To agree with Uber parent her kids are vastly superior.

[Joshanddonna]

Last night I went to a talk about Year 13 at my kids school and I sat next to a woman I've known since my DS started reception. Let me tell you that her children are highly superior to anyone elses. They run, they write books, they read Shakespeare for fun, they all learn multiple instruments, speak several languages and even walk in a vastly superior way to anyone else on the planet (probably even on water).
You can't have a conversation with her she just talks at you.... regaling you with their achievements. If you try to interject with anything your kids have done she will interupt and tell you hers did it so much better.
My DS is lovely and doing well. Her DS is heading for Oxford and sainthood.
So I sat and listened as she spoke about this golden child and at the end agreed he was indeed a superhero and I didn't know why I even bothered talking to my DS.
My DH - who when he saw her grabbed DS and moved to another part of the hall - said I shouldn’t have said it. But that is what she wanted to hear and now I hope she will never speak to me again.
What do people like this want you to say?!

YWNBU but you do realise that this kind of boring boasting comes from a place of huge insecurity. I find it all a bit sad really, but agree that it’s incredibly tedious when you’re not in the mood, so if your reply has put her off good for you. I strongly suspect though that she’ll just carry on as normal next time too though…

This hides insecurity and desperation I find.

Plus half the time it's presenting a view that's not even accurate. I had a couple of friends who always made out like their offspring were the next Einstein so I always kept quiet about mine. Then when GCSE results came out I discovered that while they had undoubtedly done well, they certainly hadn't got 9s across the board or anything like. Made me realise that perhaps their offspring were just doing really well compared to how their parents had done!

I used to know a woman like that. A couple of her children have rebelled very spectacularly. One of them is desperately unhappy

Give me my imperfect kids any day

You’re right but I do have friends whose kids excel and things and it’s wonderful. My best friends daughter completed at the Commonwealth games and I was as excited for her as if it was my own child. And DS has a lovely friend who got a scholarship at a private school for A-levels because he is a blooming genius. His mum is lovely and just very proud.
I know I’m being a bit mean it’s just she is so so so superior! And it had been a really really long day.

We had a family of very high achievers in our town when I was growing up. They spoke several languages , played several instruments, went to a very prestigious private school, all finished school years ahead of their peers. Went to university early, obtained degrees, masters, doctorates etc etc . Some of them went on to be very successful adults and the others are broken and miserable from it all. Last year I met one guy working in a gaming shop and he looked like he hated life. I felt sorry for him really.
Same with a guy a few years above me , he was ridiculously good looking, good at sport etc and he was everyone's crush. The poor guy is now living half rough with unkempt hair and a beard. Has horrible mental health issues as does his equally beautiful and talented sister.

The higher the pedestal the bigger the fall.

Ive been on here many years and have lost count of the number of posters who describe themselves as very beautiful, struggle with the effects of aging and becoming invisible and how badly it effects their mental health because all they have ever been is beautiful, and if they are no longer that - what are they? I imagine even intelligence wise, and so incredibly accomplished at such a young age can be similar - especially if her ds lands in a pool of equally accomplished students at Oxford - if your no longer the best and most brilliant - then what are you? What is your identity? And then, as time goes on, someone younger, fresher, will always come along and take that crown as the next child prodigy.
be brilliant, be amazing, achieve well but always be humble because being superior will never succeed long term.

I'm just always surprised as according to Mumsnet where complaints about this sort of parent are rife, there are loads of incredibly braggy parents everywhere.

But I can honestly say I've only met one properly properly constantly bragging parent and she didn't fit the profile here at all - she wasn't bragging about mega showy achievements like straight 9 grades or her kid being top grades on like 5 instruments, she'd brag constantly about star of the week, or scoring a goal in a little local footie game, or one of her kids getting a little walk on part in a local amdram production. Like really ordinary stuff, lovely for the child, but nothing noteworthy but my goodness were the social media posts constant!

Maybe I'm not hanging out with the right 'set' 😂 but I've never met any of these parents bragging about a genius child, in my experience those parents don't say a word as if they ever say anything people are horrible to them.

She sounds horrendous. The only person I ever boast about my kids achievements to is my mum because she bloody loves it.

She wants you to agree that her children are indeed superior as it makes her feel better about the life that she's clearly living behind closed doors.

Can you imagine being married to one of her kids? Never good enough, can't do anthing properly or right🤔🙄

That is hilarious, and as the mother of a child with learning difficulties I can tell you I do feel some secret amusement at what you said because I am so damned sick of feeling envious of other families with children who can do regular sort of stuff (never mind super hero stuff!).

(Just to add, my boy is perfect the way he is and I adore him. But I wish his life eas easier for him).

But some of it resonated. My mother constantly boasted about me and my sister. Just endless shit about how wonderful we were; how academic; how musical how talented. To the point that others called us sneeringly as 'The Golden Sisters'. It was horrible. Firstly it was horrible because it immediately made other children and adults dislike us, even though WE were not the ones wanging on. Secondly it was awful because it put untold pressure on us to be perefct as that was what our mother valued. (we both have MH issues from that and the constant feeling of never being enough for her) and thirdly it was bizarre because my mother was in real life a barely functioning alcoholic who physically and emotionally abused us so it was sort of baffling to have the 'how wonderful' narrative to others and then being screamed at that we were disgusting little shits who deserved to die.

So I guess my main feeling is worry for the perfect children. What pressures are they under? What expectations, and what happens to their own sense of identiy when they inevitably fail?

You should have said ' I pity you'. The best thing about getting older is seeing these gifted children turning out just like everyone else's

God I know a woman like this. UNBEARABLE. I wouldn't say she was a friend, just someone who lives locally, has kids in classes with my kids, who I come across at social events.

Everything is a competition. She talks at you, not to you, about what her children are doing and has no interest in asking what's going on in your life or with your kids. This year my DD and her DS did important Higher exams, she met me DD in the supermarket and demanded to know what grades she'd got. When our older children were about 11, my DS was selected for an engineering competition thing at school as part of a team, she rang me up to demand why he had a place and her DS didn't.

Funnily enough, her oldest DS went as far as you possibly can go for Uni (similar distance Aberdeen to London) to get away from her.

Well played, OP. I have done the passive aggressive thing of just walking in hte other direction when I spot her in the distance.

The thing with parents like that is all
they want is to remind you that their kid is better than yours. So it’s fairly futile giving them any time of day. Besides, the ones waving trophies are never as endearing as the kids who are humble, for those kids I have a lot of time and admiration.

It's largely down to the audience when distinguishing between parental pride and competitive bragging. Granny and Grandad will be excited to hear how brilliant your child is. Someone you are on nodding terms with at the school gates, not so much.

Yes, I knew a woman who as her children grew, morphed into a similar character.

I nearly got myself killed stepping into traffic one day to dodge her when I unexpectedly saw her.

Again the talking at you....having to cut in rudely, to just get away.

Both her children were lovely, but very very quiet.

My sons loved chess and one son who played with hers came third in a competition, where he came first.

My son told me hers was an extraordinary player, not just first, but in a different realm altogether that all the other boys.

She wasn't a bad person or unkind, just a ferocious bore.

Thankfully our paths very rarely cross.

I work with a woman who’s like this

your kid passed a test?
hers got higher grades

your kid got a sticker?
hers always comes out with a jumpers worth and loads on his book bag as he had no room left on his jumper

your kid was praised for being nice?
her kid is angel-the sun shines out of his arse

your kid did something nice?
her goes above and beyond all the time-he’s a superhero in his spare time

your kid ate an apple?
her kid has never touched junk food in his life-by choice

your kid is learning to read?
hers taught himself and is reading massive chunks of Shakespeare by himself at bedtime

your kid can hold a pencil?
hers is writing chunks of Latin every night

your kid smiled at an old lady?
hers stops traffic and helps old ladies over the road everytime he sees one

its all ‘A did this,A did that,A is perfect,A,A,A’ all bloody shift

’A’ is 4 years old

i ignore her-but we have another mum who’s the opposite-she’ll only talk about her dd If asked

i always make a point of asking within earshot-mum loves to have a tiny brag about her dd-rightly so,she’s proud of her,but she never goes ott

it drives Uber mum mad as I’m not interested in hers as I’ve heard all about him for the last 8 hours

oddly she has sisters and they all had kids around the same time-I think she’s in some sort of odd competition with them and their kids

i do wish she wouldn’t bring it to work though

bloody marvellous OP, you’re someone I’d want as a friend!

Normally I try and give people the benefit of the doubt and just smile and nod but from what you've said op, she really needed a reality check. Yanbu.

"So I sat and listened as she spoke about this golden child and at the end agreed he was indeed a superhero and I didn't know why I even bothered talking to my DS.
My DH - who when he saw her grabbed DS and moved to another part of the hall - said I shouldn’t have said it."

I don't understand. You told her you should not have talked to your child or about your child? Did your son hear this and did he seem upset?
I would have just said yes your son is a superhero and left it at that without comparing or diminishing my son. That in my eyes would have been sufficient to make the point.
I agree with your husband you shouldn't have said it because she won't change, she will think you're jealous and why stoop to her level of rude pettiness? I would also be worried my son heard it but hopefully your kid knows it was sarcasm :)
I think the mum is very insecure. Insecure people tend to advertise and volunteer their achievements, plaster it everywhere and tell it to anyone who will half listen. I'd have secretly pitied her, nodded and changed the subject or moved elsewhere.

Your reply was perfect, OP. Hopefully you will be spared her litany in future!

Some of us are good and kind and then there is me!
DS said he agreed and that her son is indeed a saint/superhero/demigod.

DH comes across a lot of people like this in the course of his work (nothing to do with children). His stock phrase responses are:
“That’s too fantastic for words”
”I’ve never come across anything like it”
”You must be very pleased”
”I don’t know what to say! Incredible!”
🤣

I like these witty retorts best. Your DH sounds like he's got my sense of humour.

Love the responses @Remainiac. But not sure I've ever met anyone like this in real life to use them on!

There's a bit of 'when that child gets their comeuppance' on this thread that I think is misplaced. It's the parent being an idiot about it, not the kid.

I have 3 kids - one of whom is a multi-talented high-achieving all round star. I promise you I never witter on about her like the parent described in the OP - it's actually quite embarrassing sometimes, and I'm never really sure what to do. I don't want to minimise or belittle her achievements, but neither do I want to seem arrogant or complacent about them. And I'm highly aware that there will be people hoping that she bumps up against some harsh reality as she enters a bigger pond further down the line. I also think it's not a lot of fun being the sibling of a kid like that (my other kids are brilliant, and have their own skills, talents and positive qualities, but less of that all-round everything they touch turns to gold vibe).