To just go away by myself for a couple of nights?

[WakeUpandMakeUp]

'D'P and I are not getting on well right now. I want to separate. He wants to bury his head in the sand and pretend it's not happening.

I'm completely drained and exhausted. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in the house. Feel I can't talk to him about what's happening because he won't accept reality. It's impacting on my sleep, and on my work. My body feels tense and there's a painful knot in my stomach 24hrs a day. I normally never have a problem with my mental health but I can feel myself slipping. I'm bursting into tears randomly during the day without warning.

If I just up and left, I would need to continue paying the mortgage because he can't pay the bills on this place alone. I won't be able to afford that plus a rental around here. So financially, we're both stuck here until we sell the house. ³

We've both had next week booked off work for months. Normally always go somewhere in October but I cancelled our lodge some weeks ago as I knew we were at an end.

I can't stand the thought of a full week with him in the house without the break of us both going to work.

WIBU to go away by myself for a couple of nights? I don't care where I go. I want to just close the curtains, shut the door, and not speak to a single human being for 2-3 days.

There are no DC in this situation, thank God.

To clarify, I mean things like demanding to go through my case and see what I've packed (nice underwear? whatever he would be looking for), use the dog as a weapon and leave the house so I have no choice but to stay for the dog, or even get in his car and follow me to wherever I'm going (he has previous of doing this before).

There's nothing to be gained from it but I agree with PP, it's not the very mature decision. Me and DP have never been good at communicating effectively though.

Leave the note and write in it that you need time to switch off so your phone will be off.

Well your last couple of posts are quite shocking. Goes through your cases and follows you! Controlling and abusive.

Do whatever you need to do to get away in peace. He has forfeited his right to adult communication by behaving so pathetically.

Well I did it. Woke up, packed my case, left a note and away.

I can't believe how nervous I feel over something so simple.

Few hours to kill now before I check into my Airbnb.

Have a fantastic break, (and feel at liberty to shut off your phone if he starts blowing it up).

Have a wonderful time. Mute him on WhatsApp. Breathe.....

Make sure your location is off in your phone. And if you share locations, turn that off too!!!

Enjoy your break, and use it to get your head sorted and to work out what you need to do for your future.

Go. Have a good break, clear your mind, do all the things that make you happy. Then you go back in a much better headspace to deal with the last bit of your relationship. Enjoy!

Have a peaceful time, op. I wish you the best x

Well done op. I was all for recommending you discuss this face to face until I saw your last 2 updates. Hope you have a fab time

Turn off the location settings on your phone. If you don’t, he will show up.

Enjoy your break. I hope you relax and gain some clarity.

I hope you have a lovely time, OP.

Go to a premier inn or travelodge. Pretty cheap, even in country areas, or by a beach. Walk by yourself, clear the cobwebs, hang the do not disturb sign on the door and watch tv and drink wine/tea/eat cake.

Just a wee update. I've been here almost 24hrs now and I'm super chilled

Spent about £60 on wine, snacks, and junk and I'm on the 4th HP movie.

Ex-DP messaged me yesterday and said "so what's the real reason then???" and I got a text from his mum later in the evening to say "enjoy your chill time" - which I found very odd.

Today he's sent a message to my work email??? No idea why. Saying he's "hurt that I couldn't just talk to him after all we've been through". Laying on the guilt

IGNORE.

Enjoy your time.

Its bizarre. We never email each other. It's always call/text/Facebook messenger. He's never emailed my work email before.

Ignore. Don't let the whiny mf and his mum (?!!) intrude. You are entitled to do as you please.

Honestly, who cares what he sends, who he coerces into contacting you or his reasons? You know what you need and what you deserve. Enjoy the freedom!

Hope you didn't answer - don't monitor your work email, you're off.

OP,

It sounds like a very controlling abusive relationship.

Please give Women's aid a ring for support.

He may try and delay the sale.
You need good legal advice.

He sounds awful.

Do not expect decency from him.

Prepare for the worst by being prepared.

Reach out to friends for support.

He is just looking for ways to get a reaction out of you. Ignore him!

Enjoy your break OP