Stole friends drink?

[redbaginsign]

Me and my friend who I have been friends with for 7 years went out for drinks.
We went to the bar and I ordered a gin and she got a cocktail.
The lady serving had never made a cocktail before so made too much ,she poured friends cocktail out and there was a bit left in other glass and she said to my friend "you can have that too"
So I jokingly said "ooooh well il be having that"
And she snapped back
"No you won't,I've paid for that,why do you think you can steal my drink"
With anger on her face
I just laughed it off but it hurt my feelings a bit.

I was only joking,it was the smallest amount of cocktail.

But OP didnt snap it up or drink it she has having a joke with the server behind the bar about left overs in another glass.

Get new friends OP

You didnt so anything wrong, you were making small talk with the bartender.

Friend really overreacted, sounds like she does have some sort of issue given the cheesecake conversation.

If otherwise a good friend i would avoid any talk of sharing food/drinks. But it is definitely her issue not yours. If you prefer to say something about it or not socialise with her anymore that is perfectly reasonable too.

Because the OP is behaving so grown up with her hurt feelings? And you would leave because of one thing your friend said? Very mature.

I actually think OP was rude. The drink wasn't offered to her, and I can't see the joke in 'I'll have that'. If this was reversed everyone would be saig the OP is a CF.

Sorry but there is no place for ‘anger’ and ‘flying iff the handle’ on a night out. We out up with enough of that nonsense at work. She needs to control herself.

Get a new friend 😊

I've got that as my WhatsApp notification sound

I don't share food, which stems from being the only vegetarian amongst family, etc, and everyone wanting to taste mine, which would leave me with very little. GET YOUR OWN!

Your friend didn't t pay for it. She overreacted. Tell her so.

I think you sounded a bit off tbh, if it was a joke, I can’t see how it was funny, it sounded a bit domineering.

She totally overreacted but I don’t think you were making a joke, it’s sound like you fancied something that had been offered to her already and tried to pitch for it. Her reaction was uncalled for but you were being cheeky and I can see why she was a bit put out.

It had already been offered to the friend so even though she hadn’t paid for her it did belong to her now and the op tried to suggest she should get it instead.

Domineering? Oh, come off it!

Strange reaction. I’d have just laughed at moved the conversation on - so inane that it isn’t worth wasting bandwidth on.

It sounds like everybody takes from your friend and she's finding it hard to assert her boundaries. Apologise, say it was meant as a joke but you now see that its an issue for her...and see what she says.

I had a father and three older brothers who never considered my feelings or needs regarding food. Older males (ie grandparents, uncles) never did. My husband frequently steals my snacks and gloats about finding my new hiding places. I was raised to go without so children can eat which means I have frequently gone to bed hungry despite there being enough food/money. I have only started to find my voice aged 50 and my voice is filled with fifty years of rage.

Its not about the drink. Its about been made to feel unloved and unworthy.

Bloody hell
I said laughing "ooooh il have that and smiling "
I was clearly joking
This is a friend of 7 years
Surely you can joke with a friend

Your friend needs to chill out, Yrnbu

So you'd be just as over dramatic as she was?

Not really, I’d just go home. No need for a scene. I repeat, no dramas or anything that leads to awkwardness allowed on a night out.

So often we snap at people and about things that are nothing to do with the original reason or person, which we have bottled up. It happens and you give it benefit of the doubt until it becomes obvious it's about you.

Sounds like this was about her boyfriend and she's handling it badly, and whether you let it go or not I suppose depends on how much you love her.

You might have thought you were clearly joking and I don’t know you so don’t know whether you normally joke about things like that but it doesn’t sound like a joke to me so it also might not have sounded like a joke to her.

It was a draining of a leftover cocktail in a mixing glass ...
I would say 1 mouthfuls

I think it was a joke but one which some people might think was a half joke, where op joked that she wanted the drink hoping the friend would say "yeah, you have it" (which is what I would have done tbh).

Another bit of speculation on my part is that maybe money is tight for her atm and she can't afford treat things? I'm in this position and it's meant I have had to turn down outings etc. I'm hosting friends instead of a trip out which was going to be too expensive for me. I've had to be quite up front about it as I am broke! Disposable income will be minimal every month for a bit.

She still shouldn't have bitten your head off, but maybe that's why she's getting defensive

But I don't see what the joke is, or why it is funny. Why is telling someone you will have something a joke?

Your friend’s reaction does sound a bit OTT, but also you do sound quite annoying and grabby ( I don’t believe you were joking).

If it was me in your situation, I'd actually be upset by this, tbh. There was no need for her to be aggressive. I'm not sure if I'd say something or not, probably just stay aware of it as her 'thing'.

What would have done if the bartender didn’t get your joke and handed the drink to you rather than your friend?

Ditch her

The way you said it was very rude - taking ownership as though it was yours.

So yeah, I see her point.