Trip to Pakistan with dad or grandmother - identity card or visa on British passport?

[FeelingGuilty151]

So I was wondering about what would be the most sensible thing to do as my nana and dad have suggested that I go to Pakistan with either of them next year at some point when they go

They suggested I apply for a Pakistani identity card (NIPOC or Pakistani origin card) for overseas Pakistanis and their relatives and offspring as it would give me indefinite visa free access to the country with no restrictions, allowing possible employment, bank account creations and buying land. Or the alternative is a time restricted visa

I am more swayed towards applying for a visa on my British passport as perhaps the identity card could cause issues with the British Home office from helping me if I ever needed to be brought back to the UK

what would you suggest I do?

Yes Lahore is unpleasant as are other inner city areas but that’s the not the locale of the ex pat communities I’m referring to there, but there is a lot going on in Lahore which is eye opening for someone who actually thought nightlife is only for men over there. ofcourse people who live there grumble we all grumble but many I know personally there are living in much better environments unless they are lying! These people researched the areas before moving and obviously have done for work reasons but they can choose to come back if they wanted but on the whole they prefer the lifestyle despite the cons. Pakistan is not a country I would choose to live in but it’s definitely not all the same everywhere. Oh yes I completely agree with that ‘sewage’ smell many people are used to it there but like I said all areas are not like that where the affluent choose to live. When you make sweeping statements you don’t need to say all the implication is there as you have said as a “British person you would hate it there” so every single British person? Vast majority potentially but every single one? That is how sweeping generalisations work. It’s the implication.

Now back to my posts, can you please tell me where I have disagreed about OP being in any danger? Or played down in anyway? Unless you are reading someone else’s posts, I have made it clear where I stand with OP’s situation. I highly doubt her family are part of the communities I’m familiar with which is why I didn’t apply a blanket “oh not all people in Pakistan force/coerce their kids their kids to marry so you’ll be okay” I referred to your generalisations separately.

if anything I generally agree with your advice to OP, not your blanket statements about Pakistan. If you are saying the vast majority perhaps have coerced/arranged marriage then I could easily agree with you but not with the general Pakistan is shit for everyone rhetoric. Yes I would much rather be a woman in the U.K. any day but there are whole bunch of Pakistani students and family connections I studied with at a prestigious university who thought the U.K. Pakistani lifestyle was shit compared to theirs, on the whole they seemed much more cultured and liberal than the British Pakistanis I know and those people do exist and have parents who are more liberal than many British Pakistanis I know. But like I said doesn’t mean that is what the op will experience when she’s goes over reading what we have about her family. That’s where the reference to your lack of comprehension lies, as I felt you were implying I was somehow playing down what could happen to OP which is why I asked you to read my posts again, separately to my posts directed towards you.

But for one of my parents to be so against me going to Pakistan as she “cared about her daughters protection and self respect” to all of a sudden being okay with it is a bit strange

Have been thinking more about this. I'm going to take a leap here and say she changed when she found out you were gay. She wants you married and respectable before you shame the family. I'm sorry op, your mother might be wishing she could go against the tide but family honour and religion and outside pressure are too intertwined . If you werent gay she would have supported you more in finding someone over here but maybe her own prejudices are too deep .

I repeat from earlier, please don't go.

sorry, but i don't understand.
are you british or pakistani ?
you live in britain have british citizenship.
why are you accepting to have your life controlled in this way, as if you are not a grown-up ?
why don't you move out and live independently, or flat-share, or with a female friend/partner, if that's what you want.
did you post before, maybe last year ? some of this sounds familiar.
live your own life.
you don't have to fall out with your parents, but just take charge of your own life.
you need to take responsibility.

Do. Not. Go.

It is not easy for consular staff to pull people out of these situations. There is considerable risk to life.
The OP sounds incredibly naive and has drip fed her story.
It all sounds rather odd. Certainly as she is part of that culture she should be aware of what can go wrong.