DD wants to spend £800 on concert ticket

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DD (17) has just inherited £1800 from the sale of her grandfathers car who recently passed away.
She is autistic, and has special interests which change after around a year or so.

At the moment it's Taylor Swift, which is the concert she wants to buy a ticket for next year. She reckons it will cost £800 for a 'pit' ticket, where you will (might) be close to the stage.

In a few years, she will need to buy a car, and also needs a laptop.

How would you feel if this was you?
She is quite right when she says it's her money, she can spend it how she likes, but I think it is such a waste of a lot of money.
AIBU?

Whoops, Taylor not Tahoe!

How is this disrespectful to spend money on an amazing experience? Is there only one way to spend money in a 'respectful' way?

@MsTSwift I was literally thinking where's the poster with the Swift username 😂 I used to amuse myself thinking you were Taylor lurking on Mumsnet in plain sight 😂

It's not a waste of money if it's not a waste to her.

There are loads of things others spend loads on that I would consider a waste of my money. So I don't buy designer clothes or bags or insanely expensive make up. Is it a waste of their money for others to buy those things? No. Because they have value to them.

Indeed what a horrible suggestion.

I am actually and whatever she pays - it’s worth it 😁

Find out the date and time the tickets will be officially released and but them from the official ticket.seller (axs, Ticketmaster, etc). Don't buy them 2nd hand from viagogo or StubHub that's when you'll pay silly prices. If you know the date and time they'll be released and get on the website, logged.in and ready to go beforehand, you'll possibly get.some at face value.

Assuming she has capacity ,then it's her money to spend as she wishes really, .

I am autistic, die hard Taylor Swift fan who has seen her from the golden circle in Red…. 😍

Your daughter has massively overinflated prices. Taylor herself will not want her young fans spending £800 per ticket, this is only from scroungey resale sites. They will be £100-£200 I think depending on how good the seats are. The hard part will be getting hold of them.

And I am autistic and confirm that yes, some noises are too loud etc etc but when it’s your ultimate special interest, it could be any volume. It will be more about the type of sound, rather than just the volume.

Hmm, I have a 10yo DD with ASD and she has no concept of money either - I know she is younger - and would happily spend everything she has on eg a soft toy, Roblox. So far (when we have let her) she has been happy with her choice and having to start from nothing again. Obviously she's a lot younger but I worry about her being reckless with money.

In your case, I do think 17 is young to be handed that amount of money and many others her age would want to do something fun with it. I actually think spending a chunk of the money on an experience like a concert is not the worst thing - it's an opportunity she never thought she'd have, she will likely love it, and it is likely to be cheaper than £800 anyway. And honestly £800 can be frittered in bits and pieces which I think is worse!

If Taylor is her special interest then this will be the biggest thing in the world for her. I would let her do it.
I assume her grandad would want her to enjoy her money.

Have a look at prices , where is she playing if uk look on ticket master .

If she can suddenly "cope" then there is nothing "wrong" with her!
That amount of money would more than buy a subscription to a whole season of the Vienna Philharmonic.
If a ticket to see a low grade singer costs that much, I would advise not to go. Pick it up on Youtube for a lot less.

id let her crack on with the concert. If she still really wants to go by the time the tickets are released.

There is always more time to save for laptops and cars, there are only a handful of truly amazing moments in our life. Who is to say this wouldn’t be one of hers?

Sorry but I always lead with the thought of if I was to get hit by a bus next week will I have been more happy I did X or did Y.

Im sure I’d be happier having the most amazing concert experience next to my favourite pop star and icon than a frigging laptop (of which you can buy second hand for a couple hundred anyway)

Actually I have raised an autistic child so I know first hand how it can be.

If you don't teach children essential life skills/views before they are 17 then you should not be surprised when they don't take your advice at 17.

And that's even more relevant when dealing with autistic children.

I would say it's not available till 18 and that it's earmarked for a car gig her.

Well all I can say 220go is yours must be different to mine. My daughter from the age of 2 has been violently (in some cases literally) resistant to any advice at all. It's just the way it is. She has had an allowance from the age of 8 which she literally spends within minutes of getting, despite all of the advice and financial guidance she has had. Great that you could teach your autistic child, I couldn't teach mine 😪

So you’d lie to her. Excellent parenting.

Ticketmaster dynamic pricing sucks though. Tickets for the pit for the Blink 182 tour in Toronto reached $1000 CAD. That’s £640.

Complete waste of money. I wouldn’t give $1 for a Taylor Swift ticket. Maybe a much less expensive ticket, or wait and see how she feels after some time thinking it over, if this is a passing whim.

I think you’re right to counsel her on how to wisely spend/save her money.

Absolutely agree. £1800 isn't a huge amount. It's not big enough to be a deposit on a house/ fund university or anything big.

I'd spend it on something frivolous but which I really wanted.

If this is true about the prices, then look into it and your daughter may be able to go without wasting so much money.

I don’t see what all the uproar is about. £800 is expensive I agree, based off Harry styles ticket prices I reckon they’ll be £350ish. However it’s a once in a lifetime experience and if it’s something she completely loves it’s 100% worth it. She can always get a job to afford a laptop and a car like everyone else does. Life is all about those unforgettable memories and it’s amazing that she’s found something she loves so much.

My dd is a year older and Autsitic, she’s just moved out (to go to uni) and can now spend money on all sorts of crap, last week she ordered herself 2 things that I would have not allowed her too whist she lived at home 🤣, she has a interested that has lasted many years and she has spent a lot of money on.

At the end of the day it’s her money, left to her by her grandad who would have wanted her to do something fun with. If she wants to spend it in a concert ticket then it’s her choice. It’s not really any different than spending it on a holiday.

She is autistic so although it must be tough to explain the thought process you have and get her to think in the same way about this, I do think it’s your duty as a non autistic adult & parent to put your foot down and just say no, it’s unreasonable. It’s not a good use of £800 at all!