To think it's going to be a struggle to send DC to university now?

[coffeerevelsrule]

DC a couple of years off this now but it's beginning to worry me nonetheless.

My finances are as follows: I'm divorced and earn about £52k. Ex husband contributes nothing and I have to pay him £10k when youngest child reaches 21 as part of our divorce settlement. I have just over £21k in savings. I usually manage to save about £100-£200 per month - this is quite a bit less than a couple of years ago just due to rising costs and having to replace my car when it died last year. My mortgage is currently just under £700 per month and I also have about £5k other debts (low - 0 interest - unavoidable at the time).

Martin Lewis website said last time I checked that I should expect to contribute about £7k per child per year. This would have been a struggle anyway but now looks pretty much impossible. My mortgage is fixed for another couple of years and my fuel until next year. Both will rise massively just as dd1 is due to go to uni. What the fuck will happen?

AIBU to think that if inflation/interest rates stay like this they are going to have to look again at the thresholds for parental contributions but AIalsoBU to say they won't and university is going to become unaffordable for many?

Does your child even want to go to uni? If they do, and you really don’t think you can can cut your cloth in order to help them out, then they are just going to have to work alongside studying like thousands of other students have to do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

no Law forces you To be a decent responsible parent. Don’t stress it.

Why doesn't his dad contribute?

What makes you think those with "A life where you pass all your GCSE's, A Levels, get into a top Uni to do the course of your dreams and where you are financially comfortable throughout" aren't set up for the real world? Those who have all of that are more likely to be successful than those who don't.

Can you work out a budget and carve out an extra £200 per month. We've had less family income and a bigger mortgage so I think it would be tight but doable. You need to watch every penny and save as much as you can in the next couple of years. Plus you will save some money from them not living at home.

It's called salary sacrifice and you can agree to reduce your pay. Employer pays the extra straight into your pension. It means you also save on national insurance.

Why are you accepting that he pays nothing towards his children, yet you’re just going to hand over £10K in a few years?
Get a CMS case open.
Get arrears built up.
Refuse to pay him that amount from the £10K.
Let him take you to court 🤷🏻‍♀️
Even if he’s on benefits and the award would be a fiver a week that could be a grand back.

As to uni - agree with everyone who is saying, they can work.

Encourage them to take a gap year and work for most of it to save up.
I did this and then was able to go back to that job during university holidays. I saved up enough to cushion the costs for the whole of university

As a very academic child who went to a very prestigious university I am so glad for the time spent working. It matured me far more than travelling would have done (although I did travel for a few months but volunteered to make it v cheap).

Any chance of getting this £10K written off? Seems odd that he contributes nothing to the cost of the children's upbringing and then you have to pay him.

It sounds like your kids will have to take the maximum student loan, knowing that they only ever pay it back if they earn enough and then it is written off after some years anyway. When the time comes you can see how your finances are and offer what you can afford based on reducing in term time food bills and current pocket money etc. If they need to do some work during hte very long university holidays and perhaps on Saturdays then they will be in the same position as most other students. These early jobs are also really good life experiences. I think you are working too much.

*worrying not working

The size of their debt is largely irrelevant as they will never pay it back unless on massive sox figure salaries at which point the extra few thousand really won't matter. You want them to get as much as they can so if putting dad as resident parent helps with that then consider it.

Honestly I think you’re overestimating the time they will actually need to spend studying to get top grades. There’s no reason in the world they couldn’t have a part time job as well as study. I got a first class degree in a science subject from a top ranking uni, whilst being a lone parent of 2 young children and running a business part time. Admittedly the final year was a bit full on, time wise, with my dissertation, but otherwise it was all very easily manageable.

Also I just thought... Depending on their post 16 qualifications they may well be able to make money tutoring which pays much better than part time jobs at that age. Maths or English particularly sought after and round me in the south east (not London) people will pay £30+ per hour so they could just do 3/4 hrs a week and that would be almost £5k!

Clearly the amounts vary in different locations but worth considering. If they are doing A-Levels they might be able to make smaller amounts now from tutoring younger kids. Parents who can't afford professional tutors will pay A-Level students a smaller fee say £10/15 for tutoring. This happens near me anyway.

Do your DC study any other languages because Uni is virtually free in Germany and many degrees are offered in English. The Netherlands and Italy also offer undergrad degrees in English. They also often will let visiting international students work so they could work a few hrs during the week and more during the vacation. Up until recently the German cost of living was much bette than the UK and Germany is generous with its students with cheap accommodation and even grants to those from low income families. I would do some research if any of your kids would be open to studying abroad.

Not true that the debt won't be paid back. They are changing things so that the debt isn't wiped off until 40 years after the loan.

Girlsontour

Were not in the EU now so no longer free for our children. Working very unlikely too as jobs will go to EU members first. I can’t hard to think about all our kids have lost under the Tories. Yes many are going to lose the opportunity of going to Uni in the U.K. too. It’s heartbreaking.

Some universities do offer bursaries for that level of income (Imperial do).

DD1 in particular is doing brilliantly well - got a full set of 9s in her recent mocks so I will get her to research colleges that may provide financial help - she's got her heart set on Oxford.

As for their dad not contributing, there's not much I can do about that. He's on a very low income and I have gone through CSA and they say he doesn't have to pay anything at the moment as his income is so low and he has them 5 nights per fortnight - although he actually very rarely has them that much as most weeks at least one night is cancelled due to his shifts/illness/family issues/just because... Legally the £10k is completely separate from that and I don't think it will be written off as a result of it. I've asked him many times what his plans are for when the dc are at uni and he never replies.

Posters have made me rethink my aversion to the dc working though so I will certainly be encouraging holiday jobs and maybe weekends when doing A Levels.

I am sure you will do what you can, they will have to fill the gaps themselves, with working and / or with jobs. I managed to get through university with parents that refused to help in any way, it was pre tuition fee at least, but I still needed money to live on, which I got through a combination of jobs and loans. I didn’t particularly enjoy my university days as it was such a struggle for me and I wish I had better memories, but it can be done and was well worth it.

Sorry to hear that you had a tough time at uni, Aprilx. That's what I don't want for my dc. I don't know if my title has given some posters the idea that I would stop them going due to expense. That's not the case at all. I will be giving them as much as I can, but recent economic events have made me think that won't be as much as I had thought. It won't be nothing, though (hopefully) and, yes, they might have to work a bit too.

I’d reapply for csa showing how little he has them. Even a token award would be something. I wouldn’t pay him £10,000. Be as cheeky as him. I’ve given it to dc as you last paid maintenance in 2015 and the shortfall between full maintenance loan and what she can borrow is £x. Parents are expected to make up gap. If he’s got no money he’s unlikely to take it to court to enforce and if he did then court may not enforce it or may order it paid at a few £ a week.

Oxbridge they can't work term time too much work.

However, terms are only 8 weeks long. There's more than half the year that they won't be there.

And everyone else will be working I'm thr holidays as well.

Unless they are at a super wealthy elite private school then all their friends will have weekend and holiday jobs as well.

You need to think about why you are so opposed to them working.

And then get them to sign up with a temping agency for the holidays

If students do all work nowadays it’s actually because even the full loan (or part loan with parental contribution) isn't enough to live on in most parts of the country now. Things have changed and everything is more expensive, particularly rent and food so the fact that people managed when they were students without parental help doesn't mean that students can manage now. The cognitive dissonance among those who think parents can't possibly afford to contribute even if they are on relatively high incomes but students will easily be able to work enough cover most of their living costs as well as study is quite laughable.

Don’t mean to be rude but you don’t appear open to any suggestions made by PP.

Your choices are fairly fixed:

• earn more yourself to cover it
• lower your costs to cover it (interest only mortgage/extend the term)
• or they get jobs to cover it

What else do you think is going to happen? It’s naive to think grades would be affected because someone works PT at uni.

I think you are naive to think it never impacts on grades. Of course it does sometimes. It depends on the course and the amount of paid work the student is doing. At the moment if parents don't contribute and the student only receives a minimum loan they will end up having to work a lot to live and that may well effect their course work.