To agree with Uber parent her kids are vastly superior.

[Joshanddonna]

Last night I went to a talk about Year 13 at my kids school and I sat next to a woman I've known since my DS started reception. Let me tell you that her children are highly superior to anyone elses. They run, they write books, they read Shakespeare for fun, they all learn multiple instruments, speak several languages and even walk in a vastly superior way to anyone else on the planet (probably even on water).
You can't have a conversation with her she just talks at you.... regaling you with their achievements. If you try to interject with anything your kids have done she will interupt and tell you hers did it so much better.
My DS is lovely and doing well. Her DS is heading for Oxford and sainthood.
So I sat and listened as she spoke about this golden child and at the end agreed he was indeed a superhero and I didn't know why I even bothered talking to my DS.
My DH - who when he saw her grabbed DS and moved to another part of the hall - said I shouldn’t have said it. But that is what she wanted to hear and now I hope she will never speak to me again.
What do people like this want you to say?!

@Pertinentowl Can we be best mates?!
i am the same! My boys are stuck with a tediously feminist, SJW mother who insists that they learn the full spectrum of ungendered life skills, treat people as human beings, and are fully aware of their various privileges lol nightmare

I tell my DC that I am proud of them all the time, although I tend to focus more on their personal attributes like kindness etc. rather than their exam grades. I value that much more that their academic achievements anyway. I would never have been disappointed in them if they hadn't achieved top grades but I would have been very disappointed if they had turned out unpleasant people. I think by not being boastful, you are teaching them modesty and that is very important, particularly if you are a high-achiever. They can grow up accomplished and self-confident but also kind and humble.

I'm sure the tomato soup throwers parents felt the same way about them a few years ago.
It ain't over when a kid picks a uni, let's see where they all are at 45 before we judge "success", whatever that is defined as.

I remember one particularly boastful mother at school who said something along the lines of "My children are very, very clever but they come from a very intelligent family so it's no wonder." I couldn't help but respond "Mine really haven't got a hope in hell then." Not sure she even registered though as she was on to the next boast.

Feel sorry for her children. She obviously has no empathy. That is a terrible thing to lack as a parent.

I would have asked her about herself. Does she have nothing going on for her apart from her kids? Well done op. My kids think they are great. Which is another kind of pb. I am waiting for uni to see how it pans out...

Hilarious. You said what everyone wished they could after many years of school runs with this parent it sounds like she broke you. I wonder how the children of these parents feel as they become adults. If they were allowed to make their own choices, hobbies, university etc?

I find these smug mother's are very hard to listen to. I was in the same year as a girl who had a smug mother.
This lady has a few kids. Her kids were good in school but she was pushing them towards
high level university courses and good jobs. Then she have to tell you where her kids were now because obviously they were doing so much better than your kids.
One of her kids nearly got kicked out of boarding school due to their behaviour. She would had to send them to the worse day school in the area if this happened.
Some of her kids had to do their final state exams twice to get into their courses. One of them went abroad to study as they were not bright enough to get the grades needed to study at home.
Two of her children live abroad. One of her children is now just in an ok job.
Another child she pushed towards a certain area as an adult and the child failed here. The smug mum was seen very little at this time.
Now the smug mum is in her 70's. Her children are either abroad or to busy to visit her. Meanwhile she has hardly any friends because people got sick of her boasting and making them feel bad because their kids were not as good as hers. I know people who walk the other way when they see this lady.

Meanwhile another lady I know also had a number of kid's that were bright in school but she only say how they were doing when she was asked. Her kids include a solicitor, a doctor, a pharmacist, another has a degree in the medical field which they work in, another child has a degree and a good job. Her last child is currently a mature student. They went through a bad time but came through it and are now doing well.
Her kids grew up to be nice well grounded adults. They would be like their parents who are both hard workers.

I'm sure you're probably right. Maybe I'm an exception to the rule but I like hearing how well my friends children are doing, especially when I know they've overcome some hurdles.
I feel like it's a mutual exchange most of time.
I know we're all meant to go around being miserable and moaning about our kids to each other but there's no harm in sharing some good news every now and again.

I know one of these…

it is so much cooler for people to find out about achievements than have them foisted on them. I know one mum whose kid is in films and she never mentions it. And when it comes up she’s so lovely about it. Very cool.

Oh I sort of love people like this because I find lack of self awareness quite funny. My strategy is usually just to be really gushing and super interested. Just enough so that they can’t quite tell if you’re being earnest or not.

@MorningMoaner
Haha, yes, grandparents get bitten badly by the bug.

ExMIL used to warble on and on about a certain grandson. The lad was the next Einstein, apparently doing rarefied high school maths that mere mortals could only gasp at.

It turned out that the one granddaughter MIL hated had done the same courses, and all of my DCs had done them too, including DD3 who was the same age as the cousin she was being compared to, and a plodder who always did her homework and had got into the honours track after a distrous elementary school maths teacher experience and two summers of summer school.

The hated granddaughter eventually did a really hard branch of engineering and has never earned less than six figures. The unsung and overlooked sister of the Boy Wonder did the same courses too, and works in a silicone valley company, also raking in the big bucks.

She who laughs last, etc...

(The golden boy is a perfectly nice young man with a business degree, and he never asked MIL to blow his trumpet).

Same, kids have had leading roles in TV series and films but she never mentions it. And not do they. I only find out when I see them in something.same with her actually. Been friends for 15 yrs and never watched her in either the huge movie she was in or the long-running tv series. Lol

Well Liz Truss and Boris Johnson went to Oxford, so I wouldn't assume it's automatically the mark of a successful person 😄

There's a happy medium.
One of my DC plays a couple of sports fairly well and obviously you get to know other parents. They range from those who tell you nothing at all about their offspring's progress until you see something in the news, through those with whom you can have a conversation along the lines of "I see X did really well last Saturday." "Yes, they did, I'm really proud thanks. Good result for your Y too - was that a PB?" to those who frankly never shut up and go on and on incessantly about every detail of their DC's programme and results. I like the middle group. No harm in sharing good news and it's perfectly possible to do so without being negative about others. But a lot of parents aren't very good at finding that balance in my experience.

🤣🤣🤣

As a teacher I can tell you that the worst bragging culprits are rarely the ones with the most gifted children. The parents of truly bright children don't need to brag. They worry about the areas that are important - social skills, friendships - and hide their light under a bushel. It's always lovely when a 'dark horse' blows everyone away in a competition or performance.

Well done you.
Having learned the hard way, I find people like this are best simply avoided!!

The thing is - these child geniuses never seem to end up running the country.

often in life it isn’t the most talented that get to the top. It’s grit and determination and self confidence that seems to be a better indicator of success.

Or likeability and charisma. Not grade 6 flute.

My DM did teacher training and one of the other students did her project about gifted children…the two subjects being her son and daughter!

One ended up in the city and earned hoots of money and the other became semi-famous after Cambridge and Footlights.

So you said all that to her but she didn't even notice so said nothing back?

But your husband noticed/heard and moved away?

Did the whole school stand up and clap by any chance?

No at this point aliens abducted me and a group of tiny antelopes broke into a chorus of Dancing Queen. It was odd but not so anyone commented.

I told him what I’d said.
I walked away so she might have said something.
Ok Morse?! If you want to interview me I’m gonna need a lawyer and the antelopes want some hay and somewhere to put their gold lame platforms. No idea what the aliens are going to need I cannot understand a word of what they’re saying. But I suspect it’s that their kids are cleverer than mine. X

They can run away to some kind of commune together that teaches them that wishing is enough and you don’t have to take action.

That will teach us a lesson since we are only bent on making their life a misery

😂😂😂