DD wants to spend £800 on concert ticket

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DD (17) has just inherited £1800 from the sale of her grandfathers car who recently passed away.
She is autistic, and has special interests which change after around a year or so.

At the moment it's Taylor Swift, which is the concert she wants to buy a ticket for next year. She reckons it will cost £800 for a 'pit' ticket, where you will (might) be close to the stage.

In a few years, she will need to buy a car, and also needs a laptop.

How would you feel if this was you?
She is quite right when she says it's her money, she can spend it how she likes, but I think it is such a waste of a lot of money.
AIBU?

Tell her to get a Glastonbury ticket instead for about £300. She's highly rumoured to be headlining next year. I mean getting a G ticket is like rocking horse poo but if she does get one it's less than half the price and she can see several hundred other bands and hopefully find a better artist than Taylor Swift to listen to.

Let her be young. She's got the rest of her life to be responsible and save

I though initially ‘OMG ridiculous, don’t let her do it!!!’.

but… actually, the only things I regret in life are the things I didn’t do. I still remember not travelling across America with my uni mates because I wanted to save for a car! Absolutely devastated now, what an experience and I’ll never get the chance to do it again! Kids and life gets in the way. Same principle here, let her have fun whilst she can, whilst she has no kids, no bills and money in the bank! Let her do it !

I didn't actually answer the OPs question in my earlier post so, I would say if it's her first ever concert and is someone she really loves then it will be money spent (although it's a lot) on an experience she will never forget. DD was a huge fan of Katy Perry when she was a younger teen so her first concert was a ticket to see Katy Perry and she was blown away by the whole experience. However, I do also have a DS with ASD and he would not have been streetwise enough at 17 to be able to go unaccompanied. Will your DD be OK with the whole getting there and back, the queuing, security checks, crowds etc. or will she need someone to go with her and you actually going to need two tickets?!!

I’m a big concert/music fan and some of my fondest memories are seeing my favourite musicians live over the years. For people who aren’t into music it’s difficult for them to “get it”

I’m bringing my DS to his first concert next month and have paid a lot of money for the tickets. I’m so looking forward to sharing this with him.

While I don’t think the ticket will cost that much (I’ve never paid anything like that for a ticket) and if you could afford it, I would go with her if I were you and enjoy the experience together. Life is for living :)

My young adult/teen kids have spent lots of money on tickets. The money was theirs that they earned. Personally, I think life is short and it’s true that certain artists that you love don’t come around very often. This is a memory she will cherish all her life. Also if she buys early she may get a cheaper deal. I think if she spends this and saves the rest it’s OK, but make it clear to her, maybe by putting in writing that it means she will have to work many hours to make up the money lost for other big tickets items she wants. I have also contributed some money to an expensive ticket as a birthday gift.

My daughter spent $500 on a BTS ticket for a concert in LA (we live in the USA) she and her friends drove 12 hrs and about 8 of them bunked in one hotel room. She absolutely loved it; but after doing that very last minute she now plans way ahead to get the best deal on cheaper tickets, flights and accommodation with friends. They flew out to NYC to see another K-Pop band earlier this year. She was 18 or 19 at the time. It’s her money.

My girls (17 & 20) saw Michael Buble and were in the pit, he lent down and took selfies with them.

We had Reputation tickets for Wembley. They were £95, for seats about two-thirds back purchased direct (not resale).

The pit tickets were £550+ if I remember correctly.

So £800 does not sound out of the ball park.

While I may have successfully taught financial responsibility there are other important things I regret not teaching early enough (and now they won't listen).

They do seem to be slowly learning (albeit through suffering through mistakes rather than learning from others).

How is it disrespectful to her grandfather??

I have ADHD and I have “wasted” 1000’s over the years. Experiences, big ticket items etc. Do I regret it? No not really. Occasionally I will wistfully think oh I could have £££ now if I hadn’t done xyz. But it’s not regret. I have a ton of great memories and items I bought I wanted/enjoyed at the time. Life is for living and enjoying. Is it always the “sensible” choice, probably not. I’m probably not an example most people would aspire to. But I’ve had a lot of fun! I truly don’t see a day I will ever regret it. People who are frugal and sensible all their lives don’t suddenly change because they’ve managed to save a couple of hundred k. They will still be sensible and “safe”. So what’s the point? Many will disagree with me I’m sure, but it’s just how I’m wired. I see my sensible friends “scared” to really spend on anything because that’s how they’re wired.

She has a whole lifetime to “earn” back that £800. Plus she’s 17 and it’s her inheritance. I don’t see how you can dictate anything, it’s up to her. Let her do it. She will either think it’s been totally worth it, in which case great, good for her. She has that memory forever. Or she will regret it and be more sensible next time. Which would also benefit her. She actually can’t lose.

It makes me think of that Handbags and Gladrags song.
If all goes well, it could be the best night of her life. If it doesn't, she could be ill and miss the concert,!struggle going alone, or not like TS by the time it comes around. It's a hard decision

I wouldn't be engaging in any debate right now over what is for now a hypothetical concert, and you don't know any details of pricing etc should this go ahead (am sure it will, but not yet).

I'd be inclined to let her. I took my daughters years back to see TS, before she was so well known, and they loved it, and her, and still do (me, not quite so much, but however!!). She came off the stage and into the audience. I realised quickly what was happening and got them to the front and they were ecstatic to be able to touch her hands!

I don't think it will be as expensive as that - and she would need to be prepared for disappointment as any TS concerts will sell out fast!

I’m assuming that at 17, she doesn’t have a credit card to book with? Just refuse to let her use yours.

Oh my god,are you me! I have a similarly aged ADHD/autistic dd who’s only obsession in life is Taylor.
we have talked constantly about when she would be touring etc for the last few years and we will try our hardest to get tickets. Yes it’s a massive waste of money but I am also a Swiftie and in a fortunate position that we can afford it.
I guess we wait for tix to be released.

@C4tintherug
Lol! Do you want to take my DD with you?!!

Some of my bigger regrets are the times I chose to do something (I thought was) grown up and sensible with my money rather than choosing an experience like a concert. I STILL regret not finding the time and money 30 years ago to go see certain bands.

a car or a laptop is just stuff, it’ll need replacing. Then it’s gone. I always feel like an inheritance in the lower 4 figures is just made to be blown on the kind of experience you wouldn’t ordinarily be able to afford. Be it vip tickets to see a favourite artist, or learning to scuba dive. The memories will last a lifetime.

My cousin and I were having this conversation very recently on our way to a gig of a band we both saw in our youth. She drove a variety of very shitty cars as she prioritied her concert tickets and we had a great conversation recalling many of them. She's 50 and regrets none of it.

Sure she should get a ticket.
It'll be a memorable experience.

I have no regrets seeing Led Zeppelin, Journey, Rolling Stones, etc.

I think this is a lesson DD has to learn. You can suggest a laptop.... but it's her choice.

I can see where you're coming from, it is a waste of money.
However, it's her money, not yours - money shouldn't be given with strings attached

Life experience

she may or may not regret in the future. Time will tell. It’s true she will have to get a job to fund the car and laptop.

I imagine that we'll go to the next tour if we can get tickets - possibly not at £800 a pop, though!

We had tickets for the cancelled Hyde Park thing in 2020, too.

I remember all the big gigs I've been to... I can't say my first car would have been any better - or bought any sooner - had I not gone to any of them.

I think just relax a little - a tour hasn’t even been announced, ticket prices would be way under that estimate, and she may have lost interest by the time Swift’s next tour is announced. If she is still keen then, I would sit online with her when tickets drop to make sure you get the best legit option for her, it would be a very special event to go to for a teen.

I would make sure she’s talking about a hypothetical tour pricing though - that some acquaintance hasn’t heard about the windfall, seen she’s vulnerable and gotten in her ear about some special £800 concert tickets they can get her. Assuming you’re holding her balance for her?

I would expect closer to £300 (unless shes buying it from another fan and they are upping the price). And I would say ok. Its her money and shes making a memory with it. Soon she will be a grown up and have to spend her money on food and electricity and boring shit. Surely her grandfather would want her to live and do something fun.

Tell her to invest the money and hopefully it will grow a bit and then she can buy the concert tickets and a car.

You only live once, yes it's a lot of money for a concert ticket but it's not a lifesaving amount of money. She may live to regret it in which case it's a learning experience. She may not ever regret it, in which case -- great!!!