What would you think if you saw this on your DH's phone?

[Franciscaa]

My DH messaged a woman on WhatsApp asking about a job. It's a woman he used to work with a few years ago. She's 8 years younger than us.

I know I shouldn't have looked but I knew something was up. She replied telling him about the job (in a polite and professional way) and he then asked her another question. She didn't reply so he sent her loads of question marks and "well?" and "..." about 15 in a row.

He then said "are you teasing me?"

Obnoxious dick?

Could he be having an affair OP and deleted most of their message history but not these final question marks?

Perhaps he is desperate for a better paid job, to be able to escape the woman who snoops on his phone ?

To be honest it depends on the question. If it’s “do you think I’ve got a chance with this job” I would think he’s desperate and didn’t learnt how communicate professionally. In other situations I would think that he’s just rude.

I'd say he has used the job as an excuse to contact her and got the acknowledgement he wanted to prove she still had him within her contacts and proof she was willing to respond to him.
I'd then say she would have likely responded to the second question but in his mind, the reply wasn't quick enough so he sends the question marks etc. which, for most people would be enough to think "wtf?!" and absolutely never respond again.

I'll be surprised if she hasn't blocked him after that.

Whilst it's not direct proof of anything specific I can't see anyone who was genuinely interested in a job, acting like that.

However, I have worked with people before who thought they were a shoo-in for a promotion because it was their turn/been on staff longer etc. and their general entitlement, complacency and lack of any effort in the application process / interview led to others, who did put the work in, getting the job.

He might have thought that getting that job was as easy as just texting her, getting the details and they'd just fall over themselves to give him it because he showed he was interested(?)

I had a man on facebook contact me about buying something yesterday. After a couple of messages I got a 'can I pick up today' but didn't see it as was cooking the kids tea. 5 min later I got a '???????????' Then 5 min after that a '.....well??' I'd never met them, he was just a pushy rude bastard. Only you know whether there is something more to it or your husband is a pushy rude bastard

I read it differently. It sounds like maybe “Jack” the manager is a bellend or bit of a known character, and he is checking that that person doesn’t still work there/direct line manager for the role before applying for the job. All the jokey punctuation sounds like the “in joke” of Jack being someone to avoid.

I’d think it is curious. Often colleagues get a jokey kind of relationship especially if they have trauma bonded over a shit boss. So I’d have questions.

But my mind wouldn’t go to he wants to fuck her like some posters are implying.

I wouldn’t think anything of it apart from cringing at how rude and creepy my DP is.

There are some active imaginations on this thread. How you can conclude a past affair from this amount of info is beyond me.

No matter the questions involved, 'are you teasing me?' is leading and a massive red flag... I would not be happy OP

Is he actually looking for a new job?

Yeah, that isn't a good way to look for a job!

Ewww

I find him pushy and discourteous but I’m not getting “affair” vibes tbh.

I’d think there was something I was not understanding about the question he asked or there is some sort of in joke or something. My mind doesn’t go to anything sexual necessarily

I wouldn't jump to the assumption something has happened in the past but I would be a bit creeped out by the way he was speaking to her. It's unprofessional and a bit sleezy. Tbh I'd question if he's harassed her in the workplace before I'd question if they've had anything else going off her reaction to him.

Pretty sure it was 15 dots not question marks lol

I don't know about reigniting anything, but he is being disrespectful by demanding attention like that just because they know each other. It undermines her professionalism.

What I’d THINK would be that something had happened between them previously and that he was using the job as an excuse to try and engage her in...

^an affair if not a flirty escape from his life with you.

sorry, must’ve been rubbish coming across the messages. I don’t pick up that something has happened but it sounds a bit like he might be harassing her i.e. unwanted attention. She seems to want to be polite but isn’t interested in being in touch with him.

This exactly. He seems annoying (when you say 15, you mean 15 ellipsis, correct, not 15 individual questions?), but I don't see any indication that they had a prior romantic relationship based on this interaction. The teasing comment was him asking her if she was teasing him about a job being available.

Does he normally behave like a pushy teenager when texting/messaging people?

If not, then I would assume some degree of familiarity (and we all know that breeds contempt amongst other things) that would lead him to think he could behave like that/not consider that inappropriate behaviour.

Anyone messaging me with a question then blowing up my phone with constant:

?????
Well????
?????
Hmm???

Would be soundly told to fuck off, and then blocked.

I saw that in my husband's phone I would think "o h f*, this eejit is going to be unemployed a lot longer if that's his approach".

No sure where anyone is getting affair vibes. She kept it all polite and professional and ignored him when he wasn't doing the same.

@Franciscaa I see. Yes sounds like there might be some history there with this women. He is making himself look like an idiot here and not you however it's but natural for you to feel insecure. But if this is the way your dh pursues I wouldn't worry.