To feel terrible I did this?

[Harlowwolrah]

Today a car hit me as they went through a red light and I went through on green.

It was a genuine accident and the wife of the man who hit me was very upset and they were both concerned if I was hurt - I wasn’t. They didn’t speak great English and said they’d only been in the UK a short time.

Their friends showed up and this friend actually tried to say it was both our fault. They later rang me and asked to pay me and avoid insurance. I said no and that I had to go through insurance as who knows what the damage could cost and I wouldn’t have a courtesy car etc

I just feel terrible. They seemed like a nice couple and now I feel I’ve made life hard for them when they’ve just moved countries because their insurance will go up etc

Am I stupid to feel this way?

A young woman backed into me. Very apologetic and crying etc. Obviously talked to people afterwards and a different story was given to the insurance which meant that we shared liability.
Don’t be taken in by a tears and upset.

Don’t feel bad! They sound like twats, insurance all the way!

If someone ran through a red light and hit me I wouldn’t be feeling sorry for them at all. I’d be bloody furious.

@Harlowwolrah

Just imagine it wasn't you in your nice car they hit when they ran a red light but a pedestrian crossing the road. Would you feel sorry for them then?

@MrsLargeEmbodied
In this case I would DEFINITELY not do a swifty cash deal with the driver. Of course he would have lost his insurance (and possibly licence) as he deserved to. You supported his drunk driving!!! You should have called the cops and told them a drunk driver had just caused an accident. Why did you let him off so lightly,?

omg don’t feel bad, they went through a red light. They could have hurt someone. What if you had a baby in the car? What if they’d hit a pedestrian? Woman up!

As you say, you have dashcam footage. Plus, accident investigators have their own ways of checking the veracity of drivers’ accounts of what happened. For instance, they look at the pattern of damage, the road layout and the phasing of the lights at a junction, and draw their own conclusions based on that evidence.

So I think it’s more informed than ‘your word against theirs’. It looks like this was a clumsy attempt at blackmail.

And beware of the ‘witness’ that crops up seemingly from nowhere to back the perpetrators up. This is a classic accident scam.

All sounds dodgy as hell. You don’t know them, and you owe them nothing. Go through your insurance. It will be much easier, and you can just leave it with the insurance company to sort it out. There’s so much that could go wrong if you trust them to pay up outside of insurance process.

So you would have saved yourself money by letting them pay. I feel super sad for you OP that they hit you, but I'd have accepted their offer - saves you both money and hassle 💐

I've been the person who caused a crash by going through a red light. Complete accident - I didn't see a red light and have no memory of there being a red light.

It's still my fault and the insurance company had me bang to rights. I've paid ££££ over the years since but I've no one to blame but myself.

You can feel sorry for them but don't feel pressured to do anything dodgy.

Whilst it is advisable to go three insurance it is not a legal requirement. The only legal requirements are to exchange details and inform police if there are injuries. Too many amateur lawyers on Mumsnet.

You have to be a bit careful with not going through insurance. If they decide they have whiplash a few weeks down the line and you've settled privately then your insurance won't help you.

They won’t ‘suffer financially’ any worse via insurance than paying the whole repair bill themselves.

Be emphatic with the insurance co that you were not at fault. The opinion of their friend who turned up later is worthless. And if they actually thought it was ‘no one’s fault’ they wouldn’t be offering you money.

Personally, I would have taken the money and sorted privately. Your insurance will also increase next year even if its a non fault claim. In regards to the accident, did they go into the back of you?

People saying it's a scam and a setup - how would that work? I don't get how they could make a profit by causing a car crash.

You have to report an accident to your insurance company even if you don't intend to claim. Always go through insurance as damage isn't always noticeable on a visual inspection. Sounds like they are trying to pull a fast one.

DH was rear-ended while waiting to turn left out of a side road. Long story short - CF driver later claimed that the damage to the front of his new and expensive car was caused by DH reversing into him and sued DH. DH’s insurers saw through CF and supported DH with full legal backup. CF showed himself up as a complete idiot during the online court hearing. We’re still waiting for the final ruling, months later. DH reckons to this day that CF didn't want to admit to his wife and friends that he'd mangled his new car....

It’s just difficult for me to see people genuinely upset and crying and I think that might suffer financially

They'll be even more "upset and crying" if it turns out they had no insurance or maybe even a valid licence, but again that wouldn't have been your doing

And I realise it took maybe half an hour for their friend to turn up, but since the chances that they just happened to pass by seem slim it's more than likely the driver called them to come along for intimidation purposes back up

Anyway you've done the right thing in involving the insurers, so just put it out of your mind and let them deal with it

I don't get how they could make a profit by causing a car crash

Google fake crash / whiplash and all will be revealed ...

Through insurance.

years ago my ex husband went through green light at x junction and was hit by car at high speed going through red light. Looked like two cars racing each other late at night.

dh not particularly hurt but our car clearly written off and he disorientated. Two young people saw and came to help.

5 mins later random guy who’d parked further up the road came to ‘help’ and advised him not to call police. But dh did. No number plates taken.

so went through insurance. Took an age and then we moved house. About 18 months later we got a letter at our new house with a court judgement for non attendance so went in favour of of the claimant who was none other than than the random guy who’d parked up the road and sauntered over to ‘help’ and advise not to call the police. The claim was massive - damage to his car - injuries - the whole shebang. I think he was the guy who went into our car, but parked way up the road. Cane over and saw that my dh and the witness had not got the plate as the car was so fast the fact that dh was so disorientated and scared, that he took a punt on fraud. Who bloody knows.

holy shit we were stressed - called the insurance company from back then to say what had happened. They had seen this before. Took the details. This was like two years on. I still had the number of the young student who had helped. Thankfully it worked, we spoke to him, he remembered. He also remembered the weird guy who rolled up a little later. Insurance and police took it on.

just go through your insurance with anything that you perceive to be odd.

YABU @Harlowwolrah They were driving wrongly and they damaged your car and will've caused uphaeval for you.

I suppose they then tried to guilt trip you into not following it up, which is even worse.

What I found with my insurance is unless it's completely clear-cut from the get-go who is at fault you might have to pay your excess, but once the other party is deemed at fault you will get it back through their insurer. It might take up to a year though... speaking from experience! My premiums also barely went up. I was hit from behind by someone going too fast when I stopped at a junction.

I've dashcams front and rear now after someone reversed into me and claimed I hit them.

You're kinder than me, I wouldn't have an ounce of sympathy for someone who ran a red light and wrecked my car (and nearly wrecked me). Even if I did, it would have evaporated when their friend turned up to gaslight me about whose fault it was.

This happened to me. Bloke drove straight into my car, exchanged details, he was very nice. Less than an hour later his wife called me and said they would pay for the damage without going through insurance. I refused. Turned out he wasn't insured, didn't even have a driving licence and also had plenty of previous convictions for driving offences.

I did go through my insurance (had already reported the accident to them), didn't lose my no claims and he was convicted (again) of driving without a licence and insurance.

Do not feel bad. Just let the insurance company deal with it.