I would pop an note through the door saying 'new fence will be erected on x date so if there is anything bordering the fence she needs to remove please do so by that date as the work will not be being delayed' . And I would leave it at that.

It’s difficult when you have a neighbour who is a bit stroppy. I think it’s worth retrying to keep on as good terms as possible with her as you are planning to live there permanently.

In her defence, it’s not great living next to a holiday let. With the best will in the world, people on holiday are not living to the same timescale as residents, and there is inevitably some tension.

I would write to her about the fence, in a letter, or maybe a card if you could find a nice one. Then you have informed her , but in a’neighbourly’ way. Maybe you could begin ‘ I m sure will be pleased that we are going to replace the horrible old fence….’. You could take a copy for your records.

it’s a bummer to placate them, but going a few steps at least means you have tried not to wind them up.

Will they need to go onto her land to put up the new fence? If not, just email her to notify her that it's happening and roughly when. If they do then you'll need her permission which is more tricky as she sounds awkward.

I would head any arguments off at the start by including a copy of the plans which show it is legally your fence. And advise the timescale. Leave it at that.

Or just ignore her completely unless it's an issue where you actually legally need her consent for a shared "thing".
Just don't engage. Tell your letting agent to "smile and wave" or whatever the equivalent is if she phoned - maybe a polite "we will pass your message on to the Shoulds" and then ignore her.
It sounds like anything and everything you do will be cause for her to complain, so just let her moan and take no notice.

Having had my own difficulties with a neighbour I would advise doing everything in writing so there is no possibility of "oh but I thought you meant ...." and don't engage in conversation about repairs etc.

With regard to the fence - an email or letter clearly stating you have checked the deeds, confirmed with the solicitor that the fence is yours and will be replaced on x date by Mr Z contractor. I would add that the contractor will do all work as far as possible from your side but neighbour will appreciate this might involve some stepping on to their property so you are advising them of the date of the work. Finish up by saying if you do not hear from them within 7 days of the date of the letter you will assume it is ok to proceed.

Is it confrontational to say upfront that it is your fence ? Absolutely not - much better to be clear and upfront from the very beginning rather than have her labouring under a false assumption that it may be her fence or a shared fence.

@PomBearWithoutHerOFRS advice is good - do not engage unless absolutely essential.

Whichever way you approach this, she’ll take it the wrong way by the sound of it. Some people are just mad and difficult unfortunately.

Just do everything by the book and completely ignore her, at best she’s lonely and at worst she is paranoid. I’d consider selling up, you don’t want to live next to someone like that, she’ll suck the life out of you.

When are you next down there? If it’s before work is due to start, go round and tell her in person. She’ll moan at you etc etc, say it’s her fence blah blah, and you’ll then follow up with an email saying ‘as per our chat on X date, we’re replacing our fence this year, we’ll let you know when we have a date from the contractors, and I’ve enclosed the deeds showing it’s our fence, thanks, etc’

You can’t stop her moaning or causing a fuss when the work actually starts so just resign yourself to that.

I think your work on driveway was probably covered by party wall requirements? but not fence, unless it's a wall. www.gov.uk/party-walls-building-works

I couldn't live next door to someone like that but I take stuff to heart too much. Yes agree if you give an inch she'll take a mile, information on a need to know basis only

You could start with 'you'll be pleased to know that upon checking, the fence is our responsibility so costs will be ours...'. Make her feel like she's winning

I wouldn't say anything and just get it done ASAP. Unless she has dogs to keep secure, then I'd post a note a few days before hand.

Sorry - this type of person will always find something to be difficult about so I would definitely be very business like and clear in any communication. I would really not go and "chat".

I agree with the PP saying she'll likely take it wrong however you phrase it. I'd just inform her, politely, that work will take place on [date] so that she knows.

And I'd carry on acting as pleasantly as possible otherwise. Adopt a general air of being far too busy to remember that she has had problems with you in the past, smile and nod.

I have an irritating neighbour and this is my approach. My neighbour is an inventive and persistent complainer about trivia (essentially, she is still annoyed that she doesn't have full access to our garden and outbuildings, which her husband used to have before he died, because back in the 90s he was friends with the man who lived here and they grew their veg together). I just consign each complaint to the trash bin of my memory and make a point of smiling breezily next time I see her.

Holiday home you say, and you plan to retire there you say? I really hope you have a happy time in your home.

BUT.... I could not live like that with a neighbour constantly driving me up the walls with controlling, nosey, bullying trivia. Some retirement!

I know you have put a lot of investment into your property and moving isn't the absolute solution, but have you had a look around the area for maybe a smaller house that's detached with its own driveway and no flipping neighbours!

Sorry I am not helping you much, but we all just get a snapshot from posts made, and I would not be able to tolerate this interference whilst waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I wish you well though, and if you have the fight in you - do as others have advised. I'm useless at this sort of thing myself.

You know she'll moan regardless. I'd write to her be very objective and leave it at that.

Think about what you'd like to know if the situation was reversed and go with that. You'll never win her over.

Totally me too! I couldn't cope. I've got family like her and it's bad enough!

we’ve had ongoing difficulties with one of our next door neighbours throughout our lengthy renovation project. It can’t have been nice to live next to a building site but she has been really tricksy!
We remained polite, involved her in anything which might concern her, listened to all her concerns and where possible accommodated them.
As it happens the latest issue is the boundary between her property and ours, it’s her boundary and we’ve worked with her to establish a solution we can both live with.
We bought this house to retire to as you have, we really don’t want to be on bad terms with our neighbours.
If I were you I’d knock on her door, I think a note through the door seems very unfriendly personally. Take a copy of the deeds to show her if she asks but advise her to check her own deeds. Perhaps because you aren’t around to speak to all the time she feels anxious about what’s happening and she could be put out about the property having holiday tenants, my son lives close to a property let out on air B&B and it causes him endless aggravation.
Try to put yourself in her position, I wonder if she lives alone and doesn’t have anyone much to talk to about her worries, that always amplifies them. Be kind and thoughtful and she cannot have anything to reasonably berate you for and you might find things turn out ok in the end. Our new neighbour recently told my husband that she couldn’t wish for better neighbours! Good luck!