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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Ask What Has Prematurely Aged You Recently?

100 replies

Skinnermarink · 16/10/2022 20:48

I’ve just had one of those weeks.

I was hanging out by the mirror earlier to see if a pair of flared tweed trousers from French Connection in 2012 fit (obviously not) and I caught sight of my face, and two white hairs. I am 36 and will never be able to afford any work anyway so I’m not devastated, and I do have quite a good retinol night cream from TK Max when I can be arsed to put it on, but I think it’s this weekend that’s proper knocked it, maybe for good. Here is why.

On Friday morning as I was getting the buggy out of the cupboard in the hallway outside our flat, a mouse leapt up at my face, landed on my shoulder and jumped down to the floor and then I had to sort of bodily block it from running in the flat. I succeeded but my nerves were shot. It probably hitched a ride from thé disgusting nursery buggy shed that has a carpet of the remnants of Organix oatie bars but anyway it had a lovely evening feasting on a lotus biscuit I got when I went to the hairdressers for Christmas and slung in there.

I wasn’t caffeinated at this point.

Friday get the dreaded call from nursery, 1 year old DS has a temperature, I won’t bore you but the upshot was an ear infection, we got medicine, he found a way to store the antibiotic in his cheek when syringed then eject the luminous yellow liquid onto the carpet, his new sleeping bag that I went without getting new contact lenses to buy so he’s warm, (I wear one to eek them out, it’s fine I don’t drive)

This morning he has a rash, blisters on his feet even though he can’t really be arsed to do walking, and the upshot of that is he has hand foot and mouth.

He’s obviously feeling very sorry for himself and his getting a lot of care and cuddles. I’m however stressed at how we have to tag time more time off work when he’s already had a load of sick days off nursery with a shitty bum. work have not been impressed. The laundry is piling up, the shower screen looks shit, we are shitting it about bills etc, I was going to do a nice chilli from the Mary Berry book but really, I’m going to have potato waffles with cheese on top and open a wine.

i would like to caveat that YES I know times are hard (I really do know) but this is supposed to be lighthearted. I know I’m lucky to have a face, even one that is a bit aged. And DS will obviously recover, it’s just one nursery shit illness after another atm (which I also get. I had ulcers over my mouth all last week, and you’d think that would make me not want to be eat and be thin, but did it buggery)

I don’t even like going to work, I’d rather stay at home and make sure DS isn’t constantly an incubus of viral plague, but obviously I do actually have to.

Anyone else had a time recently and wants to vent?

OP posts:
bitchwitch · 17/10/2022 00:07

parasite in my head

peachgreen · 17/10/2022 00:11

My beloved DH dying suddenly halfway through lockdown. Grieving mostly alone through the rest of lockdown with a rambunctious 2 year old to take care of. Losing 6 stone in 18 months. All have been massively ageing, although I’m glad to have lost the weight for DD’s sake if nothing else.

Utterlystill652 · 17/10/2022 00:20

I'm so very sorry for your loss peachgreen 💐

Utterlystill652 · 17/10/2022 00:29

Parenting two teens, one of whom is quite challenging for the past five years.

I honestly feel weary to my very core.

A beginnings of a dodgy hip.

The bereavement of a life long friend who was horribly ill during Covid restrictions.

I never knew it was possible for someone to suffer so much and I can't seem to get over it.

antelopevalley · 17/10/2022 00:29

My parents died in a car crash earlier this year, although one took weeks to die.
My DP had a serious cancer scare but is fine. But it was very stressful.
My DD, DS and DP all have a genetic illness that was undiagnosed when we had DCs. This year DP has got much worse and had to close his business, Some days he struggles to look after himself and needs help. DD is getting symptoms as well and needs a little bit of extra help. But most of all she is terrified as at her age DP had no symptoms at all. DS escapes the house with friends.
I am the one trying to hold it all together. I work full time as well and am clinging on by my fingernails.

Utterlystill652 · 17/10/2022 00:33

Oh antelopevalley I am so very sorry for the loss of your parents, especially in such tragic circumstances and for all of the stress you are going through. It sounds like an enormous load you are carrying 💐

Utterlystill652 · 17/10/2022 00:36

Utterlystill652 · 17/10/2022 00:29

Parenting two teens, one of whom is quite challenging for the past five years.

I honestly feel weary to my very core.

A beginnings of a dodgy hip.

The bereavement of a life long friend who was horribly ill during Covid restrictions.

I never knew it was possible for someone to suffer so much and I can't seem to get over it.

I shouldn't post so late at night. And I haven't been drinking either!

  • one of whom has been quite challenging
  • The beginnings of a dodgy hip
  • The loss of a life long friend (not the bereavement)
antelopevalley · 17/10/2022 00:37

@Utterlystill652 Thank you for your kind words. DP keeps saying the same. I try and snatch joy where I can. But really I just want to crawl into a warm cocoon for months.

blueshoes · 17/10/2022 00:40

My workload at my new job has steadily increased over the last 2 years such that I now routinely sleep 5-6 hours during the work week even whilst working from home. But by the end of the year, I should have finished the major project I have been working on, which includes putting an operational team in place to take over so that I can focus on my othe responsibilities.

I have left my health slide. Can't look great either. But the end is in sight.

Utterlystill652 · 17/10/2022 00:51

blueshoes hope you will have time to focus on yourself and your health for a bit in addition to new responsibilities

antelopevalley I am not surprised, being the linchpin is really tough

Evergreen82738 · 17/10/2022 04:00

I feel bad I enjoyed reading this! I think you're a natural writer! I sympathise, I could relate to much of it!

KangFang · 17/10/2022 04:44

Work.

LaurieFairyCake · 17/10/2022 05:31

I had under 4 hours per night sleep for 3 nights (horrible work stress)

By yesterday morning I looked horrific 😱

HighlandPony · 17/10/2022 05:48

Mr next door neighbour keeps reminding me that I’m older than my great great gran and my great gran when they became grans and I’m only two years away from when my own gran and my mum became grans. Im 36 too.

Yourhamsterisnonbinary · 17/10/2022 05:56

@Phrenologistsfinger I'm sorry. That's bloody terrible. I hope you get what you're hoping for soon.

CheerfulYank · 17/10/2022 05:58

SwedishDeathCleaner · 16/10/2022 22:22

My teenage son

My God, same 😭

Mine isn’t even that bad, when I think about how truly bad he could be (my brother in his teens springs to mind!) but it’s just exhausting. I worry sometimes that he’s going to be another a-hole man in the world, and there are far too many of those as it is.

ZekeZeke · 17/10/2022 06:19

Insomnia.
Caring for elderly MIL

Oblomov22 · 17/10/2022 06:25

Sorry to hear of these, some of them are really sad.
I have put on weight and don't look good. I can't seem to shift it.

FloydWasACat · 17/10/2022 06:30

My husband becoming quadroplegic overnight due to an undiagnosed condition. Kids on general and money stress.

I don't think I have plucked my eyebrows in over a year, I just don't have the energy. Just call me Bernard

Mimilamore · 17/10/2022 06:35

Waking up at 3-4 am everyday and not going back to sleep.
Losing brother and brother in law this year, although elderly and quick.
Husband with more illnesses: conditions than I can count.
Incontinent cats.
Losing 3 stone, great in many ways but skin doesn't fit now.
Leaking roof.
Youngest of 4 going to Australia for 'ever'
Life rushing by but going so slowly.
Feeling that I live life in flashes of happiness.
Nothing compared to many posts here but just feel low...

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 17/10/2022 06:37

I feel like this thread could've been written by me. Except for the mouse. That didn't happen to me. Lots of spiders in the house, though. Oh, and I'm not sure my DS has hand foot mouth, because I thought he already had that 3 weeks ago, so it might actually be chicken pox instead.

Oysterbabe · 17/10/2022 06:46

I remember that stage of parenting very well and it was one of the most stressful periods of my life. The instense guilt of sending my child somewhere which was making them ill. The arguments with DH about who stays off. Luckily it passed quickly. After that first winter they were rarely iill.

Right now it's sciatica. I haven't slept in 2 months because of constant intense pain.

ThePoetsWife · 17/10/2022 06:53

JlL2013 · 16/10/2022 22:36

@ashitghost same, it also gave me the menopause as an extra fuck you.

Ditto

MeanderingGently · 17/10/2022 07:01

The bloody stupid government rules which mean I must work until I am 66 before I can draw my state pension.
Means I stagger from day to day in a hospitality job which pulls every muscle in my body, my elderly body cannot deal with being on my feet for 7 hours a day non-stop, carrying heavy objects, making dozens of beds.....
I don't even get a decent wage for it and no, there are no other jobs around in this rural area....

I now have serious back problems, a prolapse and arthritis in both hips and some days I can hardly walk. But I still have 2 years to go.

What fucking idiot decided we could all work longer these days?? Bastards!

Pippa12 · 17/10/2022 07:07

Quite honestly… moving house! Not the moving, but micromanaging solicitors who appear to do very little and not very often, are rude and quite honestly couldn’t lie straight in bed!