Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I rude/wrong in this situation?

457 replies

clankist · 16/10/2022 16:20

Was out walking my two seven month chihuahuas today. I have treated them like dogs from day one and they are very well trained. They walk off lead absolutely fine and don't bother other dogs at all, however if a dog comes running over to them they will bolt.

Today I was walking them off lead and there were two big golden retriever with two women who were chatting. We were quite a distance away but one of the retrievers started barking and running towards me/my dogs. I put my hand out in a 'stop' motion as it got closer. I said, 'stop' and when that didn't work I said 'no'. That didn't work either and my dogs started to run away.

I moved away from the dogs and began to call for my dogs but the retriever kept following me so my dogs were standing watching at a distance but wouldn't come over due to the dog being next to me. I shouted across to the woman, 'can you please get your dog?' No reply and she continued talking.

I moved away again, calling my dogs and the dog followed me again. I looked at the lady and shouted, 'can you get your dog?' She didn't move.

I moved away again and the dog followed once again, at this point I was exasperated and said a little sternly, 'will You move your dog!?'

She came over and said, 'my dog isn't anywhere near your dogs' rudely.

I said, 'yeah because they ran away terrified due to your dog coming up to them. If your dog is off lead it shouldn't be running up to my dogs'

She went to say something but I just held up my hand and said, 'thank you'.

I then continued my walk with my dogs and the lady met another dog walker who then started pointing to me and shaking their head.

Did I do the right thing to deal with this situation or was I too sensitive? I just think you shouldn't have your dog off the lead unless you know they will not approach any other dogs without permission.

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 16/10/2022 16:53

Very Rude and totally unreasonable. None of these dogs should have been off the lead

CarefreeMe · 16/10/2022 16:54

You were within your rights to ask her to call her dog back but it’s not her (or her dogs fault) that your dogs ran off.

If you know that your dogs bolt of a dog comes up to them, then either keep them on a lead all of the time or put them on when you see another dog.

You can’t blame your dogs not being trained on other people.

You were very rude to put your hand up and cut her off like you did and act like she was in the wrong.

WifeMotherWorker · 16/10/2022 16:56

YABU - yes you were rude, very!
Keep your nervous prone to bolting dogs on a lead!!

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 16/10/2022 17:00

FanTaill · 16/10/2022 16:47

This is not true at all.

My dog wouldn’t want to be approached; he wants to follow a scent or run after a ball. He puts up with clueless dogs bothering him but absolutely hates it. That doesn’t mean he has to be confined to a lead for his whole life.

My dog is the same which is why I put him back on a lead when I see off lead dogs approaching. Other owners then call their dog back. He can be off lead as much as he likes when there aren't other dogs around

Bigslippers · 16/10/2022 17:00

You were probably frustrated OP

If your dogs tend to bolt when other dogs go up to them personally I would keep them on a lead if others are about. I used to walk my labs in woodland off lead but because they are friendly they would try to bound towards dogs to say ‘hello’ which was great if it was usual friendly walkers but any strangers I would lead them up. Politeness really, labs are notoriously friendly but some other dogs (and walkers) feel intimated

If i could hear or see other dogs Id put the leads on until I was sure all was ok

Both in wrong really as both were not on leads but I sense your panic in the ways your dogs reacted

Theres an unwritten rule really keep on lead if others are around unless you know ‘all is well’

clankist · 16/10/2022 17:01

WifeMotherWorker · 16/10/2022 16:56

YABU - yes you were rude, very!
Keep your nervous prone to bolting dogs on a lead!!

Didn't her dog bolt over to my dogs though? Why doesn't she keep her boisterous, prone to bolt dog on the lead?

OP posts:
J0y · 16/10/2022 17:02

yeh bit rude. dogs are going to chase after each other. fact of life. Put yours on a lead to stop them running away.

Notsa · 16/10/2022 17:02

Both sets of dogs sound like they were out of the control of the owner and shouldn't have been off lead. Doesn't matter the breed.

WifeMotherWorker · 16/10/2022 17:03

If dogs are off lead that is an indication that they are happy for interaction. Conversely keeping a dog on a lead is a signal to other owners to not approach. I have one on lead (old, nervous and will bolt) and one off lead (young, trained and friendly).

OperaStation · 16/10/2022 17:04

“They walk off lead absolutely fine and don't bother other dogs at all, however if a dog comes running over to them they will bolt”

Well, that’s a significant contradiction. If you can’t trust them not to run away then they shouldn’t be off the lead.

You’re such a typical dog owner. You think your dogs are so special and so different. However, like 100% of dogs you cannot completely trust that they won’t do what you don’t want them to do. The only safe dog is a dog on a lead.

Quincythequince · 16/10/2022 17:05

clankist · 16/10/2022 16:26

Completely disagree. The only situation they run is when a random dog approaches them by running up and barking. I don't think it's much to ask dog owners to not allow that.

If you don’t want your dogs to manage that, you need to be in control of them and of that situation all the time.

In your case that means walking on lead only, or walking off lead in an enclosed private space.

Your dogs running off are your problem!

And yes, you were very rude!

Quincythequince · 16/10/2022 17:05

WifeMotherWorker · 16/10/2022 17:03

If dogs are off lead that is an indication that they are happy for interaction. Conversely keeping a dog on a lead is a signal to other owners to not approach. I have one on lead (old, nervous and will bolt) and one off lead (young, trained and friendly).

Completely agree with this!

hesbeingabitofadick · 16/10/2022 17:06

Yes.

OperaStation · 16/10/2022 17:06

clankist · 16/10/2022 17:01

Didn't her dog bolt over to my dogs though? Why doesn't she keep her boisterous, prone to bolt dog on the lead?

Her dog didn’t bolt. Her dog did what all dogs do and went to make friends with the other dogs. It behaved EXACTLY as you would expect a dog off the lead to behave.

walkersareback · 16/10/2022 17:06

FionnulaTheCooler · 16/10/2022 16:23

Putting your hand up in front of someone's face when they are talking is rude, yes.

And this kind of answer is what's wrong with mumsnet at the moment.

IncompleteSenten · 16/10/2022 17:07

I'm confused
Your title asks if you were rude.
Poster says yes and specifies which bit was rude.
You reply that they know that wasn't your question.

So what was your question since it's not what you asked in your title?

She should have been more attentive, you were a little school ma'amish. Neither massively awful.

TimeforZeroes · 16/10/2022 17:07

Not as rude as cutting someone off by putting your hand up.

SirChenjins · 16/10/2022 17:07

I think you need to keep yours on a lead if they get upset by other off lead dogs bolting up to them - that way you have more ground for asking/telling the other owner to get their dog away from yours.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 16/10/2022 17:07

clankist · 16/10/2022 16:26

Completely disagree. The only situation they run is when a random dog approaches them by running up and barking. I don't think it's much to ask dog owners to not allow that.

You are as bad as her. Your dogs are not under your control if the won't come back to you on command

EmilyGilmoresSass · 16/10/2022 17:08

Her dogs ran off offlead which annoyed you
... thing is. Yours did the same thing. And if you can't recall them then they shouldn't be off lead either

Whattheactualfcku · 16/10/2022 17:08

You’re wrong. Your dogs should be on a lead if they have the potential to bolt. My toy poodle is the same and any dog scared her so I keep her on her lead. On lead is different, if a dog was harassing yours but off lead it’s assumed they’re ok to play!

girlmom21 · 16/10/2022 17:09

Your dogs aren't well trained so it's not her fault they bolted, that's your fault. She was wrong for not recalling her dog as soon as she saw your dogs didn't want to interact. You were rude for raising your hand dismissively.

Tsort · 16/10/2022 17:09

Why ask if YABU if you’re unable to accept YABU?

Rainraindontgoaway · 16/10/2022 17:10

Putting you hand up to someone when they are trying to say something is the height of rudeness in my opinion.

Lkakpk · 16/10/2022 17:11

To ask the question deep down you know it was rude . Dogs shouldn’t be off the leas if they are a flight risk and it’s not other walkers problem to pre empt this . My view is is dog is off lead it’s both friendly and well trained

Swipe left for the next trending thread