30

You both seem very over invested in dog feeding, I do wonder what the pair of you will be like if you have kids..

But yes she is being defensive and boring. I would tell her that she is becoming hard work, and you are going to have to see less of her if she doesn’t stop. And then act on it - if she values your relationship she will then stop.

Brigante9 · 18/10/2022 20:30

I’d be pointing out that many of the popular brands available in the supermarket use carcinogenic preservatives-BHA, BHT. Many contain the minimum meat, some of which may be derivatives and there is often a large amount of cereals. Dogs do not need huge amounts of cereal. Supermarket food features in the lowest ranking foods on here: www.allaboutdogfood.co.uk/the-dog-food-directory

Safer · 18/10/2022 20:35

Stock response - 'oh do shut up. You sound like a broken record'. Or 'get over it'.

StaunchMomma · 18/10/2022 20:44

YANBU to think she's being a knob but YABU to change how you treat your dog in front of her just to avoid the topic.

She sounds like a bit of a div, frankly (in which fresh hell does dog food choice equate to 'wokeness'??!!) but you're letting it get to you way too much.

Tell her to piss off, mind her business and stop going on and on about the same old shit. Then give your dog the biggest selection of dried animal parts ever seen.

rickandmorts · 18/10/2022 20:44

Hilarious that she feeds gravy bones and pedigree shite and thinks your dog will be the one with stomach issues from having natural treats 😂 just ignore her when she starts as you've clearly done your research and she hasn't!

Selttan · 19/10/2022 04:09

I'd hate for your sister to see what I feed my cats. I swear they cost more to feed then I do.

Swipe left for the next trending thread