To think it's going to be a struggle to send DC to university now?

[coffeerevelsrule]

DC a couple of years off this now but it's beginning to worry me nonetheless.

My finances are as follows: I'm divorced and earn about £52k. Ex husband contributes nothing and I have to pay him £10k when youngest child reaches 21 as part of our divorce settlement. I have just over £21k in savings. I usually manage to save about £100-£200 per month - this is quite a bit less than a couple of years ago just due to rising costs and having to replace my car when it died last year. My mortgage is currently just under £700 per month and I also have about £5k other debts (low - 0 interest - unavoidable at the time).

Martin Lewis website said last time I checked that I should expect to contribute about £7k per child per year. This would have been a struggle anyway but now looks pretty much impossible. My mortgage is fixed for another couple of years and my fuel until next year. Both will rise massively just as dd1 is due to go to uni. What the fuck will happen?

AIBU to think that if inflation/interest rates stay like this they are going to have to look again at the thresholds for parental contributions but AIalsoBU to say they won't and university is going to become unaffordable for many?

[geraniumsandsunshine]

@Underscore21

Lots of undergraduates live at home nowadays and attend local Universities, your DC may have to do this.

It's a bit sad that my youngest is less than a year and I am worrying about this! I do live in a university city with a law and med school as well as the usual humanities and science courses so looks like if they want to go to uni, I will encourage them to stay here.

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

Besides earning money, working part time is great experience for young people. I recommend it highly, even if money is not a concern.

I interview for an graduate intern program. I expect the young people I interview to have work experience.

I also see how valuable it has been to my DC. They learn useful skills that they won’t learn at college or at home. They mature and gain confidence. It shows discipline and motivation. It improves their people skills. It gives them an advantage at job interviews, they can draw upon their experience to answer many interview questions.

Working part time is not a bad thing! Even on exam years…

[Newmumatlast]

@coffeerevelsrule

Both dc are highly academic and have their sights set on prestige universities that are not near us and I don't want to see them unable to fulfil those ambitions due to this useless, corrupt government and its shitty decisions. I realise my situation is quite a good one currently, but if my mortgage goes up to something like £1k or even more it really won't be. Ex won't contribute anything. I also don't really want the dc having to work - or not so much to support themselves as I think that would impact on grades. A part time job to top up socialising costs - fine, but having to work to pay the rent - not really feasible I'd say.

In which case they'll have to take a gap year and work like I did (3 jobs) and other friends. Or even 2 or 3 gap years. In the grand scheme of things that time will mean little in the long career ahead, can be explained, and provides an opportunity to try to get pre uni experience in starter jobs within interested fields.

[GlassesWearer]

If you contact student finance and state that your child is financially independent from you and that you have no intention of supporting them then student finance can, at their discretion, choose to allow your child to apply as an independent student (i.e. your income isn't taken into account, only their own income). Often, there are additional circumstances for this (i.e. an abusive household or one where the child was financially independent for some reason etc). Alternatively, they can put their father's address as their home address (as long as he has parental responsibility) and have his income assessed as the household income. Student finance has a lot of factors decided entirely at their discretion - the rules are more like guidelines to be honest.

[BalmyBalmes]

Yes @Myjobisanightmare and the difference in amount of loan living at home and living away is laughable!
Less than 2K

The cost of housing in general is going to mean a lot more students having to stay home and travel. Only fairly wealthy parents are going to be able to pay the eye-watering rents

[Myjobisanightmare]

@celestialsphere

If students do all work nowadays it’s actually because even the full loan (or part loan with parental contribution) isn't enough to live on in most parts of the country now. Things have changed and everything is more expensive, particularly rent and food so the fact that people managed when they were students without parental help doesn't mean that students can manage now. The cognitive dissonance among those who think parents can't possibly afford to contribute even if they are on relatively high incomes but students will easily be able to work enough cover most of their living costs as well as study is quite laughable.

Absolutely this our dd wants to go away to uni next year and she does work already pays for her own clothes and social life and there’s always some left in the pot

because of our income she’ll get minimum loan so if she borrows that and we are prepared to give her our full contribution I thought that would be fine but now we’re at the uni open day stage have you seen the cost of halls!!! £7.5/8000 were common costs I thought £5/6000 and you can’t guarantee a place at the cheapest either, honestly anyone thinking that their child’s going to away to uni in a few years I really recommend you pick a few random unis right now and have a look at the hall prices the sooner you all have a conversation as a family about how halls food living bills etc will be financed the better

[BalmyBalmes]

University is all about life choices. If your children want to go to university and want to live away from home then they have to help to make this work.
You may find their loan doesn't even fully cover the rent never mind living expenses so they will need a job. My DD1 is at uni and managed to earn over 2K last summer between leaving school and starting uni.

My cousin had a similar situation (although only 1 child) and she did the sums with her DC to work out how much she was short. Her DC had to take this to her dad to discuss how he was going to help her get to university and what he would pay for. The arrangement for support was directly with the student DD and nothing to do with the mum, although loan was based on her salary.

[NoSquirrels]

spend it on the dc and then have to borrow to pay him if he insists

I’d do this. Or at least put away e.g. £5K only as an initial payment then come to an agreement about the remaining £5K. You’ll be able to save more quickly once not supporting DC at university. And if push comes to shove, as long as your credit rating is OK then it would be a small loan or even something an interest free credit card could handle.

[amicissimma]

I think you should reconsider the idea that you will be struggling to fund your DCs' life choices.

It is their choice whether to go straight to uni after school and live a more frugal lifestyle or whether to spend a year, or two working, and be better off with the added advantage of more experience, maturity and work contacts. Certainly if they get a job straight after A levels they can earn quite a bit between May and September/October.

Either way they theoretically have the choice of whether or not to work during their time at uni, again getting more money and more experience or try to struggle through with no other income. There is far more time available than they would have you think - they could cut down on screen time, for example.

I do think you are unreasonable to blame the government for the results of their choices. I went to uni late, with savings, and worked throughout (easier as I had experience) and my DCs went straight from school and worked holidays and some evenings if they wanted a top-up. This was under different governments, so you can't really blame one party or another.

[VestaTilley]

I should add, I paid for my accommodation (halls then houses) myself from my student loan, then largely lived on whatever was left and my part time earnings, plus odd family handouts here and there. Many of my friends had their loan to live on, while their parents paid their rent. I didn’t, and I managed - but your DC do need summer jobs to do this.

[VestaTilley]

Can you take your XH to court/CMS to get money for the DC at uni? If not, then they need weekend and summer jobs between school terms and after A Levels and before uni.

My DPs couldn’t afford to help me much - I worked in a mixture of two pubs, two cafes and a clothes shop in holidays aged 16-18, then returned to a cafe and clothes shop every uni holiday. My DGM kindly gave me a bit of money whenever she could; I also had a bar job part time in second year. It was a struggle, but doable.

Make sure your DC borrow the max loan they can for fees and maintenance so they take on more of the debt to pay back later, rather than you shelling out money in the short term that you haven’t got. It’s really not that bad when taken each month once they’re earning well.

Ask family for cash for the DCs for Christmas and birthdays from now on - then save it for them for when they’re at uni.

Don’t get in to debt in order to help them - they need summer jobs, money from their DF and/or other relations and/or to borrow the max loan from the student loan company they can get.

[Girlsontour]

www.study.eu/article/study-in-germany-for-free-what-you-need-to-know

[Girlsontour]

It's to do with the low birth rate in Germany, they encourage international students to stay in afterwards. They always kept spots open for international students on every course. UK & US students were rare applicants so they usually had no problem getting in to even competitive courses for this reason. This includes, medicine, engineering, IT and other competitive courses. Your kid needs to be well motivated though as there is less handholding in the German system. Although International students do usually have a student center and staff available to help them navigate everything.

[Girlsontour]

Germany has always been free (or almost) to ALL international students. I worked as an international college counselor. Unless this has changed in the past year it was the case last time I checked. I also lived in Germany until 2015.
I would check other European countries you may be pleasantly surprised at how affordable they are, even for international students.

[Dixiechickonhols]

I’d definitely get legal advice before handing over. He might be too embarrassed to start legal action if he’s not paid any maintenance or the university maintenance parental contribution. Or like a lot of people wouldn’t get around to it or couldn’t afford legal costs/court fee.

[Bunce1]

Have the children asked their dad what he is able to contribute to their Uni costs?

I would give him much less that £10k with a solicitors letter expalining why. Then leave it and see what he does.

[MrsCarson]

Our Dd is supposed to go to Uni next September. I have saved for her and have a set amount for up to 4 years there. Now I have a feeling that the accommodation will jump in price surely, meaning what I saved won't go as far obviously.
For Ds he had a campus job, we covered books and stuff like that and took him grocery shopping and out to lunch about once a month. He was about 45 mins away with no public transport, so would have been driving back and forth all week.
Dd will be 2 hours away so a monthly visit probably won't happen.

[coffeerevelsrule]

Bunce1 I've never officially sought proper legal advice on it, but from what I have read (some of it on here, including the legal forum!) he could take me to court and would definitely win as we have a clean break final order (can't remember the proper name) and I would be forced to sell the house (if that's what it took) and would be charged interest at 8.5%. The fact that he has CMS arrears / has been told he doesn't need to pay so has done nothing to support his kids for over a decade wouldn't be considered.

It's actually infuriating as he has recently received a large inheritance and spent it on a house 'so the kids an have a bedroom each'. Yet he rarely has them more than once a week and he could have put, say £10k each aside for university (I've emailed him about it so many times ) and still had enough to get a house, albeit a smaller one. Yet he didn't and now has no housing costs, has the kids when it suits him only and continues to contribute nothing even as costs of everything increase. He's off to stay with friends abroad for a fortnight next week...He also expects another large inheritance in, realistically, the next ten years max. Sorry, that sounds a brutal thing to say but it's fact - with all the usual caveats about potential care costs etc.

My mind would be a lot easier without the £10k hanging over me but there's not a lot I can do other than test his appetite for taking me to court when the time comes. I honestly think that if it happens to be the case that he gets his inheritance around that time he wouldn't bother. Again, that's not me hoping for someone's death, just giving a realistic assessment of what might happen. He'll always do what's easiest for him. There's no easy option for me - the £10k is due after dc2 would have finished uni so I either keep his £10k separate and struggle more to support them, or spend it on the dc and then have to borrow to pay him if he insists.

[Bunce1]

op What would happen if you just didn't pay your EX the £10k?

[CantFindTheBeat]

@coffeerevelsrule

DodgyLeftLeg I've said a couple of times now that I accept the idea that they will probably have to work, having read the multiple posts about that.

I think it's a pretty rotten system to be honest and there isn't enough discussion about it. On the one hand they're seen as adults and plenty on here take that attitude and are all 'it's up to them if they want to go - they'll have to work,' etc etc but on the other hand it's the parent's income that decides the level of loan they get, so they are viewed a dependants. But not properly because it's only income from what I can see - outgoings aren't considered or blended families etc so people are expected in some cases to pay amounts that are just not affordable.

And when it comes to split families like mine, many people seem to take the view that the nrp is under no obligation to contribute as the 'child' is actually an adult now and the rp needs to stay out of it as it's between two adults (seen lots of threads about this on here). It's a proper mess.

I'll be contributing whatever I can afford and also encouraging the dc to work within reason AND doing whatever I can to get ex to make some sort of contribution, maybe in the form of waiving his £10k. But I stand by my OP in that this Tory created economic crisis is going to have the effect that many people now won't be able to afford uni, or perhaps will end up working to an extent that their grades are affected.

I agree with you entirely, OP.

Even with two working, resident parents, the student has no say at all over if they can or will provide a financial contribution.


Why should students be judged according to something they have no input to or control over?

[mast0650]

The 7k sounds a lot, depending on the University. My kids get the minimum loan and we are giving them about 5k each, which is the difference between the minimum and maximum loan (rounded up). It's enough for them to get by on and my daughter works in the vacation for money for holidays, festivals etc. Son has only just started. They are at Oxford and Lancaster. Some places eg London would certainly cost more but not all. Oxford (and Cambridge) in particular are relatively cheap as terms are short and the Colleges have more money to subsidize students. Oxbridge students are not supposed to work in term time, but the holidays are long. Obviously no-one should count on Oxbridge admission though, however good their grades.

I can see your situation is difficult. But it may not be as bad as you think.

[Dixiechickonhols]

@coffeerevelsrule

DodgyLeftLeg I've said a couple of times now that I accept the idea that they will probably have to work, having read the multiple posts about that.

I think it's a pretty rotten system to be honest and there isn't enough discussion about it. On the one hand they're seen as adults and plenty on here take that attitude and are all 'it's up to them if they want to go - they'll have to work,' etc etc but on the other hand it's the parent's income that decides the level of loan they get, so they are viewed a dependants. But not properly because it's only income from what I can see - outgoings aren't considered or blended families etc so people are expected in some cases to pay amounts that are just not affordable.

And when it comes to split families like mine, many people seem to take the view that the nrp is under no obligation to contribute as the 'child' is actually an adult now and the rp needs to stay out of it as it's between two adults (seen lots of threads about this on here). It's a proper mess.

I'll be contributing whatever I can afford and also encouraging the dc to work within reason AND doing whatever I can to get ex to make some sort of contribution, maybe in the form of waiving his £10k. But I stand by my OP in that this Tory created economic crisis is going to have the effect that many people now won't be able to afford uni, or perhaps will end up working to an extent that their grades are affected.

I very much agree. Lots don’t realise they can’t borrow much of a maintenance loan if parents work. They are adults and it’s a loan they pay back so why can’t they all borrow the same as they can with tuition fees. Some parents can’t or won’t fund difference. It’s not needing to work for spends/extras it’s fact loan won’t even cover halls by several thousand.

[user1487194234]

Obviously I don’t tell them what to do
They work in the holidays

[PinkSyCo]

@user1487194234

I don’t want mine working in term time
I want them to focus on their studies
I was skint at Uni and don’t want that for mine
My money my choice

What about if your child wanted to work, if only to gain some life experience or to help with their self esteem. Would you put a stop to it? Because I would have revolted if my parents had told me I wasn’t allowed to work when I was a student.

[user1487194234]

I don’t want mine working in term time
I want them to focus on their studies
I was skint at Uni and don’t want that for mine
My money my choice