Dh ...annoyimg habit.

[Mellowday]

Ďh is a lovely man.
He has , what is to me a very annoying newly developed habit.
When he has eaten , he gets up and leaves the chair at the table sticking out from when he has stood up.
If i am out etc i come home and there it is the one chair just stuck out.i am a v visual person and it looks really untidy . . He says he tries his best as he knows it annoys me , but i need to accept that he will prob forget and he tries and the occasional forgetting , say 4 times a week which it is at least. I know in the scheme of things i should just put it under , but if i do that he will think he has done it and keep leaving it. I realise this is so small but it drives me mad and i want to saw a leg off the chair 🤣.
On this basis if i left the lights on all night or the fridge door open all night would be just have to accept it .?
As he asks me to do with this.? I know i will have annoying habits , and i accept his other ones, but this gives me the rage ? Aibu to ask for help?!!!!! Grr .
Plus does anyone elses dh have habits that really annoy ?!

Ive said please do it it upsets me.
Ive said please do it it really agrivates me. ( makes him look like man child who cant do stuff when he can )

Wait until you have kids! You'll really want to throttle him then lol

Shahira78 we hae adult dc . They put the the
Chair under!!!

If I think my dh is being unreasonable/an arsehole about something I do, I do it more.

🤷‍♀️

Dc were taught to do it and put knife and fork together when finishing a meal. Easy peasy to teach a dc common curtesy!🙂

Topgub i do wonder if he thinks that about me . Hence he keeps doing it. However, i asked nicely many many times.

I used to leave kitchen cupboards open and it drove DH mad. I have now trained myself to close them, but it took literally years! It was surprisingly hard, even though I knew it bothered him and wasn't deliberately trying to upset him. It's easier to train children as they haven't developed habits yet so they can be moulded.

The thing is he says he is doing hos best n that needs to be good enough.
My view is , its not hard just to put a chair away after y self .

@Mellowday

I get both sides of it.

He's being unreasonable not putting the chair back especially when he knows it upsets you

You are being unreasonable for letting it upset you.

AnnapurnaSanctuary, hope he does.
The thing is , its a new habit. He used to do it .

Hmm that's weirder then.

I'm guilty of leaving cupboard doors open too! Drives DP mad but then he puts books back on bookcase with the spines facing inwards and this is a far bigger crime. We have a bookcase for the kids so theres a lot of books to tidy up. Worse is that my 4 year old is doing it too

Does he have ADHD? Because this is me 😅My brain thinks "Eating done! Let's go!" and I go, leaving chaos in my wake.

You know you're going to have to divorce him right? It's the only answer to the chair problem

I leave cupboard doors open. Drives dh batty. Dont do it on purpose and I do try to remember

Scoose he did shout at me saying maybe i need to do that because he does not think he can change.
No, he does not have adhd. Actually ,i do. Thats why i find this so hard because i have to work so so hard at habits , rountines . It wd be absolute chaos otherwise.
So i know that you cN change habits .. because mine wd be to drop post on the floor, hyperfocus all day, not cook our evening meal .i do it to improve our lives .

Those who leave cupboars
D doors open. Watch out for the top ones . A gd friend of mine caught her eye on one. Several surgeries later , her sight is still affected . I guess she was just unlucky tho .

Well I am mid-seperation, obviously not entirely due to unpushed-in chairs but it certainly doesn't help. Mine also:

Leaves bath mat on floor every time he has a shower
Does washing up by hand instead of dishwasher but never puts it away
Leaves coffee making stuff out on worktop about five times every day
Moves garden furniture to get his bikes out and just leaves it
Puts sofa cushions on floor when he sits there and leaves them there
Always 4-5 mugs/water glasses on his bedside table
Opens drawers but never closes them
Occasionally does the hoovering buy doesn't put the hoover away afterwards
Occasionally hangs out the washing but doesn't bring it in
Splatters sauce all over the hob every time he cooks and seemingly can't see it

Cannot wait to live alone.

YABVU. This isn’t a problem. This isn’t something he needs to fix.

This is something you need to work on to let it stop bothering you.

It does feel disrespectful, if this is relatively new do you think he’s doing it on purpose? Are there other issues?

Id go and buy myself a pack of wire ties and strap the chairs to the table legs personally.

It’s like a small act of rebellion, a bit passive aggressive 😏

You are in for a treat. I left my H at the beginning of the year and living on my own is the best feeling. I love living without his mess and his habits, especially the tea cups and teaspoons left all over the place and the shoes left right in front of the front door so I have to step over them to get in.

Do you mean men? Because I'm female and I do this. I don't even realise I'm doing it - just giving it some thought because of this thread. I suppose if DP asked me to stop, I would try, but part of me would think 'who made you the boss of where the chair sits?'😅 I certainly don't do it maliciously.

My husband just abandons his shoes in the middle of the room. I then trip over them while I'm carrying washing /shopping etc as that is exactly where you DONT expect shoes to be abandoned. I actually started taking photos every time I noticed a pair of shoes just left in the middle of the rooms, hall ways etc. I did raise it with him but he was like " I haven't got a clue what you are on about!". Then I tripped over his shoes that were placed directly outside the bedroom door at the top of the stairs and broke three toes. Miracle it wasn't wise tbh. I put a status up on Facebook and shared all the pictures of the invisible man wearing my DHs shoes and that the cheeky git ( invisible man) had tried to push me down the stairs. My friends thought it was hilarious that we had an invisible man and he was really embarrassed. He stopped doing it immediately and his shoes now live in the hall.

Urgh, this would drive me insane too!

I also hate empty loo rolls, things on the floor that are never picked up, things on the stairs waiting to go up that are never taken up, recycling that's never taken out and just left on the side, the dishwasher that never gets emptied...it's a real bastard living on your own sometimes!