Dh ...annoyimg habit.

[Mellowday]

Ďh is a lovely man.
He has , what is to me a very annoying newly developed habit.
When he has eaten , he gets up and leaves the chair at the table sticking out from when he has stood up.
If i am out etc i come home and there it is the one chair just stuck out.i am a v visual person and it looks really untidy . . He says he tries his best as he knows it annoys me , but i need to accept that he will prob forget and he tries and the occasional forgetting , say 4 times a week which it is at least. I know in the scheme of things i should just put it under , but if i do that he will think he has done it and keep leaving it. I realise this is so small but it drives me mad and i want to saw a leg off the chair 🤣.
On this basis if i left the lights on all night or the fridge door open all night would be just have to accept it .?
As he asks me to do with this.? I know i will have annoying habits , and i accept his other ones, but this gives me the rage ? Aibu to ask for help?!!!!! Grr .
Plus does anyone elses dh have habits that really annoy ?!

If you saw a leg off the chair it will just make it wonky which will annoy you more as there will be one wonky, unusable chair and one sticking out.

That was a joke ! 🤣

My DH does this exact same thing.
We have a kitchen diner with not much room to spare so I just don’t understand how he doesn’t notice he’s left his dining chair literally in the middle of the room.

If you find a way to train your DH out of it then please let me know!

Crikey, how perfect is your house if you even notice a chair sticking out. Just glanced at the dining room and one is half way out and another is at a 45 degree angle for some reason. Wouldn’t have noticed otherwise, not through the rest of the chaos.

Well one day i must admit i took the chair away!.
It brought it into his conciusness for about a day.
I dont get why they can do it in cafes tho.

Work on yourself and letting this one go. It’s not the same as the fridge door being open as it doesn’t ruin food, and it doesn’t cost anything in electricity so not like the lights either - which I’d also see as annoying but forgivable if cost of electric wasn’t a problem. Little things like this are the compromises we make I think.

Yes, obviously. Which is why my reply was lighthearted.

Not my dh but I have a cousin who leaves cupboard doors open. Used to make my aunty go nuts.

I’d agree to try and live with this or just push it in.

I live alone and I annoy myself that I constantly leave the kitchen cabinet doors open. Even after making a cup of tea I can find 3 open! I know I do it and should be able to close a simple door, yet years later it’s still happening!

Work on yourself and letting this one go. It’s not the same as the fridge door being open as it doesn’t ruin food, and it doesn’t cost anything in electricity so not like the lights either

100%. you need to get over this. Living with a partner needs compromise and I'm sure you must do stuff that's irritating.

If you get annoyed, work on your emotions as I think your reaction is the issue not the chair.

Talipesmum i agree i need to as i can feel it really agitating me . ( i cant understand why he just does not do it as he knows id really appriciate it . I think i see it as not caring about it uosetting me / its a common curtesy ( he does put it under at other folks houses so why not ours)
To be honest i need to but i have got into a bit of a reaction with this one .. how to work on self? !

Thanks i will try.! Its become a real flash point.
As i said when i got cross the other day i simply moved the chair to anothee room rathee rhan look at it .

This is intresting. I cant say my condition as may be outing , but its one that has issues with emotional regulation( impulsivity etc )

Yep, mine does it when we're eating out too so I push it in after him. Making a cup of tea he'll pull the tea and sugar containers out then just leave them in the middle of the worktop. Drives me mad.
Oh and the toilet roll can't go back on the toilet roll holder, it goes on the shelf unit behind the toilet. I'm considering ltb😁

LTB

Mine puts chairs back at other peoples houses and cafes tho !
Omg the loo roll . Mine too. But i dont get cross re that just the damm chair !

Mine leaves his chair out blocking my way out of the dining room. Takes his tablets in the morning and leaves the box on the counter. Looks for a recipe and leaves the book out. Leaves cupboard doors and drawers open.
It's like his brain says "job done" so he just walks away.

Bloody infuriating!

I too think of it as not listening or not caring . Even if he doesn't see the problem, why can't he do it just to oblige me ? This and many others is why I LTB.

Turn his chair upside down every time it's left out, or put the chair on his pillow.

Every time you get out of his car just walk away leaving the car door open and say you forgot.

Tbf though mine does the chair thing too and I just push it back in without being too annoyed by it or seeking revenge.

Charge him a fee.

Part of me wants to do that with the chair or , say , the car door.
However, he would see it as childish / retaliation and say so.
Ive actually said i will have to do something to make this change but he says he does his best and that way would not help at all.

Ive asked.
Ive begged.
Ive got cross.
Ive moved the dam chair.
Ive put a note on the table today
Still does it.

Why do they do it ?

My gorgeous, wonderful, amazing husband frequently leaves his office chair sticking out just enough that I trip over it and, gorgeous wonderful and amazing though he is, it makes me want to throttle him.

I, however, frequently leave my dressing gown and slippers lying around in odd places in the house, and I know it drives him batshit.

It's just marriage. If this is your biggest problem, you're doing ok. If you're actually rowing about this though you need to have a word with yourself.