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AIBU?

to think the amount of money im left with by the end of the month is ridiculous?

416 replies

yellowcheesepie · 15/10/2022 13:36

I recently went back to work after mat leave and am sat here wondering how on earth this is worth it ?! after paying all my bills of food, rent, electricity, water, internet, netflix, phone, commute and childcare etc i'm only left with £200 a month to save? i'm not a big spender either, all my income goes on the mentioned above plus £100 spending allowance for myself.

I'm not trying to rant, but i'd like to understand how other working mums do it? is this a reasonable amount to save per month or is there something very wrong in my finances? I live with my DH and we split all bills / expenses if anyone is wondering

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1265 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
81%
You are NOT being unreasonable
19%
Davethecat2001 · 15/10/2022 15:27

I suspect we won't see the OP again.

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Anytimeiseeit · 15/10/2022 15:30

Some people will have a lot more than this and some will have a lot less.
I think there are 2 things on this thread that have got some peoples backs up. 1 is that there are so many people worried about paying bills etc at the moment that the post fees a bit tone deaf.
the second is that the op seems surprised at how little money she has left, almost as if she hadn’t realised how much nursery would cost. Childcare is indeed v expensive but it shouldn’t come as a surprise to someone who has planned properly. (Accidental pregnancy aside)

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Minniem2020 · 15/10/2022 15:31

When I go back to work after mat leave I won't even have the £100 to spend, never mind £200 to save. You're lucky.

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Topgub · 15/10/2022 15:31

@ReturnOfTheMacdonalds

No one is acting like the op is minted.

Just that realistically, having some disposable income and some savings is ok.

And definitely worth working for.

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Nursemumma92 · 15/10/2022 15:31

For those saying it's not a race to the bottom, I agree it's not but to many of us families working full time and living wage to wage each month, it's sole destroying hearing people say that having £300 extra each month is not that much... it is these days, I never had that much each month left over 10 years ago, pre children, pre saving for a house. Yes that extra money is soon eaten up by birthdays, Christmas etc but you just have to budget better if you want to have more left over. Loads of us can't budget any better, work more hours etc...
I agree we shouldn't accept a poor quality of life but to work full time with a child in childcare and still have that left over at the end of the month... be fucking grateful!

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JustaPOV · 15/10/2022 15:35

I’d say it was worth it, to have money left over at the end of the month is a bonus. Where would you be financially if you weren’t working and solely relying on your partner’s wage?

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Littlebluedinosaur · 15/10/2022 15:38

Does your husband pay for half of the childcare?

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theworldhas · 15/10/2022 15:38

@mummybearcub2022
This is supposedly a first world country, its not much to ask to have a decent standard of living that stretches more to than just covering the bills

The reality is throat the vast majority of the planet do little more than cover their bills, and the majority of people in the so called first world are no different. The most notable advantages of living in the West and a few other developed countries is stiff like: decent schools, low crime, good fee/cheap healthcare.

Unfortunately the right wing ideologies of Thatcher/Reagan et al triumphed, which meant that we as societies (though in truth globally) put the acquisition of extreme wealth and fame on a pedestal as the holy grail - as opposed to the achievement of a balanced lifestyle, valued and satisfying work, and strong/cohesive community and society….

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Whatevernext1 · 15/10/2022 15:40

I would love this to be my problem! On payday I'm left with around £32 which is supposed to last me the month to buy petrol and food.

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keepingwarm5623 · 15/10/2022 15:40

I would say that is quite a good position to be in. When my DC were small by the time we had covered bills and childcare we didn't save anything. It is only now they are teens I am able to live more comfortably. I think being able to save huge amounts whilst in the stage of life that involves young DC and childcare bills is actually quite unusual.

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Fuckitydoodah · 15/10/2022 15:42

Is that £200 leftover after your bills and £100 to spend on yourself? If so, I imagine a lot of people would be absolutely delighted with that. I know I would.

Yabu

I feel like this has been posted just to upset people 😕

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VladmirsPoutine · 15/10/2022 15:44

The responses on this thread show you exactly why the country is in the state its in. "You mean you get to have jam with your gruel!?! Then why are you complaining!!! We only have dust with ours and there's 7 mouths to feed!!"

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jennakong · 15/10/2022 15:45

How much does your husband have left? Surely if you are both saving £200 a month that's a decent amount, nearly £5000 a year. Or are you saving for a deposit by any chance?

Just watch the DWP guidelines on capital if you are, because you are not allowed to claim full Child Tax Credit if your savings amount to more than £6000, think it is reduced at a tapering rate. I think it's a bit unfair on couples trying to scratch a deposit together, though others will have differing views of course.

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WhereYouLeftIt · 15/10/2022 15:46

"after paying all my bills of food, rent, electricity, water, internet, netflix, phone, commute and childcare etc"

"I live with my DH and we split all bills / expenses"

All expenses? Including childcare? I ask because some fathers couples somehow see this as purely the mother's expenses, from some twisted idea that childcare only has to be paid for because you're going back to work so it's a 'personal' cost not a household cost.

If childcare costs are shared - good, that's as it should be. And you just have to grit your teeth to get through the early years and stick at work, because as well as your immediate salary you are accruing pension and experience that will keep you promotable. Do NOT see it as 'only £200' - pension, promotions, these are the long-term benefits that are just as, if not more, important.

If childcare costs are NOT shared - give your head a wobble and get that cost SHARED. It's a household cost, you both have to shoulder it. And remember - pension and promotions. Do not exclude yourself from either.

Bear in mind that childcare is not 'free' for stay-at-home parents either. Its cost is BORROWED from future pension and promoted earnings - and that loan is NEVER repaid.

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Canthave2manycats · 15/10/2022 15:51

My three children are aged 19-25 and for many years while they were in childcare, I could never have saved any money. I basically worked for my pension for years. However, we would have been much worse off if I hadn't had any income and I'd have lost my independence. Now I'm approaching 60, and I am very glad that I hung on in there.

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Eatmycake3333 · 15/10/2022 15:51

A op joins the first post brigade lol 😂

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HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 15/10/2022 15:52

Ignore rude posters OP.

Does your husband pay 50%of the childcare and a position of the bills which is a percentage of his wages rather then 50/50?

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Echobelly · 15/10/2022 15:53

I used to feel a bit like that, then realised most people I know with similar complains were left with under £70 a month over and realised I was doing well if I had £100-200

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Winterthoughts · 15/10/2022 15:54

LadyKenya · 15/10/2022 13:43

That is more than some people have at the end of the month. That is of no help to you though, I know that. Life unfortunately is getting more difficult financially for so many people.

It's not much less than some people get at the start of the month (on Universal Credit)

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MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/10/2022 15:56

you are being ridiculous @yellowcheesepie
and you have not returned to the thread, as far as i can see Hmm

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RovenderKitt · 15/10/2022 15:58

How much do you think you should have left over every month?

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Lovemusic33 · 15/10/2022 16:02

I manage to save £80 a month (£20 a week) 😬, so being able to save £200 seems reasonable to me.

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OMG12 · 15/10/2022 16:05

most People work just to live. Yes it’s weird, but 99% of human society is fucking bizarre when you break it down.

id say £200 left over is fine, things will get better too when childcare costs melt away

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ClimbingCancelled · 15/10/2022 16:06

£300 a month is £3600 a year. And then your kids are at school that will stretch to maybe £9k per year savings.
Yes there's way more stress right now but think of the 5 year plan, the pension pot (what happens if you and DH split).

Make sure your DH are you are splitting the cost of childcare. If he won't do it then you pay for 2.5 days a week and he will need to work part-time to look after the kids the other 2.5 days.

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jane1956 · 15/10/2022 16:07

Netflix is NOT essential get rid

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