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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About intimidating car park incident

67 replies

SkyBlueCity · 12/10/2022 23:43

I took DS1 to regular sports training at a local club this evening. DS2 and I stayed in the car and used the time to complete some homework.

Suddenly a car eratically pulled into the space next to us (passenger side where DS2 was sat), the male driver got out of the car and flung his car door open onto our car.

Immediately I looked over surprised, the man glared at me and I expected him to gesture an apology (as any normal person would do, right?). He had just hit our car. There was no damage but still, if that was me I would have been mortified.

Within seconds, the man opened OUR passenger car door where my son was sitting and proceeded to have a go at me.

When I stood up for myself and the fact he had just hit our car, with no acknowledgement or apology from him, he told me I was setting a bad example to my child, being disrespectful to him (the man) and patronised me about considering what kind of day a person has had before starting an argument.

He repeatedly told me to 'leave it' which I said yes to, and I kept telling him to shut the door. He continued to ignore this, I couldn't get a word in edgeways, and he kept ranting at me until I once again asked him to shut the door. He then slammed it shut (narrowly missing DS's fingers) and walked off to the club with his own son.

My son was terrified by this whole incident. I was left shaking and upset. This really was rather intimidating for us both.

How dare this man suddenly open our car door, and launch a verbal attack on a woman and child. He seemed to be having a bad day and we caught the brunt of it, but I left feeling so upset and like I was in the wrong for 'looking' at someone who had just opened their car door on to ours!

Yes, of course people have bad days, and sadly a lot of them at the moment, but that is surely no excuse to open someones car door and intimidate a woman and their child??

I guess my question is

YABU - He was quite within his rights

Or

YANBU - WTF!!! How dare he!!!

P.s. In hindsight, a) why didn't I scream for him to shut the door and leave immediately - yep, I have no idea. And b) why weren't the doors locked? Also, yes, they really should have been - I have no idea why not, as they usually are.

OP posts:
NugsNotDrugs · 12/10/2022 23:47

That must have really shaken you up. Did you report this to the club?

Toastoftheton · 12/10/2022 23:51

Oh god how horrific. I really feel for you and your son and yes please, please report it to the club and find out who he is. If he is that unhinged at you I would really worry for his child, could he have been drunk? Tbh i would report it to the police. I know they are overstretched and won't do anything but it will be on record.

MrMrsJones · 12/10/2022 23:54

I would report him to the club and possibly the police.

MarmiteCoriander · 12/10/2022 23:56

How awful for you both!

I hope you took pics of their number plate and car and reported to the police and the club.

Lunar270 · 12/10/2022 23:56

CCTV required I think. Sorry to hear but you might be able to get his car reg and report it.

Jupiter15 · 13/10/2022 18:55

Report him to the police. A55hole!

terriblyangryattimes · 13/10/2022 18:58

In your shoes I'd have done the same, and been angry and annoyed I hadn't shouted back after.

I would be asking if there is CCTV (or dashcam footage from another car?) And reporting him to the club AND the police too. Also checking his car is insured and mot'd just in case it isn't and you can report the twat for that too.

What a knob, and a great example to his own son 🙄

Saz12 · 13/10/2022 18:59

I’d be reporting this to the club. Ask them to check cctv as you want to report the incident to the police.

Saz12 · 13/10/2022 19:00

...and shouting back at him probably wouldn’t have improved things.

bigblueyonder · 13/10/2022 19:03

Completely out of order. If you had been a man he would not have done this. Report to the club, police & note registration.

Afterfire · 13/10/2022 19:03

Definitely report to both the club and to the police. It’s harassment.

Dave20 · 13/10/2022 19:05

He did it because your a woman. I noticed this lots in the driving industry.
Men tend to give road rage to women more than men. It’s a power thing.
A man is more likely to react physically than a woman.

AnApparitionQuipped · 13/10/2022 19:07

Within seconds, the man opened OUR passenger car door where my son was sitting and proceeded to have a go at me.

What exactly was he accusing you of?

girlmom21 · 13/10/2022 19:07

Saz12 · 13/10/2022 19:00

...and shouting back at him probably wouldn’t have improved things.

So, what? She should just back down from an aggressive man? That's what he said wanted.

purpleboy · 13/10/2022 19:09

Do you recognise him from the club, I would not let this lie at all, how dare he think he can speak to you like that. Hope you are both ok.

Dave20 · 13/10/2022 19:10

Also,the police should be interested in this. Especially the fact he opened your car door.

RedAmber · 13/10/2022 19:11

Ditto what PPs have said this man needs to be reported to club and police! How the fuck dare he!

No way would he have done that to a man!

Hopefully there is CCTV in the car park.

Ahnobother · 13/10/2022 19:12

Absolutely report this to the club and police.
The club should be able to assist police with identification if you can give a time and description if not car reg.

He behaved like this in front of two children? What a disgrace.

I'd be very shaken after that experience OP.

Turnaroundandigone · 13/10/2022 19:13

I had similar when someone drove into the back of my stationary car. I wish I had reported him to the police, absolute bellend was intent on trying to get me to admit liability. Then he tried to get me to let him fix it because he was a mechanic and it was just a cracker bumper. It wasn't just a cracked bumper, insurance were touch and go whether to write it off.

ArcaneWireless · 13/10/2022 19:13

I hope there is CCTVand you can identify him.

Damn right I’d be making it known at the club. Long and loud.

What a poor, sorry specimen of a man.

EmmaH2022 · 13/10/2022 19:16

Afterfire · 13/10/2022 19:03

Definitely report to both the club and to the police. It’s harassment.

Agree.

what did he shout at you? How scary, what a crazy guy.

ThanksAntsThants · 13/10/2022 19:27

What makes you feel his actions might have been reasonable?

mamabeeboo · 13/10/2022 19:47

Get into a habit of locking your car doors before you drive.

Georgeskitchen · 13/10/2022 19:59

20 quid says this tosser wouldn't have done this to a man. I would have called 999 there and then and told them a man was threatening you and your child with violence

Couldyounot · 13/10/2022 20:04

YANBU, OP, and I'd speak to the club. I feel sorry for this guy's son. Imagine having a father prone to hair-trigger fury like that