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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Ask What Has Prematurely Aged You Recently?

100 replies

Skinnermarink · 16/10/2022 20:48

I’ve just had one of those weeks.

I was hanging out by the mirror earlier to see if a pair of flared tweed trousers from French Connection in 2012 fit (obviously not) and I caught sight of my face, and two white hairs. I am 36 and will never be able to afford any work anyway so I’m not devastated, and I do have quite a good retinol night cream from TK Max when I can be arsed to put it on, but I think it’s this weekend that’s proper knocked it, maybe for good. Here is why.

On Friday morning as I was getting the buggy out of the cupboard in the hallway outside our flat, a mouse leapt up at my face, landed on my shoulder and jumped down to the floor and then I had to sort of bodily block it from running in the flat. I succeeded but my nerves were shot. It probably hitched a ride from thé disgusting nursery buggy shed that has a carpet of the remnants of Organix oatie bars but anyway it had a lovely evening feasting on a lotus biscuit I got when I went to the hairdressers for Christmas and slung in there.

I wasn’t caffeinated at this point.

Friday get the dreaded call from nursery, 1 year old DS has a temperature, I won’t bore you but the upshot was an ear infection, we got medicine, he found a way to store the antibiotic in his cheek when syringed then eject the luminous yellow liquid onto the carpet, his new sleeping bag that I went without getting new contact lenses to buy so he’s warm, (I wear one to eek them out, it’s fine I don’t drive)

This morning he has a rash, blisters on his feet even though he can’t really be arsed to do walking, and the upshot of that is he has hand foot and mouth.

He’s obviously feeling very sorry for himself and his getting a lot of care and cuddles. I’m however stressed at how we have to tag time more time off work when he’s already had a load of sick days off nursery with a shitty bum. work have not been impressed. The laundry is piling up, the shower screen looks shit, we are shitting it about bills etc, I was going to do a nice chilli from the Mary Berry book but really, I’m going to have potato waffles with cheese on top and open a wine.

i would like to caveat that YES I know times are hard (I really do know) but this is supposed to be lighthearted. I know I’m lucky to have a face, even one that is a bit aged. And DS will obviously recover, it’s just one nursery shit illness after another atm (which I also get. I had ulcers over my mouth all last week, and you’d think that would make me not want to be eat and be thin, but did it buggery)

I don’t even like going to work, I’d rather stay at home and make sure DS isn’t constantly an incubus of viral plague, but obviously I do actually have to.

Anyone else had a time recently and wants to vent?

OP posts:
PlacematsandCoasters · 17/10/2022 07:09

Stress of work.

adult children who don’t have enough money to feed their children and heat the house despite working full time. So I’m stressed about topping them up and the grandchildren going without.

mdh2020 · 17/10/2022 07:26

apart from the endless caring , having my gall bladder removed and then a hernia repaired , all within two weeks.

pompomdaisy · 17/10/2022 07:50

Losing my brother to suicide a year and a half ago. Plus long covid.

Pung · 17/10/2022 08:00

This thread is a hymn to resilience. You are all amazing 💐

Skinnermarink · 17/10/2022 08:09

Oh blimey.

I thought it was going to be stories of freezers defrosting or losing a Guinea pig down the back of the shed. I know there are huge massive things that cause premature ageing too. Mine is more premature ageing by a hundred tiny cuts at the moment.

I am very sorry for all the losses, illnesses etc.

OP posts:
TightDiamondShoes · 17/10/2022 08:15

I’m 50, great skin, no greys.

then you clock my walking stick - cheers MS.

Skinnermarink · 17/10/2022 08:15

PlacematsandCoasters · 17/10/2022 07:09

Stress of work.

adult children who don’t have enough money to feed their children and heat the house despite working full time. So I’m stressed about topping them up and the grandchildren going without.

I know my parents worry about this too (or at least my dad does, my mum probably thinks it’ll be romantic to go back to basics and eat bean stew by candlelight)

We do ok but I work 37 hours squished into 3.5 days to save nursery fees and be with DS, but that is proper knackering and involves looooooong days with a 5am start.

OP posts:
DoubleDinnurs · 17/10/2022 08:21

Kids, full time work since 9months for both of them, some with loooong condensed shifts. Neither of them slept well (thanks breastfeeding). Living in a cramped flat with them determined to stain and mess everything up every five mins. One clearly has SEN but had so many appointments and still do not know what is going on with him. Work not being happy about this. The constant bugs you get with kids and never quite feeling 100% in the winter. Lack of time to exercise or even attempt to try and look my age. I am probably perimenopausal too.

The worst thing is working this hard for fuck all gain. All I want is to be able to buy a house for a secure future and every month it seems far less likely. I have given up and am actually hoping I die younger in my 60's so I don't have to worry about being broke in old age. At this rate with the stress I'm under it will be likely. I think the increasing inequality in this country is ageing a lot of us.

Worktop · 17/10/2022 08:28

Moving 4 times in the past 5 years (about to move again for the LAST time). Renovating three properties.

Caring for DH's grandad, then organising the funeral.

Several surgeries for medical issues.

Supporting DH who developed depression and anxiety the past 2 years. He's doing amazingly now.

I'm definitely not young anymore...

JustFeckIt · 17/10/2022 08:40

DS3 (12) being diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes has aged me 10 years in the last two months I think.

Also menopause, DS2 (20 with ASD and a learning disability) being without an education or training provision for over a year and having to take the Local Authority to court, and going back to work in a job that has turned out to be a nightmare with a horrible slacker of a colleague has added some grey hairs too!

Mummyoflabradors · 17/10/2022 08:45

My lovely little boy who grew to be an adult with mental health and alcohol problems😢

mycatisannoying · 17/10/2022 08:49

People I know without kids (not me) tend to look younger ...

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 17/10/2022 08:50

thewaitislong · 16/10/2022 22:49

Adult siblings who (in their 40s) still keep fighting and being jerks also pulling me into it

Oh lord!!! I have exactly the same!! Why the fuckity fuck can't they leave me out of it?!

In relation to the question about what aged you? I was in a life changing car accident at 38, aged about 20 years from that. Kicked off perimenopause early and I just generally feel in my bones as if I've lived 100 years.

On a lighter note, my son in his wheelchair is a complete knob! He loves downhills and speed and has given me more gray hairs (and heart attacks) than I care to remember 😂

MistyRock · 17/10/2022 09:35

Evergreen82738 · 17/10/2022 04:00

I feel bad I enjoyed reading this! I think you're a natural writer! I sympathise, I could relate to much of it!

I agree, the Op has a lovely way with words and sounds like someone who is really enjoyable company.

Fridaysgirl17 · 17/10/2022 09:43

Being pregnant,high risk during a pandemic (I was pregnant before it started),with a toddler who was considered high risk,a mother fighting cancer & eventually losing her battle a year ago,a cheating partner who has since got the OW pregnant twice,while also have 2 other babies with other women 🙄,he wasn't the prince I thought 🤣. It's been a tough few years & I feel I've aged a decade 🥴, but I also feel as if I'm finding my stride now so silver linings and such 😀

MayMoveMayNot · 17/10/2022 09:55

Cancer

Lazyladydaisy · 17/10/2022 10:03

I think I've aged 10 years in the last 10 months. I've lost my Grandad, my Dad, a cat and a guinea pig. My poor kids (or me) can't take any more. 2022 can fuck right off.
On a positive note...Nip&Fab no needle fix products work quite well...I highly recommend!

antelopevalley · 17/10/2022 10:22

The idiots who decided are people who work in professional office jobs that have not ruined their bodies, so go out running in their sixties and declare 66 is not old.

33goingon64 · 17/10/2022 10:22

Gosh some of these are so sad. I came on to moan and now feel lucky. Had a shit 12 months watching my DM die. House is upside down due to building work which has taken twice as long as predicted. Recovering from Covid, which now you mention it has physically aged me. My face is crumbling off (dry skin) and got TWO massive cold sores. But I still consider myself very lucky really.

WizardOfUK · 17/10/2022 10:27

Children. I went from looking like a healthy, well put together individual to one who looked haggard, knackered, unhealthy and at least 19 years older, all in the space of a year

StridTheKiller · 17/10/2022 10:32

Yet your sense of humour remains intact. You are far richer than you know OP.

Skinnermarink · 17/10/2022 10:32

I think I need to be grateful things aren’t much worse. I sort of have my health (beyond constant nursery illnesses anyway)

And the white hairs were actually in my hair rather than on my face. I thought you were supposed to go grey first, but I’ve skipped straight to white.

OP posts:
HotelNotel · 17/10/2022 10:58

Finding out the lovely 'man' I was seeing was actually a liar with a LT girlfriend. Then the subsequent increased drinking and newly-restarted smoking as I try and drag myself back to a positive place again.

If such a place exists, when you're in your mid-30s with no children, a dead-end job with the knowledge that there really are no nice men out there.

Elvira2000 · 17/10/2022 11:53

Work

Mommabear20 · 17/10/2022 11:58

This pregnancy has definitely aged me (physically) far more than the other two ever did!