Is it okay to go back to work full time? 18m old + nearly 4 yo

[pandarific]

I work four days, and have one day a week solo parenting and my god, it’s so hard. SO hard. I have had: health issues, repeated driving test issues meaning I still haven’t taken my test yet, we are trying to move house, the baby is suddenly a toddler and is becoming intense, the nearly 4yo is equally intense but in a different way, and we have no money.

I am fucking exhausted, and I feel like I am being a terrible parent when I have them on that one day as I am just exhausted and stressed and I take them out for hours to get them out in the world but it’s exhausting. I get snappy and stressed and I don’t think I can do this all through the winter, trying to find cheap indoor activities that aren’t just germ pits, parenting parenting parenting.

I feel like I want to go back to work full time, which would mean 4 days in childcare each (each child is with a grandparent one day individually). I want more money. I want to not feel guilty about all the tv. Or the money spent on that one day. I am very tired.

I know some people will judge me for it, but I just don't think I can do it right now. When the nearly 4yo is in school I’d like to have toddler more again, but both at once just frazzles me.

Sounds like the DC just want to chill out at home with you. Lower your expectations. I agree with PP. You seem to be overthinking it.

Get out play dough at the table and create stuff together. Simple tasks at home. Why complicate it by going to soft play. Five hours 🤣🤣🤣 I avoid these places like the plague. I have four DC and they are taken out in all weathers over the years.

No harm in working full time but you need to definitely address why you want to avoid looking after them on your one day off. Possibly you should speak to your GP.

Just go FT and don’t worry about other people. Look at Newnamenellie. Started off pretending to be reasonable but she couldn’t keep it up.

She’s clearly pissed off for deciding to jack in her career for her kids and DH and having to start again at 48. If she were truly happy with her decisions she wouldn’t be so bitter.

So OP, you do what you feel is right for you and your family.Your kids will be fine in FT childcare.