To Ask What Has Prematurely Aged You Recently?

[Skinnermarink]

I’ve just had one of those weeks.

I was hanging out by the mirror earlier to see if a pair of flared tweed trousers from French Connection in 2012 fit (obviously not) and I caught sight of my face, and two white hairs. I am 36 and will never be able to afford any work anyway so I’m not devastated, and I do have quite a good retinol night cream from TK Max when I can be arsed to put it on, but I think it’s this weekend that’s proper knocked it, maybe for good. Here is why.

On Friday morning as I was getting the buggy out of the cupboard in the hallway outside our flat, a mouse leapt up at my face, landed on my shoulder and jumped down to the floor and then I had to sort of bodily block it from running in the flat. I succeeded but my nerves were shot. It probably hitched a ride from thé disgusting nursery buggy shed that has a carpet of the remnants of Organix oatie bars but anyway it had a lovely evening feasting on a lotus biscuit I got when I went to the hairdressers for Christmas and slung in there.

I wasn’t caffeinated at this point.

Friday get the dreaded call from nursery, 1 year old DS has a temperature, I won’t bore you but the upshot was an ear infection, we got medicine, he found a way to store the antibiotic in his cheek when syringed then eject the luminous yellow liquid onto the carpet, his new sleeping bag that I went without getting new contact lenses to buy so he’s warm, (I wear one to eek them out, it’s fine I don’t drive)

This morning he has a rash, blisters on his feet even though he can’t really be arsed to do walking, and the upshot of that is he has hand foot and mouth.

He’s obviously feeling very sorry for himself and his getting a lot of care and cuddles. I’m however stressed at how we have to tag time more time off work when he’s already had a load of sick days off nursery with a shitty bum. work have not been impressed. The laundry is piling up, the shower screen looks shit, we are shitting it about bills etc, I was going to do a nice chilli from the Mary Berry book but really, I’m going to have potato waffles with cheese on top and open a wine.

i would like to caveat that YES I know times are hard (I really do know) but this is supposed to be lighthearted. I know I’m lucky to have a face, even one that is a bit aged. And DS will obviously recover, it’s just one nursery shit illness after another atm (which I also get. I had ulcers over my mouth all last week, and you’d think that would make me not want to be eat and be thin, but did it buggery)

I don’t even like going to work, I’d rather stay at home and make sure DS isn’t constantly an incubus of viral plague, but obviously I do actually have to.

Anyone else had a time recently and wants to vent?

The tories/state of this country.

A birth , a death , a divorce and a global pandemic since Jan 2020
I was still regularly getting ID'd before that but now look every one of my 39 years plus some . Totally haggard to the point I can barely look in the mirror and refuse photographs, not even the most filtery of filters can help

It's been a shitty year. Work lost funding for a project and we had months and months of uncertainty of what was going to happen to jobs. it's worked out ok for me, but does mean I'm taking on more responsibilities (with extra pay, but still extra responsibilities).

At the same time it became apparent that DS was not ok - suspected ASD and we've been caught up in the nightmare of trying to get him help. His meltdowns have led to me going to A&E twice - and spending the night there each time waiting to be seen because the NHS is fucked. He is now school refusing.

And what really pissed me off was being to told to try fucking mindfulness to cope with all this. Though it is admittedly a healthier option than the wine and chocolate that got me through the worst of it - which now means I've put on weight.

And cost of living crap, cutting back on everything, inc showers and being warm. I hate being cold.

I look a mess.

Liz truss

She sounds oddly invested in your family history!

She was my great grans apprentice sixty odd years ago, they were weavers in the linen works. Her husband and my grandad were at school together. I still live in the village I grew up in. Most families here have known each other generations

Pandemic and lockdowns with a teenage son who quite probably has undiagnosed adhd. I developed a frown line during that time. Horrendous anxiety too.

My ex H who periodically rears his head to unleash an outpouring of bile and sly, unfair and untrue accusations/insults and attacks on my character. He's blocked everywhere except one email address and I usually can filter out his BS, but every now and then he gets a few email "punches" in and it makes me anxious and depressed for several days after. Just in the middle of one such attack. It's been 15 years. How do these men sustain the levels of hatred and aggression? Baffling.

DS told me that someone at his work ‘doesn’t look 50 cos he doesn’t have kids’
sums it up I think!

a colleague's long term illness & me having to act up. steep learning curve.
had to have pictures taken for company presentation and discovered that I have jowls

Sudden, early menopause at 32. Its completely wrecked my body. Skin elasticity, metabolism, fat distribution, energy levels, weird acne, bone density... all totally shot to pieces.

At 7 years of a v early rising DS (who's birth resulted in surgical menopause, poor mite) and I look - and feel - about 50.

I can't help but envy youthful, fertile mums of young children sometimes, when for me becoming a mum was synonymous with all this crap. That said, it's quite liberating in other ways.

Parkinson's Disease in my mid-forties.

Being fat. Domestic abuse.

The death of my dd.
I was 38 when she died. Dealing with her horrendous death the police and the court case that followed have aged me.
When I look back at photos I'm unrecognisable.

Covid, contractors is not paying their bills, divorce, homelessness, moving house three times in nine months, relocating, moving into a new house, it falling down around my ears and the insurance company making it very difficult. I am surprised I’m still standing to be honest, completely outside of work, men, friendships.

Health problems, chronic that I will now have for the rest of my life. Fairly sure triggered by very stressful events that all hit at once.

Almost losing my dad. I aged about ten years that evening, and the worry is constant now.

Covid: the months of coughing, stress, and early menopause with the delights of hair loss, etc.

Well this thread has 100% made me count my blessings on a day I felt a bit sorry for myself. I suspect you feel the same @Skinnermarink

i am so sorry for all of you going through illness, grief, unbearable stress. I truly hope things get brighter soon for you.

A sudden unforeseen critical illness during Covid times. Devastating for me and family. I lost 12 kilos in a month, couldn't see anyone while in hospital for weeks, and was frightened as you would be. I feel ravaged by it, but am ok again now. My face shows it. The weight loss has led to a very old looking face now and it bothers me to look in the mirror.

But I count my blessings. I'm still here but it was very tough, like it is for many who have gone through similar.

“Treating” myself to Botox and it having a terrible effect on my already hooded eyelids, to the point where I feel I can’t open my eyes properly. That’s why I’ve always been cynical about it. Just hope it wears off quickly 🙄

Night shifts and disturbed sleep patterns.

Definitely agree with that. Much more anxious and hopeless about the future with these weirdos in charge

@ThePoetsWife hope your doing okay, it's a crappy place to be

Thanks

That proper cheered me up, thanks for that!