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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think remote working is shit

158 replies

Doodoodoodo · 13/10/2022 19:09

I understand that lots of people like remote working for many reasons. However, AIBU to think it is shit? It's so hard when you start new places/teams and you never have a clue who anyone is or who to speak to about things.
I really feel that I'm missing out on some much with hybrid working and I worry for the younger graduates coming through right now.

OP posts:
CoffeeWithCheese · 13/10/2022 20:12

Depends on your job, your colleagues and your home. For us it's a bit of a pain at the moment as we really are starved for space - so we're trying to move house. I do like the arrangement I have at present though - community healthcare so we're never in an office with immediate colleagues anyway - it's whoever is working out of the specific bases you're responsible for, and basically as long as things get done - no one is bothered if you're in the office or working from home - or out on community calls. I tend to just plan my time around a base if I'm seeing clients near them, but on days like tomorrow where I'm seeing someone who is geographically nearer my house than my allocated base - there's no point in me heading out there before then and I'll just work from home and go out to do that visit later in the day. I try to make a point of going into my bases a couple of times a week to keep connections with the other teams in the base because of the element of discussing cases and sharing ideas, but I'd rarely be met up with my direct colleagues anyway.

But my "patch" is ridiculously huge anyway - so anything that means I can plan to minimise my travel is handy - to the extent that I have access passes to offices I'm not officially based in as well and everyone just works out of wherever's nearest (or uses access passes for loo stops between visits!). We're all a very chatty bunch anyway and I did have a very very good induction so I definitely still feel part of the team even as a new starter - but people in LD work tend to be a very chatty bunch anyway and completely crazy - so everyone chats to anyone.

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 13/10/2022 20:13

Better than the alternative. DH left at 5.30 this morning and still isn't home. At least when he pulls these sort of hours at home, he can break for dinner.

EmmaDilemma5 · 13/10/2022 20:16

It also depends who you work with.

Nice colleagues and working in the office is fun!

Not so nice colleagues and it's a nightmare.

I think there's probably a balance to be had.

Spicycurry · 13/10/2022 20:16

The thing is, the people it benefits are hugely defensive and protective over it and often will not accept that it’s not great for others.

I know everyone insists they are more productive but I haven’t seen evidence of this when dealing with various companies. And when people insisting their productivity is so much better but then add it’s great because they can mow the lawn / pick the kids up / catch up on housework you can see why.

It is a PITA for other members of the same household.

I don’t personally think it’s particularly healthy.

RedRosie · 13/10/2022 20:21

@ChilliBandit I'm not thinking of higher level professional services though. I'm talking about lower pay call centre/admin-type type roles. Which will be full of women "appreciating the flexibility" and will probably free up many men to do (even) less at home and advance their careers at the same time.

Maybe time will prove me wrong, we'll see. But my gut feeling is that this isn't as good for women as they want to think it is.

Unicorn2022 · 13/10/2022 20:23

I love it but I am late 40s and established in my career and past the point of having to be visible in the office all the time. I feel terrible for all the trainees who started since the pandemic as they are not getting the same experience the previous cohorts were treated to. I love not having to get up so early, and it is amazing to be able to prep dinner, put on washing or be in for tradesmen during the week after decades of commuting to the office.

Downsides are that I have put on a bit of weight and don't get the same exercise I used to. Also it has made me really unsociable and no longer interested in any small talk.

dementedma · 13/10/2022 20:26

I absolutely hate it and am way less productive on my WFH days. I only do it to save petrol costs on a 45 minute drive.

ChilliBandit · 13/10/2022 20:28

@RedRosie - ah yes I see your point, sorry I was being very inward looking there

Minniem2020 · 13/10/2022 20:29

I hate it .
I hate that the kids have to get shushed because I'm on calls to customers and I hate that I hardly ever leave the house.
I'm on maternity leave at the moment and the thought of returning to work is making me miserable.

Upwiththelark76 · 13/10/2022 20:33

I love going into work to interact with people- when I did work from home I felt so depressed . It’s not for me but can see why people love it .

bigbluebus · 13/10/2022 20:36

DH hated WFH. He did it for the first few weeks of lockdown 1 but then managed to justify going back to the office.

DS started an office job in April. He has been office based from day 1. All his training was F2F. They are a small team but seem to get on and have regular cake and coffee runs and go out for lunch together once a week. I'm really glad he's had the opportunity to experience office life rather than being stuck in his bedroom morning, noon and night.

ThatBliddyWoman · 13/10/2022 20:37

I think It's definitely a personality thing. My Mum absolutely loved work, and had a brilliant career. She was worried about me quite a bit when I left an office job to WFH. 'Won't you miss your colleagues/get sick of being at home/miss the social aspect' I said no to all of those and it's true. I am currently thinking of leaving this job for a hybrid remote one, but only if I can find the correct role (posted a thread on the subject yesterday) and I'd never do one that wasn't hybrid again. The thought of having to get up 5 mornings a week and rush off somewhere does NOT appeal!

I just feel more able to be myself, no putting on a show for people, no having to pretend I'm fine if I am having a bit of an offday. No having to wear an uncomfortable uniform or think about what to wear (I am currently working wearing an Oodie and leggings).

I don't miss the social aspect but then I am an introvert and don't like forced socialising-I am very sociable-on my own terms! I love being at home. Love not having to cram cooking/housework/life admin into the precious few hours I get away from an office every night. The dog is a lot happier too.

My Mum thinks I am mad to not miss being around people all day-but to me that was exhausting, and It's madness to me how anyone would choose to work outside of the home had they a choice-but we're all different aren't we?

Dillwyninthebath · 13/10/2022 20:37

Well I miss even working with the not so friendly team members, feel like I am losing social skills if I only deal with happy clappy people talking about their dogz.

A580Hojas · 13/10/2022 20:45

When i was in my 20s and 30s before marriage and children, a big part of my social life was with work colleagues. I hate to think of my young adult children and all the other young adults missing out on this.

EasterIssland · 13/10/2022 20:47

I love it. I start a new job in 2 weeks so hopefully it’ll go ok

Q2C4 · 13/10/2022 20:47

@ChilliBandit that is a very good point - I hadn't thought of it like that.

woohoowoohoo · 13/10/2022 20:54

It's no exaggeration to say it's saved me! I'm me again , without all the stress of unpleasant colleagues and a long commute. I've had time to sort myself out and gone onto antidepressants (wonderful!) got a dog and I go for several walks a day and work around them. I'm so so calm and happy.

Slight problem in that I don't think I could go into an office again. We're having an away day and I've just said I can't make it . Also too expensive nowadays as I have a long commute.

balalake · 13/10/2022 20:58

I like it. I have space, I have a job with people who are not shirkers, not backstabbers, not dodging work, and I can be more effective only going into the office one day a week. I don't have children in the house, or noisy neighbours, or even a demanding cat or dog. I have technology that works 99% of the time.

That's me. I recognise for the person in a house share, or who is new to a job, or has a bad family dynamic, or lack of space for some reason, or in a rural area with limited broadband, or one of many other reasons, it does not work for them and is worse than going into an office. So for them, the office should be available for them to work in.

Then there are those whose job means that they have to go to a place of work.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 13/10/2022 21:00

It’s landed me on anti depressants. I need to be with people!

luxxlisbon · 13/10/2022 21:02

I really feel that I'm missing out on some much with hybrid working and I worry for the younger graduates coming through right now.

Hybrid working isn’t remote working though?

Some businesses have always been remote and that works very well for some people and gives families flexibility. Very few places are fully remote. If you don’t want remote working go somewhere else.

UWhatNow · 13/10/2022 21:03

I think the overwhelming numbers of people who voted with their feet and now permanently wfh shows how much people prefer it. It has so many benefits and for me, not having to get up so early, not adding to motorway congestion and saving on petrol has been great. It’s a better work life balance all round.

I do get that it is shit for younger people but you are being unreasonable to say it’s shit for everyone.

Darbs76 · 13/10/2022 21:06

I would have hated it when I first started working. That’s how you learn from colleagues by sitting in teams listening to questions other people ask. I finally met my new team today, and it was so lovely to be all together in a room. Quite a lot of people said they weren’t that keen on home working. I do 2 days home, 3 in office, 1 day more than required. I prefer that. Especially in winter when it’s depressing to not leave the house all week

Kite22 · 13/10/2022 21:08

I don't think it is just an age, or an age and seniority thing anymore though.
I used to think that until speaking to quite a few young people in their 20s, quite a few of who have started new jobs since the start of the pandemic, and I assumed they would prefer to be in the office, but only 2 out of the 8 or so I've had this conversation with, prefer to be in the office.

AloysiusBear · 13/10/2022 21:09

It depends a lot on your role. I work primarily with international teams so its really doesn't matter where I'm based. I save 8 hours a week by not havinh to commute. Productivity wise it makes a huge difference.

Original poster
Doodoodoodo · 13/10/2022 21:09

Darbs76 · 13/10/2022 21:06

I would have hated it when I first started working. That’s how you learn from colleagues by sitting in teams listening to questions other people ask. I finally met my new team today, and it was so lovely to be all together in a room. Quite a lot of people said they weren’t that keen on home working. I do 2 days home, 3 in office, 1 day more than required. I prefer that. Especially in winter when it’s depressing to not leave the house all week

I think this is the crucial thing that lots and lots of people seem to be not grasping. I’m thinking back to even 5 years ago and how much I learned just being present with others.
it’s all well and good saying oh well younger people can go in the office but if there’s no one more senior to observe it negates the point and the learning won’t happen regardless.

OP posts: