I'm SAHM to a toddler and a baby. DH started working from home in a spare room upstairs a few months ago (he WFH during covid, but from the kitchen so he had easy access to the kettle/fridge etc and also I was freshly postpartum with our first baby so not catering to anyones needs except DS).
I've gone from making just one meal for him a day (dinner), to making breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and multiple cups of tea and coffee all day. I'm not even sure he always wants them because he doesn't drink or eat so much when I'm not there - but when I don't make one for him at the same time he gets really grumpy.
As to not drip feed...
- the reason I've started making breakfast for him is because he used to eat cereal for breakfast quickly before leaving for work and I have always eaten a nicer, more filling breakfast a bit later at around 9/10am; I'm a breakfast person and he generally isn't bothered, but if I'm making scrambled eggs he wants scrambled eggs.
- He used to get lunch for free at work, and I would typically have leftovers or soup. Now we don't always have enough leftovers for both of us and toddler so we end up alternating who eats the leftovers and the other has a sandwich/soup (fine), but I feel like I have to make it for him because he's busy at work (he is).
- Snacks he never really ate but since I'm having quite a few as I'm starving breastfeeding and running around after a very fast toddler, as well as actually exercising.... he wants them too. But he doesn't eat the snacks that I eat, he wants biscuits or crisps or cakes, which the toddler then wants too (and tbh so do I).
I feel conflicted because on one hand I don't mind and if i'm making food/tea for myself anyway I might as well make him one, but also sometimes I just want to only have to think about myself for a minute?
I honestly don't know if I'm being unreasonable, but I sometimes feel like he treats me like in-office catering.