What would you think if you saw this on your DH's phone?

[Franciscaa]

My DH messaged a woman on WhatsApp asking about a job. It's a woman he used to work with a few years ago. She's 8 years younger than us.

I know I shouldn't have looked but I knew something was up. She replied telling him about the job (in a polite and professional way) and he then asked her another question. She didn't reply so he sent her loads of question marks and "well?" and "..." about 15 in a row.

He then said "are you teasing me?"

Spot on. I’d be embarrassed for him, and of him.

He won't be getting this job OP. I hope she's already told HR what a nuisance he is. But I'm sorry that you have to deal with that, it's not fair for you.

I don't get this about being outing, either. Why does the OP think everyone knows who her husband is? Unless it's Boris Johnson or something.

He sounds abnormal and creepy.

I don't think everyone knows who I am, it's just quite a specialised job and I know some friends of mine are on MN. So I'd prefer them not to know about this. Im embarrassed enough as it is.

It's even more of a creep and embarrassing that's she's clearly not reciprocating and that she is his senior yet he's acting like that.

32.26 personal best at park run recently. I’m very pleased as started couch to 5k in lockdown at 60. I’d never run before.

Well done but wrong thread @Newcatbrowntail

Maybe they are old friends with a jokey kind of relationship. I think people are going way over the top here with their views.

Couldn't say not knowing their relationship. There are men at work that I have a jokey and flirty relationship with where there is no feeling on either side and I could imagine having that kind of exchange with them.

You’re wrong @Mummadeze.

Just plain wrong.

Hardly likely as the woman isn't joining in and being "jokey" back. She has remained professional. Also, would he ever conceivably say "Are you teasing me?" to a male colleague? He's just embarrassing himself.

Is there an actual job or is the job some kind of cover for something else?

That's really embarrassing, so weird and unprofessional to pester someone and not read their cues to back off. He's obviously blown his chances of getting the job, what an idiot.

The poor woman. He’s embarrassed himself. Was he drunk by any chance?

Apart from anything else it’s really unprofessional. Would she have anything to do with the interview or hiring? That would make it even worse in a professional sense.

At best it sounds like he’s pressuring her because he wants to get a job where she works. At worst he’s like those creepy guys on dating apps who keep trying to make you respond by pinging you over and over because you didn’t reply quick enough for them.

This whole thing is just "not quite right", and I can't really work any scenario through in my head that sounds like a logical chain of events. OP, I would personally just confront him with what you have found and ask for an explanation. Yes, there may be defensive repercussions about snooping, but better that than carrying on regardless. Good luck x

I'm sorry OP, he sounds letchy and embarrassing. The poor woman isn't even slightly entertaining it, and she's a much more professional person than I am, as I'd have told him to fuck off at this point.

But on a professional level, if I was her I would have absolutely showed the messages to whichever staff member is interviewing him. I can hardly imagine she's grinning from ear to ear about him joining her place of work!

Bin him. He's a pest at best.

She must dread seeing his messages appear on her phone.

He's behaving like an embarrassing teenager. Plain weird.

He is making an absolute tit of himself, and this woman must be thinking what a sad creep he is. How embarrassing. I don't think I could let this go.

I wouldn't be happy with the are you teasing me line one bit! Is he generally a flirt? I'd say he was probably just inappropriately attempting to flirt and get his ego boosted. Perhaps they've had flirty banter before, or perhaps he's just one of those men that thinks sexual innuendo's are funny and ok with women who are not their wives! She probably thinks he's a dick. I always say to my husband if it's not something you would say to another man or in front of me then it's not ok.

God love you OP, he's really creepy.

Two hopes of that job, Bob hope and No hope!

If I was her I would be flagging his behaviour.

So off.

Protect yourself is all you can do in this situation.

I'm sorry.

Yeah that is creepy , it's crap when you realise there's a different side to your partner that you don't know about isn't it.