To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps I only put that because it was in @FlamencoDance 's post, I just hadn't tagged it in.

Maybe they have other caring duties and couldn’t work full time. But why do you care it’s none of you business.

@FlamencoDance We moved country when I had dd so I was unable to work for a good while. I also had a choice and I made it. If I had wanted to be full time we would have worked it out together and planned our lives differently, e.g living where schools have wraparound etc. We are a team, no one is sacrificing anything.

@FlamencoDance You seem to be suggesting women ought not to be permitted to choose to work part time? Seems an odd version of equality if so. Indeed, it seems to me that many workplaces are allowing more flexible working patterns to whoever needs or wants them, regardless of sex.

@ChangeOver22

I'm not trying to make it a sexist debate. It is one.

Interesting that you deflected the question though

*at the end of the day kids need love and attention.

why have kids just to outsource all the care of raising them?*

What does that have to do with working full time?

Who outsources all childcare ?

I work 2 days a week, one being at the weekend. Dh has compressed his hours so does a 4 day week and has 1 year old dd2. Dd1 and ds are 6, 5 and at school. I have no intention of going full time anytime soon. We have no family support with childcare and it's expensive. I don't wish to use childcare if there is a way around it and we are making it work. It depends what you are motivated by. Dh and I both have a work life balance we enjoy and our kids are healthy, happy with a roof over the heads. They won't do several activities each because I simply have no desire to spend my time ferrying them about. They do swimming and an afterschool fitness club a week.Baby goes to 2 classes a week. I want to be home when they are. Both of us are less stressed and there is always the option of my picking up another day once the baby is at school. We have to save for things like holidays but aren't struggling by any means.

I went part time rather than dh because Iwanted to. From a financial point of view it made sense as my profession has a ceiling wage which I'd already hit when working full time. Dh's job is the type where you can get promotions and their wages are banded. He also gets a fab bonus each year whereas it's just not a thing in my job.

@FlamencoDance

Its not just acceptance.

Its fierce and total defence of and anyone who expresses dissent will be viciously attacked

There is a difference between "sexist" and "sex difference."

There is nothing stopping women going to work on a building sites if they really wanted to. The reality is, most wouldn't want to

There is nothing to stop men going to work in nurseries if they really wanted to. The reality is, most wouldn't want to

It's the same with the SAH issue and it's nonsense trying to construct a debate around this premise that men and women would behave in the same way, all things being equal. It just goes nowhere.

I’ve stayed PT - I want to pick my DD up from school & take her, I want to be there for her as much as possible.

i don’t have a partner but I worked really long hours before I had my DD, bought my flat on my own when I was 21, over paid the mortgage, saved etc so now I am mortgage free. My PT wage is for my bills, days out, clothes etc. I make it work, I do without but I happily do so.

@ambambermorning your argument is based on decades of social conditioning and tradition. But luckily things are changing! The nursery leader at DD's nursery is a man and he's the most fantastic and inspiring nursery staff member there. One of my best friends, a girl, is in a building engineering role.

My DD is 14 and I still work PT.

It's glorious. I doubt I'll ever go back FT unless I have to.

@ambermorning

There are lots of reasons (all of them socially conditioned) as to why more women don't work on building sites/men in nurseries.

Being a sahm long term is rare. It's not a sex difference.

Its a societal difference caused by financial and social factors

Is that you Liz?

I'd love to work part time. But can't afford it.
But someone working PT by choice and complaining about lack of money would be incredibly annoying.

Do you work full time and your partner too?

it looks like I’ve touched a raw nerve.

love and attention has everything to do with working full time because guess what, working full time takes up a lot of time so there’s less time for love and attention.

keep deluding yourself with that quality vs quantity argument.

if you really want the answer, ask your children this: would you like to spend more time with mummy or daddy and not have to go to wraparound today? I think we both know the majority of kids would choose going home and being with their mum or dad.

society wants equality but the truth is kids do better with one parent around more than full time working allows. As I said can be mum or dad. Doesn’t matter which one.

Doesn't it depend how much 'choice' is involved? Plenty of people work part time because they can't afford childcare, and it must be frustrating to see people who can afford to work full time (and get better career opportunities as a result) treat part-time work as a luxury.

I’ve always been full time, and especially now since getting divorced I need the money!

I can imagine if I went down to part time or had done so it would be hard to go back up again, or perhaps easy to convince myself that I wasn’t able to. Even if money was tight.

If I didn’t need to work ft I’d be happy to cut down!

@ChangeOver22

You haven't touched a nerve.

We both work full time yes. My children don't go to wrap around. They have never been in paid childcare.

We have never outsourced all childcare.

Our kids get plenty attention and lots of love.

You're still not answering which your oh picked? Loving his kids or money?

Because I raised kids for 8 years and wanted some well deserved days off while they’re at school.

Not sure why you’re puzzled.

What’s ‘puzzles’ me is when people are puzzled that other people’s situations are not identical to theirs.

There is nothing stopping women going to work on a building sites if they really wanted to. The reality is, most wouldn't want to

Is that true? My understanding is that health and safety rules dictate women should not be lifting more than a certain weight (it's two and a bit stone, IIRC). You cannot discriminate, in a job advert, according to protected characteristics such as sex. But you absolutely can say that individuals need to be fit and healthy and able to do the required work, and if that work means regularly lifting more than is considered safe for a woman, then surely, you're not going to hire many women?

Okay so I work 24 hours a week over 3 days 2pm-10pm, I often work extra if offered extra weekday shifts but already work every Sunday so need one day with my school age kids.

I did office work pre kids but that's 18 years ago and if I would get back into it I'd struggle to find a role that let me do school runs and have time off in hols?
I struggle to manage house kids and work as it is at times!!

Me. It's me. I'm responsible for the gender pay gap. I haven't worked for 28 years!