About intimidating car park incident

[SkyBlueCity]

I took DS1 to regular sports training at a local club this evening. DS2 and I stayed in the car and used the time to complete some homework.

Suddenly a car eratically pulled into the space next to us (passenger side where DS2 was sat), the male driver got out of the car and flung his car door open onto our car.

Immediately I looked over surprised, the man glared at me and I expected him to gesture an apology (as any normal person would do, right?). He had just hit our car. There was no damage but still, if that was me I would have been mortified.

Within seconds, the man opened OUR passenger car door where my son was sitting and proceeded to have a go at me.

When I stood up for myself and the fact he had just hit our car, with no acknowledgement or apology from him, he told me I was setting a bad example to my child, being disrespectful to him (the man) and patronised me about considering what kind of day a person has had before starting an argument.

He repeatedly told me to 'leave it' which I said yes to, and I kept telling him to shut the door. He continued to ignore this, I couldn't get a word in edgeways, and he kept ranting at me until I once again asked him to shut the door. He then slammed it shut (narrowly missing DS's fingers) and walked off to the club with his own son.

My son was terrified by this whole incident. I was left shaking and upset. This really was rather intimidating for us both.

How dare this man suddenly open our car door, and launch a verbal attack on a woman and child. He seemed to be having a bad day and we caught the brunt of it, but I left feeling so upset and like I was in the wrong for 'looking' at someone who had just opened their car door on to ours!

Yes, of course people have bad days, and sadly a lot of them at the moment, but that is surely no excuse to open someones car door and intimidate a woman and their child??

I guess my question is

YABU - He was quite within his rights

Or

YANBU - WTF!!! How dare he!!!

P.s. In hindsight, a) why didn't I scream for him to shut the door and leave immediately - yep, I have no idea. And b) why weren't the doors locked? Also, yes, they really should have been - I have no idea why not, as they usually are.

That's possible as well. Sometimes they're all Council.

Why have you even asked why he was within his rights, when as far as I can tell you were just sitting in your car?

I would report him too. To the club and police. Great advice upthread about licking the door and pressing your car horn.

Something similar happened to me once. I grabbed my phone and started filming and then called 999 when he backed off and realised I wasn’t reacting to his bullshit. Police came and turns out he was over the drink drive limit and lost his licence.

Report to club and police! Please do that.

I suspect the OP won't come back but I want to know what he said when he opened the door. There is detail about other parts of the interaction but not that.

His behaviour was not acceptable but I wonder if the OP was parked badly or something.

This. What had triggered him to do this? It's not in any way acceptable but there must have been something. Was he really late (as OP had already dropped her child off) and she was parked in the nearest space to the entrance? Or badly parked so that he had no option other than hitting her car in order to get out of the car?

To get that upset so quickly is disturbing. The club should be told if only to be aware of the child's living situation and potential future incidents with other parents.

"He had no option other than hitting her car"? Really? How often in the life you have no other option? Even if she was blocking two places, he surely had other option than hitting her car.

This.

Men are particularly bullying in car parks. I always lock my doors now. I had a man approach my car to do something similar and I locked the doors and sounded my horn until he thought better of it. I hadn't done anything to him at all, the carpark was nearly empty and I chose to take the shortest route to the exit. There was plenty of room but he chose to go out of his way to block me in. Funny isn't it a man can go the wrong way (when it isn't affecting anyone) and we all know it's a short cut, if a woman does the same she is in need of a lesson from the patriarchy.

YANBU what an arsehole. I'd definitely report him.

I always lock the door whilst driving and my husband is bemused by this. Just another thing that men don't have to think/worry about.

People have always had bad days, stressful jobs, breakups, bereavement, none of these have ever been an excuse to terrify a child and shout at another person.
Did you get his reg number? I’d report it to the club and the police, it’s totally unacceptable behaviour and I’d suspect drug use as it’s way over the top for banging a car with a door.

Of course he's in the wrong. I'm sorry you and your son went through this. I think you did the right thing for you. I'd have reacted differently though because I dont think l would have felt as intimidated as you. Having said that my way would not have defused the situation at all.
Maybe it would be an idea to devise a drill for any such occasions.

might be a bit late now - this is a zombie thread

Jeez! ZOMBIE THREAD ‼️ ‼️

What was he having a go at you for? I think you did the right thing, shouting back at an unhinged angry person isnt going to do any good