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Original poster

Stole friends drink?

97 replies

redbaginsign · 18/10/2022 10:05

Me and my friend who I have been friends with for 7 years went out for drinks.
We went to the bar and I ordered a gin and she got a cocktail.
The lady serving had never made a cocktail before so made too much ,she poured friends cocktail out and there was a bit left in other glass and she said to my friend "you can have that too"
So I jokingly said "ooooh well il be having that"
And she snapped back
"No you won't,I've paid for that,why do you think you can steal my drink"
With anger on her face
I just laughed it off but it hurt my feelings a bit.

I was only joking,it was the smallest amount of cocktail.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 18/10/2022 12:09

technically she didn't pay for it, and I'd have been pointing that out - you only pay for what goes into your glass. If the staff/bar want to give you the rest because they miscalculated that's up to them.

But given the cheesecake thing she sounds as though she has boundaries and or issues around sharing food. I'd be aware of that next time, and let her pay for her own drinks every time rather than getting into rounds at all.

Tessasanderson · 18/10/2022 12:16

Friend of 7 years or 7 mins your reply should have been whats your fucking problem?

Dont need any of that nastiness in your life. Blank her

AryaStarkWolf · 18/10/2022 12:19

Brefugee · 18/10/2022 12:09

technically she didn't pay for it, and I'd have been pointing that out - you only pay for what goes into your glass. If the staff/bar want to give you the rest because they miscalculated that's up to them.

But given the cheesecake thing she sounds as though she has boundaries and or issues around sharing food. I'd be aware of that next time, and let her pay for her own drinks every time rather than getting into rounds at all.

actually the the bar tender offered it to her friend not the OP

pinkpotatoez · 18/10/2022 12:20

But was you joking? If she didn't say anything would you have moved the glass towards you? It depends if it came across as a joke or not, maybe you pissed her off during the evening and that tipped her over 😂

Brefugee · 18/10/2022 12:21

it was a joke? have none of you ever done that? really?
I mean if this is an issue for friend, she only needed to say "no I'm having it" and offering her glass up for the top-up

If she has issues around food - she needs to be upfront and say "no, you know i don't share food"

and so on

it's not an unprecedented type of joke, it's quite common to hear this kind of thing in bars (i heard it so much as barstaff). The reaction is weird and points to issues. At least OP knows now.

Brefugee · 18/10/2022 12:22

also not sure about anyone else but if a friend of mine (assume I'm OP) had reacted like that I'd have said "ok there, buddy, are you ok?"

Because i actually talk to my friends.

AryaStarkWolf · 18/10/2022 12:24

Brefugee · 18/10/2022 12:22

also not sure about anyone else but if a friend of mine (assume I'm OP) had reacted like that I'd have said "ok there, buddy, are you ok?"

Because i actually talk to my friends.

Yeah same

diddl · 18/10/2022 12:33

I think that your friend overreacted but I think that you were rude-it wasn't offered to you.

It could that she's pissed off with people assuming that they can have stuff of hers.

Brefugee · 18/10/2022 12:36

have been thinking about this for no particular reason.
Friend did have a bit of what i would consider an overreaction. Having said that i have had what people have called an "overreaction" to sexist jokes that were then passed off as "bantz" or "a joke" which didn't make me feel any different, more annoyed if anything.

OP, perhaps you could talk about this to your friend? at the least stay well away from her food and drink. Maybe she'd welcome talking to someone about this? maybe not?

catandcoffee · 18/10/2022 12:47

Some people are just not sharers... you've just seen a side of her she keeps hidden ....until now.

honeylulu · 18/10/2022 12:50

It does seem an unpleasant overreaction from her given that you've explained you always pay your way.

It might be different if you were prone to being a bit grabby. My mum and sister are both like that. Anything I've got they feel entitled to help themselves to and I have snapped at them in the past (and then get told I'm selfish and nasty). That's just the sort of thing they say as well "ooo I'll have that", as opposed to "would you mind if I..." I wonder if she got gets it a lot from her grabby boyfriend and is now sensitive to those kind of comments.

Bluetree89 · 18/10/2022 13:09

I would just do what other posters have suggested and no more rounds and each buy your own food/drinks obviously she doesn’t share food/drinks.

My SIL is like that with food one Christmas she was given a giant family size share box of chocolates and she sat at the table after a huge Christmas lunch and ate the entire box not offering anyone in the family a single chocolate as they are “her” chocolates. Everyones different I guess when I’m gifted a box of chocolates I open them and place them on the table at family functions or in the work lunch room and would only eat 1 or 2 and don’t view them as mine but to share. My SIL is obese and constantly complaining about her weight and can’t understand why she keeps on putting on weight.

damnyourdogs · 18/10/2022 13:10

@diddl Totally agree with your last sentence. My partner was forever offering other people my stuff... as an example: I'd have a spare mobile phone, a mutual friend would need one, he'd offer my spare without even asking me first! I would then be too embarrassed to say 'no, fuck off, I was going to sell it on eBay, I need the money" in front of said friend.

He did it quite a few times, it was always my fucking stuff he'd offer, in the end I blew up and told him to stop giving my stuff away without my permission!

I definitely think your friend is just tired of people claiming her stuff as theirs.

Brefugee · 18/10/2022 13:12

My SIL is like that with food one Christmas she was given a giant family size share box of chocolates and she sat at the table after a huge Christmas lunch and ate the entire box not offering anyone in the family a single chocolate as they are “her” chocolates

I slightly disagree. If i am given a box of chocolates, they are mine to do with as i please. They were intended for me. I am not going to plonk them down as a free for all and only have one or two. (otoh i am not going to sit and eat my way through them in front of everyone else without at least offering them around. My family would all say either "i'll have one of the ones you don't like, then" or "oh no, they're yours" anyway)

GemmaEdKitten · 18/10/2022 13:25

JorisBonson · 18/10/2022 10:30

Are you writing a really bad novel? This is such a non event.

Omg I thought this. Struggling to see the issue

Original poster
redbaginsign · 18/10/2022 13:59

It's not like I picked up her drink and drank it
It was the dregs in the mixer glass
Like I've explained
In that second I thought oooh wonder what it tasted like
I ordered a gin and if I had liked it probably would of ordered a cocktail next
There was no deep and meaning behind it

OP posts:
YellowTreeHouse · 18/10/2022 14:03

redbaginsign · 18/10/2022 13:59

It's not like I picked up her drink and drank it
It was the dregs in the mixer glass
Like I've explained
In that second I thought oooh wonder what it tasted like
I ordered a gin and if I had liked it probably would of ordered a cocktail next
There was no deep and meaning behind it

So why didn’t you ask nicely? “Oh can I try that? Always wondered what it tasted like!”

You weren’t joking - you were serious and you were rude about it.

diddl · 18/10/2022 14:05

In that second I thought oooh wonder what it tasted like

But then you could have just asked her?

BadNomad · 18/10/2022 14:09

Well, you laughed when she told you she was annoyed about her cheeky fucker boyfriend eating food she bought herself. It sounds like she's fed up with people thinking it's funny and ok to help themselves to her stuff.

newsaint · 18/10/2022 14:10

It sounds like the friend has been over-sensitive to perception that people are "taking her stuff", after her experience with her boyfriend. Perhaps her reaction was exacerbated by alcohol too.

Worth pointing out that she had not, in fact, paid for the extra bit of cocktail - she paid for a standard measure, which she received.

The extra bit was just that, extra - which the server accidentally made ("too much"). So technically she was wrongly to aggressively claim it as her own.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 18/10/2022 14:16

redbaginsign · 18/10/2022 13:59

It's not like I picked up her drink and drank it
It was the dregs in the mixer glass
Like I've explained
In that second I thought oooh wonder what it tasted like
I ordered a gin and if I had liked it probably would of ordered a cocktail next
There was no deep and meaning behind it

So you weren’t joking. You heard there was some going spare and decided that you wanted it rather than her and instead of asking her if she minded you having it you told the bartender that you would take it meaning that your friend would miss out. Given that you don’t acknowledge anything wrong in what you did maybe you have done similar things a little too often and this was the one that caused her to snap.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 18/10/2022 14:18

newsaint · 18/10/2022 14:10

It sounds like the friend has been over-sensitive to perception that people are "taking her stuff", after her experience with her boyfriend. Perhaps her reaction was exacerbated by alcohol too.

Worth pointing out that she had not, in fact, paid for the extra bit of cocktail - she paid for a standard measure, which she received.

The extra bit was just that, extra - which the server accidentally made ("too much"). So technically she was wrongly to aggressively claim it as her own.

But she had already been offered it and the op decided to claim it for herself instead.

AryaStarkWolf · 18/10/2022 14:43

redbaginsign · 18/10/2022 13:59

It's not like I picked up her drink and drank it
It was the dregs in the mixer glass
Like I've explained
In that second I thought oooh wonder what it tasted like
I ordered a gin and if I had liked it probably would of ordered a cocktail next
There was no deep and meaning behind it

So it wasn't a joke, you really were planning on having it 😂

AryaStarkWolf · 18/10/2022 14:44

newsaint · 18/10/2022 14:10

It sounds like the friend has been over-sensitive to perception that people are "taking her stuff", after her experience with her boyfriend. Perhaps her reaction was exacerbated by alcohol too.

Worth pointing out that she had not, in fact, paid for the extra bit of cocktail - she paid for a standard measure, which she received.

The extra bit was just that, extra - which the server accidentally made ("too much"). So technically she was wrongly to aggressively claim it as her own.

No technically she was right to claim it as her own since the bar tender gave it her, it says so in the OP, she specifically gave it to the friend

Topee · 18/10/2022 14:49

AryaStarkWolf · 18/10/2022 10:21

😀

You beat me to it!

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