to think the amount of money im left with by the end of the month is ridiculous?

[yellowcheesepie]

I recently went back to work after mat leave and am sat here wondering how on earth this is worth it ?! after paying all my bills of food, rent, electricity, water, internet, netflix, phone, commute and childcare etc i'm only left with £200 a month to save? i'm not a big spender either, all my income goes on the mentioned above plus £100 spending allowance for myself.

I'm not trying to rant, but i'd like to understand how other working mums do it? is this a reasonable amount to save per month or is there something very wrong in my finances? I live with my DH and we split all bills / expenses if anyone is wondering

The system is truly crap though OP, do you follow Pregnant then screwed on SM?

I just keep thinking at least when childcare is out of the way (inc wrap around) surely we’ll have a bit more left each month 🤞🏻

A spending allowance and savings! most are choosing to eat or fuel their car. You’re doing really well if you can save.

The cost of living is scary.

But yabu to be shocked at the price of childcare and wait until your first paychecks to realise how experience havoa child is!

Friends had warned me, I'd read the news, seem Mumsnet etc.

10hours a day of childcare isn't cheap! But then again he's my precious DS and I'd pay an arm and a leg for the right gadgets for him, so paying someone suitabily qualified and a good place I was happy to leave him also important. Even back then it was about £70/day. However a bit of basic research before you have kids could've prepared you for that.

I think I had £20 a day left over after costs when I went back to work. No it's not financially worth while at that point in time. But you have to make the choice to suck it up for the short term to keep your job for the long term or quit and hopefully get a job later on when childcare isn't so expensive.

But I also think childcare providers are worth the money. The responsibility of looking after someone else's child is huge. I only want the best looking after my prescious boy, not the cheapest and worst. You can't have both ways. Also having kids is our responsibility and usually a choice. It's not the government responsibility to subsidise it - the population is increasing too much as it is. It's just one of the costs of having a child - just like making sure they've clothes, food and a bed to sleep in its our responsibility to pay for suitable care if we aren't doing it ourselves.

I voted YABU simply for the reason that the OP included Netflix as one of those boring bills that are a necessity stopping her from having more money for herself. You don't have to have Netflix. If you spend your money on one nice-to-have, you won't have it left to spend on other nice-to-haves!

Yeah, that whole £15 a month to stay in and watch films because you don’t hVe enough to go out!

How very dare she!

So you have £300 a month left over after bills?…quick! Someone fetch my tiny violin.

when I went back after maternity I had to step down & take a pay cut, I didn’t have any ‘me’ money left at the end of the month & I’m sure there’s so many people who didn’t/& still don’t.

I think you should be grateful you have money to save

Yeah, you've spectacularly missed the point!
Of course she can have Netflix if she wants. But it's ridiculous to spend money on something enjoyable and then complain that you don't have any money to spend on enjoyable things. If people could actually recognize what they spend their money on for what it is, they'd be a lot more satisfied in life.

I don’t think that having £300 left at the end of the month is great for all the hard work during the month however most people don’t have that.
I think the way the question is worded and how op is viewing her return to work is the issue. Before having her DC, the op would have had the nursery fee as her personal spending money/ savings so having to part with it now on nursery will make it look like working is not worth it. But what you need to realise is that if you don’t work, your other bills will still have to be paid one way or the other and also, you won’t have the £300 extra as well.
That’s how I viewed the childcare paying years, I knew it was for a short time and afterwards, I have the extra money to myself. In that time as well, you might have had promotions, etc

You are not alone OP. A lot of people are struggling with rising costs now. If you ask me, I'd say of course it's worth it...if you didn't work, you'll be saving only on childcare costs...but you'll still have to pay other bills which will presumably go from your DH's salary? Also if you are at home constantly your energy usage might go up...So you'll be potentially struggling more than you are now...and You'll have to depend on your husband for everything. Your job is giving you independence, some child free time and a safety net if your DH looses his job for any reason. I'd look at other things, such as do you like your job? Is the commute too much? And May be look at ways to up-skill yourself and increase your earnings.

I don’t think that a Netflix subscription is here nor there.

Same school of thought as ‘you’ve bought too many avocados to save up a house deposit’

Yawn!

Netflix costs £10 or so a month? If you can't afford to go out socialising you may as well enjoy some decent dramas! I think some people confuse it with an £80 Sky contract. And I agree that it's the new 'you'd have a house if you didn't eat so many avocadoes'.

Same school of thought as ‘you’ve bought too many avocados to save up a house deposit’

Nah! Same school of thought as "Wah! I've spent all my spare money on clothes this month and it's not fair because I wanted to spend my spare money on shoes".

But feel free to carry on being obtuse.

Of course!

But if you choose to spend your money on Netflix (and why not? I do) or indeed any other nice little extras (as Netflix is just being used as an example here to represent nice little extras), then those are just that - nice little extras you're enjoying. It's a choice you make but I think it's odd to then complain that you don't have as much left to save as you'd like. In simple terms if you spend your money, you can't still have it to save.

But the 'Have-your-cake-and-eat-it' brigade are out in force today.

Keep thinking it's odd then.

There's a free little past time for you to enjoy.

£200!? I wish I had anything spare at the end of a month!

The relevant thing here is how much your DH has left to spend. I've not read the whole thread but I bet he's expecting you to pick up childcare fees?

Totally agree.

OP, don't worry the new chancellor has made sure that after April the average houshold (i.e. 2.4 people) will see energy bills rise to £4000 so people here will be happy for you having ZERO to save. Get real OP and slap yourself, how dare you want to have savings to repair the boiler one day or bring the plumber?

You're lucky you have £200 to save. I don't even have that, and I'm not paying nursery/childcare.

I’m not being obtuse.
It’s about 30p per day to get Netflix.
30p.

Do you even know what obtuse means? Because my comment wasn’t an example
of that.

OP, get rid of Netflix.

You’ll have <3% more money if you do, but potentially miss out on 30 hours of TV/film.

Such a rip off that £10 per month for Netflix!

How very dare you complain about no money when you are so profligate with your TV watching.

Do you even know what obtuse means? Because my comment wasn’t an example
of that.

Of course!
Obtuse = annoyingly slow to understand. I've explained my comments clearly but you persist in thinking I mean something quite different.
Why? What on earth did you think it meant?

This is nothing new - was the same when my three children (19-25 now) were small. I don't know where this idea comes about that it's not for long - our children's ages were such that we had at least one child in childcare for 18 years! Childcare for 3 cost around 3 x our mortgage.

Thing was, when each child moved on to the next stage and needed p/t care during term time, the rates went up so we weren't saving all that much - plus the 10% discount in the nursery for more than one full-time child went as well. To add to that, then all the activities started - the swimming, the ballet, the musical instruments, yada yada yada - never felt like you could get your head above water... and then they are all grown up and gone (to uni, in our case, so more parental expense!)

I understand how the OP feels - and it's a shame she hasn't felt able to post again - because it's a hell of a shock to your system, when you realise you are committed to paying a huge amount of your salary out for childcare, for years! No matter how much you might think you have taken it into account in your budgeting.

£300 is a shit amount to have left over, no matter what that represents to someone else - I've always felt that people need an incentive to work, a treat each month if you like, because the daily grind is pretty shitty! Children are hugely expensive though, but it is worth keeping your hand in with work. If your marriage broke up, or your husband lost his job, or worse, then you would be left in a massively difficult situation. Pension is another important consideration, even though it's something that seems very far away in your childbearing years.

Maybe it's time women stopped arguing with other women, accepted that there's fuck all support for working parents, and did something about it??

Comparing Netflix to the clothes/shoes example you give is false equivalence. They are not remotely the same thing.

The OP hasn’t actually run out of money either, she’s just lamenting what she has left.

When babies are little, snd you’re working, the costs are high as you’ll have baby milk plus all the nappies and the cost of child care is high. Once they’re off baby milk, out if nappies and have some funded hours, you’ll be much more quids in. Plus during these years you’re continuing to work, you’re building up your pension pot and experience. Crucial time in your working life.

When I was paying for child care I had £100 from my salary after the childcare bill and that was my entire contribution to all other monthly expenses for the family!

we ended up borrowing some money off our mortgage to get us through it! Only about £100 a month but it was still £1500 over time.

was it worth it? Didn’t feel like it at the time - but I needed it for my sanity! & it’s certainly been worth it in the long run for my career.

you need to think about the long game - not just 12-24 months!
but you also need to do what’s right for you. Your job/career and future aspirations.