About intimidating car park incident

[SkyBlueCity]

I took DS1 to regular sports training at a local club this evening. DS2 and I stayed in the car and used the time to complete some homework.

Suddenly a car eratically pulled into the space next to us (passenger side where DS2 was sat), the male driver got out of the car and flung his car door open onto our car.

Immediately I looked over surprised, the man glared at me and I expected him to gesture an apology (as any normal person would do, right?). He had just hit our car. There was no damage but still, if that was me I would have been mortified.

Within seconds, the man opened OUR passenger car door where my son was sitting and proceeded to have a go at me.

When I stood up for myself and the fact he had just hit our car, with no acknowledgement or apology from him, he told me I was setting a bad example to my child, being disrespectful to him (the man) and patronised me about considering what kind of day a person has had before starting an argument.

He repeatedly told me to 'leave it' which I said yes to, and I kept telling him to shut the door. He continued to ignore this, I couldn't get a word in edgeways, and he kept ranting at me until I once again asked him to shut the door. He then slammed it shut (narrowly missing DS's fingers) and walked off to the club with his own son.

My son was terrified by this whole incident. I was left shaking and upset. This really was rather intimidating for us both.

How dare this man suddenly open our car door, and launch a verbal attack on a woman and child. He seemed to be having a bad day and we caught the brunt of it, but I left feeling so upset and like I was in the wrong for 'looking' at someone who had just opened their car door on to ours!

Yes, of course people have bad days, and sadly a lot of them at the moment, but that is surely no excuse to open someones car door and intimidate a woman and their child??

I guess my question is

YABU - He was quite within his rights

Or

YANBU - WTF!!! How dare he!!!

P.s. In hindsight, a) why didn't I scream for him to shut the door and leave immediately - yep, I have no idea. And b) why weren't the doors locked? Also, yes, they really should have been - I have no idea why not, as they usually are.

Who on Earth thinks the OP is being unreasonable?

5% have voted ”YABU - He was quite within his rights” - so they think the man was within his rights to bash @SkyBlueCity‘s car with his door, then verbally abuse her in front of her son, and his. I cannot believe anyone thinks he was in the right here.

I'd report this to the police- I'd imagine he will do this again as it was unprovoked and would be worried he would target someone vulnerable. Would also report to the club, Hope you and your son are okay

I think he should be reported, that is very scary

One thing going forwards - keep the door locked when just sitting in the car and if someone starts harrassing you from outside, use the horn to draw attention to it. When seated in a car you are quite vulnerable to people opening the doors.

There are lots of secret menz here who feel the need to put women in their place. Voting means nothing anymore.

OP get straight onto the club and report it. Also contact the police and get it down as a road rage incident. Just because you were parked doesnt mean it wasn't road rage, or he could have been drunk or "smoking".

Of course you called the police while all this was going on....

He’s nasty and aggressive- this is not your fault!

I would report it to the club as a safeguarding issue given that your child would have been terrified and it happened on club grounds

Bet he wouldn't have done that to a man.

My DH is built like a brick shithouse and when we compare what reaction people have to us in similar circumstances, it's very funny. And disgusting. He can basically do whatever he likes, no one ever says anything.

That’s the criminal offence of verbal assault, report to the police (and the club) for sure and emphasise that the guy seems irrational and mentally unstable and aggressive towards a child.

Thenpolice will almsot certainly do nothing bht they might do.

@SkyBlueCity

Can you clarify why he opened the door?

Can you clarify why he opened the door?

Because he's a nasty bully.
Presumably she looked at him the wrong way.

YANBU people are deranged. For this reason I always have my car doors locked. Deffo report to club.

Report in writing via email to the club
report to the police

it’s assault

I voted YABU as it’s such a silly question.

it’s actually annoying when people post such stupid questions on here, of course she isn’t unreasonable, and she knows it

Why would you be deliberately goady? Sometimes people are so awful you doubt your own sanity

While I don't see anything acceptable about this man's behaviour, I'm wondering what is the result of reporting him to the club which those who suggest it would expect...

I get asking about CCTV for police, but I don't see any action the club could take

They could ban him from the premises if he's harassing their other customers.

Report to the club.

I’d seriously consider reporting to police as well. Imagine what he’s like with his own children if he was like that with yours.

Hardly goady

ask a stupid question, get stupid replies

Posters like the OP are looking for attention, hence the faux ‘was he entitled to open my car door and scream at me in front of my child’

Please report it to the club. Shocking behaviour, and he's teaching his own son that it's acceptable to bully women and children.

As soon as he was gone I would have lifted my legs and booted my door into the side of his car. I don't get what he was having a go at you about, though. Did you say something to him before he opened your door? And yes you should have locked your doors, especially if you have children in the car!

My boyfriend thinks I'm paranoid for constantly locking all the car doors the second the doors close but reasons like this are why. Hope you are all ok op that sounds horrible

He had a go at you because his door hit your car?! Lunatic! I hope you got his plate. I’d report him on the non emergency number for intimidation.

OK, thanks. I somehow imagined the parking lot as a public space and the club leaders shrugging and claiming that they can't do anything about anything.