To ask who's in the wrong here?

[fbrockel]

I'm going to remain anonymous so it's unbiased.

A&B are teenagers (one is 18, other is slightly younger), they're in a relationship. Today, they went to a house of relative for person A, other family members were there aswell including person A’s parents.

A&B were being touchy (as I suppose teenagers are), one of them then sat on the others lap, briefly.

Person C, told them to keep their hands to themselves and to stop being so touchy infront of everyone as no one wants to see that or know about their sex life. Person D (one of person A’s parents) thought person C was BU, and accused them of being homophobic as they thought person A&B weren't doing anything wrong, Person C didn't stand down and was adamant person A&B were in the wrong, and they weren't being homophobic.

Who was in the wrong?

A, B and D.

Person C was absolutely right. The sexual preference of the teens is irrelevant. Keep it to yourselves and no in a family setting. Don't care what sex attraction you are or have.

A and B and D were wrong

agree with above.

Surely it would only be homophobic if persons E&F were doing the same and not told to stop (being a straight couple)

I'm guessing the "touchy feely" going on was actually quite obvious and annoying.

Depends on the level of touchy!

I've sat on DHs knee when there weren't enough seats before at family gatherings. It's a non-issue to us. I've kissed him goodbye and will rub his leg or arm or cuddle into him without giving it a second thought.

If they were snogging, being sexually touchy, grinding etc then definitely A, B and D.

If they were just normal couple touchy then C.

Did C have an issue with them specifically because they're a same sex couple or any forms of PDA from anyone?

If you are D you need to apologise to C.

A, B & D.

A B and D are bu

Surely it depends on how touchy feely they were? Holding hands - C is unreasonable, spending the whole time with their tongues down each others throats - A, B & D were unreasonable.

No one needs to see that, especially at a family do. Gay or straight.

I'm with C.

If they were just normal couple touchy then C.

What's 'normal couple touchy' to you?

Couples (teenagers or not) can keep their hands off each other and stay off each other's laps for a few hours while visiting family, surely?

It's rude to make people feel awkward with PDAs.

Nobody should be getting handsy in front of people.
The kids needed telling to knock it off.

Unless you are going to dripfeed that c happily watches straight couples play tonsil hockey in the living room I'm voting a, b and d

A, B and D were wrong. No one wants to see more than a hug or a peck on the lips in public.

Just to caveat my response, my whole family are all very tactile with their partners in the majority of settings (probably not at a bank appointment iyswim)

A, B and D are all way over the top.

In what world is it ok to be touchy freely in front of relatives? Person C was correct.

On the surface of it.

A,B,D

Nothing more uncomfortable trying to have a conversation when someone who is sat on someone's knee or being all touchy feely

Very obviously A and B were being deeply inappropriate.

I remember supervising some kids backstage at a concert when two of the older girls decided to have a snogging session. I was very relieved when an openly gay member of staff came back into the room and could deal with it; if she told them to stop, it would be clear that it was a case of whether it was an appropriate time and place, not homophobia.

Overt public displays of affection between any mix of anyone is cringey.

If it was C's house, they had final say, abide or leave.

Agree that A & B should've toned it down in a family setting. Being gay or straight is irrelevant.

Why have you automatically thought it was a homophobic issue? Has anyone in the family ever expressed negative comments about their sexuality/relationship before? If not, think you're jumping through gun a little I would feel really uncomfortable if any couple of any sexuality, gender or age were being 'over friendly' in company like that.

I agree it depends what's meant by 'touchy' - holding hands/arm round each other is surely not going to make people uncomfortable. Snogging/feeling each other up clearly unreasonable.

I don't think it's homophobic if person c would have said that to a hetero couple because they were uncomfortable with public displays of affection in general. As a youth worker I always think they're like wee koalas at that age wrapped up into each other and while it's not problematic it can make others feel like a 3rd wheel regardless of sexuality or gender so we have a no pda agreement in our youth group that stands for everyone. I don't think person c calling them out in the way that they did was fair as it probably was quite embarrassing for them but as a parent I'd also probably have had a quiet word and said that they just need to be careful with the pdas because some people get awkward with that, not because of their sexuality but just because it can appear exclusive to others and that's impolite when you're visiting. I am however wondering if person d has had suspicions that person c is homophobic before now and this has just been the last straw in which case I'd probably have done the same to back my kid up. If I didn't think they were generally homophobic I'd probably have been inclined to say awk don't embarrass them now. Or something to that effect instead.