To think Mumsnet makes you more anxious?

[Mrandmrsbrown]

While it’s great if you have a specific question or concern, I’ve realised that general browsing on mumsnet leaves me feeling anxious/wound up. Has anyone else found this? Can’t quite work out why but I think I definitely need to wean myself off it/ restrict my time on here.

Well anxious and wound up are very different things

MN has never made me feel anxious, although I think many on here suffer with anxiety and many other more social disorders therefore it might make them feel more anxious by feeding into their pre-existing issues.

Wound up - definitely, I’m not a typical MNer, and often it winds me up so I come off and on again, the site is going downhill and there are now many other options for younger, professional parents so the site at some point will become a full echo chamber (whereas currently it’s 50/50)

Never found this tbh. You obviously need to take a break or give up altogether.

Wound up? Yes,a little. It is making me dislike the women here. Women who leap to make judgements about others. Women who believe in the supreme sanctity of their personal space. Anybody who can drum up the energy to worry about manspreading. I think a lot of these concerns are taken to extreme.

What are the other options for younger professional parents? Genuine question as I think I may fall into that category (depending on how it’s defined 😁).

It's never left feeling anxious tbh, anxious about what?

Some of the posts wind me up, for various reasons, but I just stop reading them.

Media generally seems designed these to to make people more anxious - if you took everything the BBC, Daily Mail or Guardian churn out seriously you'd be a gibbering wreck.

Mumsnet is generally pretty benign however much of the discussion bored is a about people with specific problems some of which are very unpleasant and possibly drives people to thinking these sort of things are more prevalent than the actually are.

I generally enjoy reading the responses of the posters on here and have seen some very good advice offered

@cherrytreelanecherries there are several peanut groups that fit the bill for me personally, the WFH UK group has been great since I started in my current role as it’s helpful to discuss the many parenting related issues that crop up when your home/work spaces merge.

some of the UK version of what to expect are good, and I dare say even netmums is often a lot more my vibe than here these days. I struggle with the anti trans sentiment on here and the dated views most often perpetuated outside of the niche MN topics about specific issues.

Thank you!

I know what you mean, OP. It also makes me worry that my DH is having an affair! 😆 The relationships section is stressful.

It used to be amazing here. Now, I only really like the Creepy threads on the Unexplained board. But you'd need a map to find that buried in the awful, awful, way-too-long list of topics.

It’s true of all social media, it’s been shown that Facebook and Instagram use make people feel more depressed. Be careful how much you’re on any social media!

With Mumsnet, try to stay in the positive areas and away from AIBU. My solution is usually to read the OP and reply to the OP but not ‘read the full thread’ as there’s always so much nastiness in it.

Mumsnet makes me feel less lonely (and helps me learn interesting news days before they’re in the news) but there are a lotta toxic peope here too. You need a strategy for avoiding them, for me it’s to only read the OP.

It’s the media and social media in general. It’s very refreshing to just stop reading stuff and have no idea what’s going on because most of it will pass and not affect you anyway.
and just come off Twitter if you are on there as it’s just the same bunch of people arguing with each other continuously. It’s an argument that will never end. It reminds me of the race in Alice in Wonderland where everyone wins and everyone gets prizes ( although in reverse)
Most journalists and commentators etc on Twitter seem deeply horrible people imo.it brings out the worst in people, Mumsnet by comparison is utopia 😁

No, not anxious exactly …

It’s made me aware of certain patterns of behaviour. And more aware of the necessity for assertiveness and not being a doormat.

I’ve been astonished to find that most posters (so maybe not a fair representation of readers or the wider population) seem to consume huge amounts of processed food and buy clothes at the same half dozen high street shops. After a few awkwardly surprising thread encounters I’m now a bit more circumspect about sharing my consumer choices!

I can say that after a week or two away from here it can seem rather overwhelmingly negative when I return. So I’m sometimes tempted to flounce. But there are a few things I’d really miss - on the whole it’s an entertaining and informative thing in my life.

@Mrandmrsbrown
Realistically it could be debated that the news is not much different, although on here less of an official narrative.

Sometimes I'm more active othertimes I prefer to come off for a bit. It's a mix really

Interesting thread.
It’s the old fashioned views around parenting young children, e.g. time out and controlled crying, that make me feel like I’m not on the right forum for my interests …
I wonder if it’s partly people who had children a v long time ago posting?

Depends on the topic, there have been surveys done on AIBU and the majority of posters were in the 55-75 age category, which does feed into the common parenting tropes seen and they are often very outdated.

many on here joined when the site started, so have late teens/kids in their early 20’s, and are older than most new parents.

50/50
In general I like it but there's sooo much doom mongering and outrage in places.

I don’t generally feel anxious browsing mumsnet. I’d say it makes me feel less anxious to see threads like ‘Cutted up Pear’ where everyone’s toddlers are contrary. I don’t think I’d stay if I felt anxious. MN has made me feel more robust and less sensitive lol.

@PoundOfNesh - I am late 50s and think I have a mix of old and new views on child raising.

I don't believe people should smack their children (very common in my childhood when even the cane was still being used but nor do I believe in having new fangled unproven racial and social theories on the school curriculum

Yes. I think being over-exposed to so many conflicting opinions can be unhelpful, as it leaves you feeling that whatever you do someone will judge you. And perhaps they will, but I prefer not to think about it.

It’s never left me feeling anxious. Even if I post a few times on a thread, I’m not usually invested enough to feel wound up. I assume most threads are made up or exaggerated anyway.

The only things that piss me off are people that post a load of bullshit excuses or getting rid of their dog, usually there’s a new cuter baby in the picture and reading between the lines, the dog is no longer needed to entertain them and they just can’t be arsed. They make me feel angry.

for

Yeah sometimes it does get to me. Usually when I see someone being slated for being a carer and poor, because that used to be me and it makes me wild with anger. I notice it when I start posting loads and then I log out for a bit and change my username. I don't get in fights or anything but I notice myself posting in haste and I have to have a word with myself and realise nobody ever won a fight online: you lose just by taking part.

I hide AIBU from time to time, and I have the Covid and Brexit fight clubs permanently hidden. Much nicer site for it.

100% it can make me more anxious. I've taken long breaks from Mumsnet and other social media platforms and it helps my overall mental health every time.

I can kind of see where you are coming from. I like to think I'm pretty level headed and often come away thanking God Imso normal compared to so many people on here! If half of what I read is true there are some very selfish uptight, daft people out there. But then I see some really funny, decent, normalpeople too.

One area I have totally stepped away from is relationships. I am single and the amount of hate for men on there is crazy. Everything is a red flag and all men are bastards.
Despite my generally ability to take things online with a pinch of salt it was starting to creep into my mind and make me despair. I understand some women have has horrible experiences, sometimes with more than one ex partner but I refuse to believe that all men, half the population are incapable of being nice and normal.