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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's going to be a struggle to send DC to university now?

201 replies

coffeerevelsrule · 16/10/2022 15:37

DC a couple of years off this now but it's beginning to worry me nonetheless.

My finances are as follows: I'm divorced and earn about £52k. Ex husband contributes nothing and I have to pay him £10k when youngest child reaches 21 as part of our divorce settlement. I have just over £21k in savings. I usually manage to save about £100-£200 per month - this is quite a bit less than a couple of years ago just due to rising costs and having to replace my car when it died last year. My mortgage is currently just under £700 per month and I also have about £5k other debts (low - 0 interest - unavoidable at the time).

Martin Lewis website said last time I checked that I should expect to contribute about £7k per child per year. This would have been a struggle anyway but now looks pretty much impossible. My mortgage is fixed for another couple of years and my fuel until next year. Both will rise massively just as dd1 is due to go to uni. What the fuck will happen?

AIBU to think that if inflation/interest rates stay like this they are going to have to look again at the thresholds for parental contributions but AIalsoBU to say they won't and university is going to become unaffordable for many?

OP posts:
SavingsThreads · 16/10/2022 15:41

You don't HAVE to contribute that, it's that £7k is the gap between their loan and their costs. They have the option of working to fill some or all of this, which many do.

catchthedog · 16/10/2022 15:43

they just need to work while at uni like a loft of students do.

lightisnotwhite · 16/10/2022 15:48

There’s no reason why your ex can’t give some of the 10k settlement to his child is there?
One persons struggle is another’s blessed life. £700 is low in terms of housing costs and £5k debit can be paid off easily.
Encourage your kids to earn and save ( as you do) and they’ll be fine. There’s also plenty of grants and bursary’s to help students.

nicknamehelp · 16/10/2022 15:51

My ds is working to top up loan. He works full time when hone in hols and a day a week when away to keep bit trickling in. The thing is when they are planning to be open and honest with what you can if anything give them.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 16/10/2022 15:51

My DD got the minimum loan which barely covered the rent in her halls/shared house. We gave her £50 a week and she was expected to work if she needed more.

Underscore21 · 16/10/2022 15:51

Lots of undergraduates live at home nowadays and attend local Universities, your DC may have to do this.

Ponoka7 · 16/10/2022 15:52

They need part time jobs from the age of 16 and get used to cutting their cloth and working for life's extras. Do you not live within distance of a University that they could attend, so they don't have housing costs?

JaninaDuszejko · 16/10/2022 15:54

You don't HAVE to contribute that, it's that £7k is the gap between their loan and their costs.

Just because you're not forced to pay it doesn't mean you're not expected to. Or are you the father of the OP's children and believe it's fine to not support your children?

OP, some cities are cheaper to live in as a student than others, some universities have more financial help available. And hopefully the fuel costs and interest rates will decrease soon.

titchy · 16/10/2022 15:54

Errrr ignore Martin Lewis! The expectation is that you top up the difference between the loan they'll get, and the maximum. Even getting minimum maintenance loan you'd only need to top up about £5k a year.

At your salary your dc will qualify for a £6k loan, so you'd need to top up less than £4k a year. In reality if they get a job or go to a slightly cheaper part of the Uk, you could get away with giving much less.

bumblefeline · 16/10/2022 15:56

My DD goes to the local Uni and got a job and supports herself. There is no way I could afford to give her any extra. We have a good family income but are the squeezed middle and she only gets the basic student loan.

derekthe1adyhamster · 16/10/2022 15:57

Mine took a gap year. Worked and saved money. I pay for his utility bills and travel home, but that's all. He has a part time job and uses that as a top up

Original poster
coffeerevelsrule · 16/10/2022 15:58

Both dc are highly academic and have their sights set on prestige universities that are not near us and I don't want to see them unable to fulfil those ambitions due to this useless, corrupt government and its shitty decisions. I realise my situation is quite a good one currently, but if my mortgage goes up to something like £1k or even more it really won't be. Ex won't contribute anything. I also don't really want the dc having to work - or not so much to support themselves as I think that would impact on grades. A part time job to top up socialising costs - fine, but having to work to pay the rent - not really feasible I'd say.

OP posts:
PrincessConsuelaBanana · 16/10/2022 15:58

When I went to uni my parents didn’t have much at all - they couldn’t afford to give me £700 a year never mind £7000! I had a term time job at uni and another at home in the holidays. I was fine.

MacarenaMacarena · 16/10/2022 15:59

If your DC goes away for uni, could you rent her room to a lodger, preferably a student who would go home on the holidays so your daughter could have her room back?
Her father has a role here - ask him what he will be doing to help.

Isaidnoalready · 16/10/2022 16:01

You dont want them to work? Get a second job yourself then personally I would encourage them to work harder now and save there behinds off

edwinbear · 16/10/2022 16:02

It was actually Labour who introduced university tuition fees. You have them to thank for that.

HenBob · 16/10/2022 16:02

I worked 37 hours to put myself through uni and had absolutely zero parental support. It's shit but some people have to do it. I came out with a first class degree and a great work ethic, but in an ideal world it would have been easier. I understand your situation but if the kids have to work seasonally even (Christmas, Easter and summers at Sainsbury's or similar) you can rake up some nice earnings to support yourself. It's truly is a privilege not to have to work throughout but it's not the reality for most.

Anoooshka · 16/10/2022 16:03

Maybe a sponsored degree:

www.ucas.com/file/301201/download?token=h5NNR0bR

rosesandferns · 16/10/2022 16:03

Could you afford to support your DC to live at home for a year while they work full-time, so that they can save their salary towards university costs?

CantFindTheBeat · 16/10/2022 16:03

It is really difficult, OP.

From what you've said, based on your current household income, sounds like your DC would get a maintenance loan of about £5,500 per annum.

This would have to fund their accommodation and living expenses, so they will need to have savings and a part time job.

If you could contribute more to your pension so your earnings are under £50k at time of applying, their maintenance loan amount would increase.

Panauchocolat25 · 16/10/2022 16:04

I went to uni with no financial help from my parents. I came from a single parent family with not much money, probably half what you earn. I paid for everything (rent, food, bills) out of my student loan which I borrowed the maximum amount. I Iived in the cheapest accommodation because I had to. I'll be paying my student loan off for another ten years yet. But it didn't stop me going to uni. Most students get a pt job and live frugally.

YeahThanks · 16/10/2022 16:06

Dont forget there are things that you pay for now that you won’t when they go to Uni. I was paying bus fare and lunches & pocket money each week, now I give them £100 a week which sounds a lot but when you deduct the above it’s not so much. Also you’ll spend less on food and utilities, you’ll be amazed how much your electricity usage increases when they’re home during the holidays.

MintJulia · 16/10/2022 16:06

You don't have to contribute. My parents didn't, and I managed. I worked all the holidays and had a bar job during term time.

Your DCs could go to university locally. They could do an apprenticeship degree. They could get sponsored. There are lots of options. They may choose not to go to university at all.

Sagittarius25 · 16/10/2022 16:07

When I went to uni (2014-2017) I lived at home, attended a local uni, had a part time job, received a maintenance loan (for textbooks, contribute to commuting to uni via petrol or train tickets) as well as loan for studies. My parents did not change a single thing in 'what they contributed to me'. Nothing changed in the fact I was still at home so they paid the house bills, bought food for me etc. but I earned my money with my part time job and never asked my parents for any more. Attending a university local to home is becoming much more popular simply because of the vast costs for students to live away.

SarahMused · 16/10/2022 16:09

Does your ex earn less than you? If they do, your kids would be entitled to a bigger loan if they put him down as the resident parent. I don’t think the university being prestigious makes any difference to the cost, it is more likely to depend on how expensive the city is.