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Original poster

Was I rude/wrong in this situation?

457 replies

clankist · 16/10/2022 16:20

Was out walking my two seven month chihuahuas today. I have treated them like dogs from day one and they are very well trained. They walk off lead absolutely fine and don't bother other dogs at all, however if a dog comes running over to them they will bolt.

Today I was walking them off lead and there were two big golden retriever with two women who were chatting. We were quite a distance away but one of the retrievers started barking and running towards me/my dogs. I put my hand out in a 'stop' motion as it got closer. I said, 'stop' and when that didn't work I said 'no'. That didn't work either and my dogs started to run away.

I moved away from the dogs and began to call for my dogs but the retriever kept following me so my dogs were standing watching at a distance but wouldn't come over due to the dog being next to me. I shouted across to the woman, 'can you please get your dog?' No reply and she continued talking.

I moved away again, calling my dogs and the dog followed me again. I looked at the lady and shouted, 'can you get your dog?' She didn't move.

I moved away again and the dog followed once again, at this point I was exasperated and said a little sternly, 'will You move your dog!?'

She came over and said, 'my dog isn't anywhere near your dogs' rudely.

I said, 'yeah because they ran away terrified due to your dog coming up to them. If your dog is off lead it shouldn't be running up to my dogs'

She went to say something but I just held up my hand and said, 'thank you'.

I then continued my walk with my dogs and the lady met another dog walker who then started pointing to me and shaking their head.

Did I do the right thing to deal with this situation or was I too sensitive? I just think you shouldn't have your dog off the lead unless you know they will not approach any other dogs without permission.

OP posts:
curlymom · 16/10/2022 17:49

I have two dogs too so I know it can be difficult. We have had loads of training but every day can hold a challenge. I think the problem might be that your dogs didn’t stay close to you i this situation. Our dogs are generally off lead but if we see any kind of possible problem we call them and they come to us and stay very close. the safe place has got to be with you. This makes it easier because if a dog is running this way, the owner is far more worried about it approaching us. I think with a bit of training, you can really change this. Freshly cooked chicken required
in terms of the lady speaking to you, I probably would have let her finish what she was saying. I mean, it may have been leading to an apology. Maybe she has little recall problems too.
inthink your dogs sound ok off lead, they didn’t approach anyone and are clearly lovely. But just for your peace of mind I would def train them to stay in your zone. X

interviewdramaqueen · 16/10/2022 17:50

If your dogs are off lead then social etiquette is that other off lead dogs are fine to approach. If they can't be off lead without other dogs approaching then put them on a lead. You are in the wrong here

thesurrealist · 16/10/2022 17:50

SirChenjins · 16/10/2022 17:07

I think you need to keep yours on a lead if they get upset by other off lead dogs bolting up to them - that way you have more ground for asking/telling the other owner to get their dog away from yours.

My elderly, half blind lab doesnt like other dogs near him, especially small ones as he can't see them properly. He does walk off the lead (mostly because he's old now and hasn't got the mobility to bolt) but when we see another dog, I put him on his lead and steer him away from the dog.
Dogs are social and so like to go up to other dogs. Mine is different and that's my problem to manage, not other owners. So yes, you were rude and totally overreacted.

Wafflington · 16/10/2022 17:51

The fact that you thought putting your hand up to a strange dog, and saying "stop" or "no" honestly just makes me assume you are one of those small dog owners who treats their dogs like children. The sort that, whenever their small dog is barking or snapping at another dog/human, responds by cooing "oh don't do that Billy! That's not very nice is it?!" To which the dog obviously ignores the owner, because they are being treated like a human child and not a dog.

WisherWood · 16/10/2022 17:52

You were both wrong. When walking dogs who I know might flee from other dogs, the first thing I'll do if I see another dog is get them on their leads. You can argue all you like that the other dog should be on a lead, but you have no control over that. You do have the ability to get hold of your own dogs before they bolt.

She was rude not to recall her dog since it was bothering you but you didn't respond in the best way. Other people's dogs rarely respond to your commands. Just grab hold of your own dogs and if another comes close and bothers you, then shout at it to bugger off.

Dotcheck · 16/10/2022 17:53

Toottooot · 16/10/2022 16:24

Surely if you canna trust your dugs nae to run aff then you dinna have them aff their leads either? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Agree with the sentiment
Not the…. interesting affectation
😂😇

Itisour · 16/10/2022 17:55

I think you were both in the wrong and both a bit rude - you could have approached the situation by apologising and asking them to call their dog as yours has bolted.

I think the only dogs who should be off lead are those who will never approach other dogs or people and/or have excellent recall and an owner who will put their dog on a lead when approaching another on lead dog by default.

I've got an anxious dog who wears a yellow harness and if I had a pound for every time some dog came bounding up with an only oblivious owner or one who thinks that their dog being friendly makes it ok...that won't change any time soon.

Your dog bolts when these dogs approach and has poor recall so your dog should also not be off lead. I think putting your dogs on leads is the only workable solution going forward. I tend to walk my dog in woods that have few other dog walkers but still always have mine on a lead (extended when no other dogs/people around).

Original poster
clankist · 16/10/2022 17:55

Wafflington · 16/10/2022 17:51

The fact that you thought putting your hand up to a strange dog, and saying "stop" or "no" honestly just makes me assume you are one of those small dog owners who treats their dogs like children. The sort that, whenever their small dog is barking or snapping at another dog/human, responds by cooing "oh don't do that Billy! That's not very nice is it?!" To which the dog obviously ignores the owner, because they are being treated like a human child and not a dog.

Erm you are very wrong.

OP posts:
Wineaddict · 16/10/2022 17:56

If you do not have full control of your dogs, then they should not be off lead.

So, neither theirs or yours should have been off lead and you both acted rudely in dealing with things.

Quincythequince · 16/10/2022 17:57

ThereIbledit · 16/10/2022 17:27

To be honest I wouldn't care if I was rude, her dog frightened yours and you had asked multiple times for her to call them back.

OPs dogs being frightened and prone to bolting is not the other lady’s problem is it.

If your dogs might bolt, keep them on a lead.

VioletInsolence · 16/10/2022 17:57

I don’t think it was wrong that her dog ran up to your dogs…that’s what dogs do.

I do think it was wrong of her to ignore you when you asked her to retrieve her dog.

I do think it’s wrong of you to have your dogs off lead. I’m pretty sure that one of mine would bolt if he was scared and I’m not prepared to put either my dog or myself in that situation. Have you not thought through how terrified you’d be if you lost them?

Original poster
clankist · 16/10/2022 17:57

Itisour · 16/10/2022 17:55

I think you were both in the wrong and both a bit rude - you could have approached the situation by apologising and asking them to call their dog as yours has bolted.

I think the only dogs who should be off lead are those who will never approach other dogs or people and/or have excellent recall and an owner who will put their dog on a lead when approaching another on lead dog by default.

I've got an anxious dog who wears a yellow harness and if I had a pound for every time some dog came bounding up with an only oblivious owner or one who thinks that their dog being friendly makes it ok...that won't change any time soon.

Your dog bolts when these dogs approach and has poor recall so your dog should also not be off lead. I think putting your dogs on leads is the only workable solution going forward. I tend to walk my dog in woods that have few other dog walkers but still always have mine on a lead (extended when no other dogs/people around).

Why would I start the interaction by apologising? Apologising for what?

OP posts:
Original poster
clankist · 16/10/2022 17:59

VioletInsolence · 16/10/2022 17:57

I don’t think it was wrong that her dog ran up to your dogs…that’s what dogs do.

I do think it was wrong of her to ignore you when you asked her to retrieve her dog.

I do think it’s wrong of you to have your dogs off lead. I’m pretty sure that one of mine would bolt if he was scared and I’m not prepared to put either my dog or myself in that situation. Have you not thought through how terrified you’d be if you lost them?

They don't run far, they do bolt but just far enough to be out of danger. They then just watch to make sure the dog(s) are gone and will come back.

OP posts:
Blendiful · 16/10/2022 17:59

I agree with the others all dogs should have been on a lead really.

I walk my dog off lead in open areas, he sometimes will approach other dogs though, but I put his lead back on if another dog is on one, if they aren't I assume they are mostly ok, or the owners are ok with them being approached at least.

I think this is pretty standard for etiquette with most dog owners, so if you don't want them approached you should put them on a lead.

Original poster
clankist · 16/10/2022 17:59

Never walk them off lead on a pavement etc or near a busy pavement.

OP posts:
3ShotsOfEspresso · 16/10/2022 18:00

Dogs say hello to each other when off lead, and - as dog owners - we all know the code for “don’t come near my dog” is a dog being on lead. The retriever came to say hello, if your dogs freak out easily put them on a lead.

3ShotsOfEspresso · 16/10/2022 18:00

For the record I think it’s nice how protective you are, but in this instance I do think you were a bit over-sensitive.

thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 18:02

clankist · 16/10/2022 17:59

Never walk them off lead on a pavement etc or near a busy pavement.

Doesn't matter whether you're near a road or not, though. You know your dogs are prone to bolting and chose to keep them off the lead anyway - that's your silly mistake.

Dogs who are scared can run for hours - or even days. A dog near us at the beginning bolted and ran for three weeks before it was caught. It's a miracle it even survived.

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2022 18:02

I put my hand up and said, 'thank you' and walked away. I wasn't near her, so it would have been impossible for me to put my hand in her face. Which I wouldn't have done anyway. I put my hand up to stop the conversation.

Yup, rude.

SillySausage25 · 16/10/2022 18:03

You were asking the forum if we thought your behaviour was rude. People have answered honestly that they feel you were being rude. I am not sure why you asked in the first place as you seem to think you did the right thing. That's fine of course but why ask? I don't think there is anything else left to say on this post really. Good evening to you.

TabithaTittlemouse · 16/10/2022 18:04

My dog’s would react as yours did. Mine stay on leads because of this.

I think your anger is misplaced. You were irresponsible and rude.

Moveoverdarlin · 16/10/2022 18:05

I think you were rude and wrong. You needed the other women to get their dogs so you could get yours back. It was your problem, not theirs. Their dogs just came over to you. It was yours that ran off. I would have said ‘I’m so sorry, would you mind getting your dogs, as mine won’t come over until yours are gone. They’re not great off a lead. Thanks so much.’ You sounded pissy with them, when their dogs we’re just being well behaved dogs, albeit bounding over.

startfresh · 16/10/2022 18:05

I think you were polite. I had someone the other day saying "she's friendly" over and over and I was like HE'S BEEN ATTACKED BEFORE repeatedly, she didn't care. Her dog was off lead and pestering my on lead, half the size, dog. I don't care if your dog is mother Theresa reincarnated, if I'm keeping my dog away, it's for a reason, don't let your dog come over.

People who don't monitor their dogs and behave appropriately (keeping them away from dogs on lead) are dicks. Pure and simple.

curlymom · 16/10/2022 18:06

I think a lot of comments here are unfair as the dogs are only 7 months and the owner is still probably in training with them. Yes she may have had need to keep on lead but that was a lesson learnt today and something to work towards in training. After today, I am sure she will do things differently.

Mischance · 16/10/2022 18:06

Please keep your dogs on a lead in public spaces.