Stranger discussing my "pregnancy"

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I am 55 years old, menopausal, 5ft 6" tall and 1 stone overweight.

Whilst walking the dogs this morning with my friend, a woman with a shy dog asked if she could join in our walk for a bit to help build her dog's confidence. We say yes and say a few friendly things to the woman. She then talks about my pregnancy bump.

When I say I'm not pregnant she apologises. AIBU that you should not assume people are pregnant if they are 55 YEARS OLD (I have a bit of grey in my hair) and one stone overweight??? I thought this was incredibly rude and it really hurt my feelings. How can this possibly be a genuine mistake?

Has anyone else had this happen?

Well no not had it happen but can you see it as a compliment, she must have thought you decades younger 😀

I'd be hurt too OP. But turn it on its head, you clearly look way younger than your age. I'm sure she was mortified, I don't know why people mention things like this unless they are 100% sure.

I mean, you shouldn't assume anyone is pregnant unless they explicitly tell you so yes she was rude there and you're not unreasonable to be hurt by it.

Not sure how she was meant to know you are 55 and a stone overweight though? Maybe look at it as a compliment - you must look young enough to be having kids still!

Happened to me many moons ago in an American beauty parlour. I was wearing a loose dress so have to forgive the perpetrator of the query about when my baby was due!
I felt a bit embarrassed but hey ho no harm done!

Think if it as a compliment that she thinks you’re 35

I didn't feel embarrassed but I did feel hurt and annoyed, especially as I was going out of my way to help this woman to build up her dog's confidence (on her request) and be friendly to her.

She clearly didn't set out to hurt you though OP

I'd be upset too. People really shouldn't say anything unless they know for sure.

However, you clearly must look alot younger, which is a nice silver lining. You say she shouldn't known your age as you've got a bit of grey in your hair, but I had to start dying my grey roots since my late 20s, so you're doing pretty well there!

My friend did this recently to a new dog walker. She didn’t mean any harm and it was her way of adding to a conversation! I bet the woman was suitably embarrassed but, as other PPs have said, I’d try and take it as a compliment

*should've

She didn’t do it to be mean for God’s sake. She just made a stupid mistake.

She thought you were younger than you are..with a bit of a belly.. It’s a compliment on a string! I wouldn’t let It get to me too much and would probably just focus on the ‘I look young for my age’ bit rather than the belly!part 😊

I agree with you OP
Under no circumstances should anyone comment on your stomach and just assume you are pregnant
Sure, it might be a nice to know that she thinks you are younger but it would really knock my confidence someone commenting on my belly

She was a stranger trying to find something to talk to you about. Yes, it’s the sort of topic most people know they should avoid in case subject is just fat and not pregnant, and it obviously isn’t nice to hear, but it wasn’t intended hurtfully. You can see you have some stomach fat. Other people can see it. Lick your wounds and just accept she said something daft.

Thanks for all the kind comments that I must look younger but I don't wear make up and do not look 15 years younger than my actual age of 55.

You never ask if a woman is pregnant! I had a massive bump from about 5 months on but even then I wasn't ever asked until I was about 8 months and there was absolutely no denying it.

I'd try not be insulted maybe your coat was sticking out, she will be feeling morto.

Yes it’s rude. I’ve had the same happen before, someone at work rubbed my belly and asked when I was due - I wasn’t 🤣 I was annoyed about it, but more because I thought even if the person in question had thought I looked pregnant, surely it isn’t the done thing to comment unless you know for sure.

Oh OP it feels shit doesn't it?! I've been asked multiple times throughout my late 20s and 30s if I was pregnant when I haven't been. FWIW I'm a size 8-10, BMI on the low end of normal, now late 30s with a good bit of grey hair. But I'm a bit of an apple shape and even when seriously underweight in my teens I had a little paunch. People just carry their weight differently and I don't know what possesses strangers to comment on it. It ssys more about her that about you but I'd have been pissed off too.

She is obviously a bit of an idiot if you really do look 55 so I wouldn't take any notice of what she said. I always told my sons that unless the person mentions it, they shouldn't mention anything about anyone being pregnant till they actually see the head crowning.

It was rude of her, she'd only just met you, doesn't know anything about you, she should have kept her mouth shut.

All these people saying it’s a compliment 🤦🏻 No it isn’t.

A woman (neighbour) assumed I was pregnant a few years ago when I was in my early 40s.
It could have been the tunic I was wearing to be fair.
Even so I didn't take kindly to it. I just responded with "Don't be so ridiculous!"
Turned out she'd told the whole village I was pregnant.

There's a saying re offering your seat on the tube in London that is 'better to make a pregnant woman stand than a fat woman cry'. I kind of get it.

Not saying you are fat, and she was totally unnecessary.