Only child AIBU?

[Izwizi]

I am 37 and have a nearly 4 year old daughter. Husband is the same age as me. Life is pretty sweet; we have a happy household and we have equal input in raising our daughter, both working full time. We struggled to have DD - she was our 6th attempt at IVF - due to my absolute lack of periods/severe PCOS. Bizarrely, since DD my periods are as regular as clockwork.

We actually both agree that we are happy with one child. And honestly, I don’t think I can be arsed to go through pregnancy and the early days of babyhood now. At 4, DD is extremely portable, I just feel that more of the world opens back up to you when you emerge from those baby/toddler days.

but why do I feel like I’m on the precipice of regretting this one day? I’ll admit that I sometimes go down a rabbit hole which ultimately concludes that only children never feel a sense of belonging and feel generally lonely. I have a great relationship with my brother and I sometimes feel sad that she’ll never experience that thing you have with a sibling that you can’t quite put your finger on.

I don’t really know what the solution is here so I suppose - AIBU to worry that we’re doing her a disservice by not giving her a sibling?!

I’ve had a second at late 30s with a 5 year age gap. I wanted another but every day I think how much easier it was with just one and my baby is a dream 😂

This time around I’m just not into the baby stage at all, it’s been very clear to me I just want a 3 year old too. I also need more than maternity leave, hoping when I go back to work I’ll feel better. Don’t seem to meet many people who want to go back to work....

I think definitely don’t have a baby for your dd. She will be fine either way. My ds was an only till 9 and mostly happy with that, I think it was around 7 he started showing interest in having a sibling. Now he’s 10 he dies still say he’d love a sibling closer in age to play with. Especially on holidays (and if quite like that too although he does often make friends). He doesn’t have the only child supposed issues re: not sharing etc at all. In fact, he’s better at sharing than any of the kids we know who have siblings, probably because he’s thrilled to have kids to share (and play) with! The only way I’ve noticed it is that he’s a bit sensitive to other kids at school whereas kids with siblings seem to deflect little comments without taking them to heart.