To wonder why some people don't work full-time?

[donniedarko89]

I was part-time myself while DD was very young as I wanted to spend time with her. I know many mums however who have stayed part time even after the kids go to school. They only work 2 or 3 days a week. The thing is, they're not loaded, on the contrary they keep complaining that finances are tight and they can't afford stuff - then why not increase your work days (they could all easily do it)? Some of them even have a cleaner. No hobbies on the side either. It genuinely puzzles me!

Have you heard of the "second shift"?

I work part time even though all mine are in secondary. Dh and I tried both working full time and we were stressed and grumpy so it was decided I would go part time as I found a part time WFH job... I do some voluntary work a few hours a week too and find I'm always busy. Won't ever go full time again unless I have to. And yep I like a good moan about money too 😅

Exactly why I do it too! but just like anyone else I’m known to make the odd comment about wanting to do something else, or an expense - think that’s normal whatever your lifestyle choices xx

I don't moan about money and work full-time. I would find it very annoying someone choosing to work part-time moaning about money. But then I know properly poor people.

We’d all like more money but when push comes to shove I value my time, family and wellbeing above that. Not knocking those who work FT, I’m in awe of them doing it and not having a breakdown 🤣🤣🤣

What is the MN obsession with full time working? Some people choose to work and others choose not to.
I was made redundant from a job share role due to Covid and do not intend working again. Both my DH and I are happy with this. Our DC are grown up and my DH has a business and works a lot of hours. I do some work for him but that is all.

MN posters seem to rate full time workers over anyone else. Personally I think the most important role anyone has is bringing up their children but this role doesn't seem to be recognised as valuable on MN. I know being a SAHM isn't feasible for some but those who make this choice shouldn't receive the vitriol they do.

I worked part time in a lower level job. DH worked long hours and some weekends and there wasn’t any suitable after school care in my village. I did always intend to go back to full time but caring for my dad meant it was better to stay part time. I did end up increasing my hours to a contracted 30 per week though I often ended up working closer to 35 hours.

It's not a choice for some.

I would just like to point out that most people I run across IRL are complaining about not having enough money, not just part-timers. People aren’t being paid enough, whether full or part time. You may have noticed a few strikes happening here and there. That’s not just disgruntled part timers.

Also, some people seem to mix up ‘part time’ with ‘not really working at all.’ They aren’t the same thing. In my job, the part timers work flat out. They don’t just slop in late, drink coffee, watch the full timers work and then go home when it suits them. We are professionals who work 3 or4 days instead of 5 (and are paid accordingly) not some sloppy fools playing at working.

Can I ask a genuine question of all the pet timers on here (almost all at least)
Why is it you who is part time to facilitate family life and not your husband/partner?

No one answering why their full time working ohs don't value their time and family more?

Or why its ok for them to work to the bone for the 'man'

What about their health and well being?

@user1497787065

Do people who work full time not bring up their children?

Who does?

I work part time because I can - I enjoy working but not 45+ hours a week

Someone's jealous they can't afford to work part time.

A lot of women definitely are conditioned to think its the man's role to provide financially. A couple of mum's of kids in DS class complain regularly about costs and whinge that their husbands aren't earning enough/ambitious enough etc, while not working at all with both DC in school. I haven't got the patience really. Both did not really plan careers after school but only "bided their time" in dead end jobs with every intention of stopping asap to have a family, so they haven't experienced fulfilling work, its sad really.

I work FT and I am fucking knackered. I can never get any household type jobs done during the week. I completely understand why some people choose to work PT.

I imagine it has something to do with the fact that the only group of men who do equal chores are SAHDs. There is a study showing that they don't do more chores, just equal chores. So the female partner in many cases would end up working full-time alongside doing most of the chores, which isn't a great deal.

I don't work full time,gave that rat race up when I was 31

Still managed to buy property and and work part time. Looking forward to retiring in 6 years.

Obviously I meant to say journo...and partner instead of spouse!

Also to add to my non-exhaustive list:

Funds for household help such as cleaners (I couldn't work full time without a cleaner and keep my sanity/have time to spend at weekends and evening with my son)
Desire to be independent from a partner
Desire to be equal to a partner.
More time for hobbies/sport

My desire to work full time is partly from my mum who was a SAHM. She definitely shaped my future and I am very grateful to her for that. Society kind of expected her to give up work, there was no part time working provision the in the nursing shifts she did..But when my father stopped earning so much as his work changed due to technology later on she became a bit bitter about not having the luxuries anymore. She also had no earning potential as her qualifications and registration had long ago expired and her confidence in her ability to work was rock bottom. I've internalised a lot of guilt about the sacrifices she made for me. We didn't get to go on big holidays abroad and I didn't go to theme parks or Disney world like many of my friends. I did have a lot of toys and things. She couldn't afford to spend much money on the house which really desparately needs it now. We couldn't afford a sibling. And her relationship with my father is not great, however she is almost completely dependent on him so will never leave. Due to the earning imbalance my father thinks he wields all the power over her and doesn't seem to recognise that she gave up her career and earnings to raise his child and basically him with his 1950s attitude of women. If she left him however she would be financially worse off ironically as she has had to save for her future, he hasn't bothered. She was also hit by the government pension changes which means she doesn't quite qualify for full pension or it doesn't start when promised can't remember which. I remember my mum was always cleaning the house. So even though we did get to spend a lot of quality time together, I still managed to resent that (as a child, not now!). She also became my primary source of entertainment a lot of the time which wasn't particularly healthy.

All of this affected my decision to work full time and she actively encouraged me to be independent due to her circumstances. That's been the right choice for me so far but not sure it will always be the case. Circumstances change!

The point of sharing all this is you make the best decision you can at the time based on the information you have at the time, no one has a crystal ball. Which ever way you choose though there will always be pros and cons and that means there will be guilt/sadness due to the consequences of the option you didn't pick! That might be less money for holidays or less time with the kids than you'd like..Doesn't mean those feelings aren't valid or should not be expressed! We just all need to simmer down and be and let each to their own.

I still wonder why not many men work part time (although I know a few now!), I think that tends to be down to societal expectations and gender paygap in a sort of self fulfilling prophecy/ endless loop!

It's insulting to suggest people who work full time don't value their family, friends or free time.

I don't work part time because I can't afford to.

And by that I don't mean I have tons of luxury goods, expensive holidays etc. ti pay for. I mean that unless I work full time I can't afford the basics of mortgage, bills, food and necessities.

@Goldbar

Then why aggressive to that deal?

I dont/wouldn't

Agree to

Really? How about prioritising mental and physical well-being?

I’m currently on my second maternity leave from a full time job, but went back part time after my first. The reason I went part time and not my husband, was that it was MUCH easier for me to negotiate it on my return from maternity leave, than it was for him to do so from his full time hours.
Whether this is because my employee half expected it (common after maternity leave), or because a lot of people (dh’s employer maybe?) feel like it should be the role of the woman, who knows? (Also because my full time job took me away from home a lot, and I didn’t want to do that anymore. Dh’s job has him always working on the same place, and home very night).

A lot of part timers take on the house crap which means the partner gets more free time with their family too and improves their mental health by not having to juggle. The dont all have the stress of being a breadwinner either because some part timers pull in a surprising amount.

My least stressful time period since having children was me full time and my husband at home full time. My husband most stressful time was us both working full time.

I do agree the default of woman part time is problematic though.